Getting old is harder for attractive people

[SignedUpJust4This]

My sister is really struggling with accepting the aging process. She is approaching 50 and it's all she talks about. I am a bit younger but couldn't care less.

I am trying to work out if this is simply because I'm younger or if it's because she was always the good looking one. I am not worried about losing my looks as such because I never had any in the first place. Is aging harder to accept when you were previous a looker? Interested to hear other people's experiences.

I was not a pretty child, my sister was the good looking one. I have grown into my looks though and my sister...not so much as she smoked like a chimney.

I don't care too much though, I'd rather my body wasn't ageing as the stiffness and pain in my joints is something else and am fed up wearing glasses. I'm 51.

I’m quite fat, it really distracts me from being old - also helps with the wrinkles
A couple of friends have lost a LOT of weight recently and I have to say they look older (but thinner)

Agree with you Formidable Mrs C, until you got to "very pretty" re. Jordan/Katie Price.

She was always, always utterly and completely totally average, or even less than. Plastic surgery has improved her, actually, IMO, the exception to the rule.

@Shallowhals You will recover from that! I had my 2nd child at 42, he's now 8. I looked horrific for a few years due to lack of sleep and being an older mum, but have recovered from that quite well! Nobody thinks I am his nanna (yet) and I do have to contend with all the 20 something mums at the school gates with kids the same age as mine!

@BogglesGoggles

that said I do have random days every now and then when I am very attractive (lots of attention but only for one day at a time). So I suppose if that was normal for me it might be weird to suddenly loose that

I get this! think it's to do with how much less bloated my face is on a particular day.

@CocktailRarebit I always thought she had a pretty face, particularly when she was pictured without the slap. I was shocked at the state of her on the TV, although it was early morning so maybe I am being unkind!

I look better now than I did in the 1980's, seriously

Not in a sexy way (am too tall, boyish and severe looking to be sexy) but I have grown into my own style and am content with it

My currency has always been my intelligence so since that hasn't (yet) dimmed there isn't much change here

@Hoppinggreen I totally agree with that! My stepmum is extremely attractive but very thin, it really shows in her face. I'd prefer to have a little extra baggage and less sag!

I'm 47 and the neck is going but hey, I'm 47! I think I'm fairly attractive and was v attractive in my youth but honestly I really don't care about normal ageing. I know its a cliche but having lost a friend recently to cancer it really IS better than the alternative.

I think it's more that people whose identity sort of hinges on being attractive must find it difficult losing their looks. And it must be hard not to identify as "the pretty one" when that's what society tells you you are all the time.

So I think you're generalising a bit, but it's not totally U.

Fwiw, I was a plain child and teenager. I was better looking in my twenties and now look alright, but am not overly fussed about looking pretty anymore. I never was pretty, so..
.. meh.

Being totally honest, I am in my 40’s and am finding the ever-increasing eye bags and slacker jawline hard to just accept.

I’m not suggesting I’m anything special, but from my late teens onwards I would noticably ‘turn heads’ (sorry for the cringey term but I don’t know how else to say it) walking down the street or going into a bar etc. If a group of us would go out, I would generally get hit on first.

Now I generally get ignored, unless I make a big effort for a night out - I’m turning ‘invisible’ in that middle aged way, I think. I know I shouldn’t care, or consider my worth measured in wolf whistles on building sites, but I find it depressing. Maybe it’s just the stark reminder that I’m getting older.

I do tell myself every day how lucky I am to have my health and a DH who loves me and thinks I’m beautuful however crap I’m looking. But if I could take a magic pill to make me look 20 years younger, I would.

Cocktailrabbit you knows it!I have a single mum acquaintance who is a properly stunning English rose type beauty. She is 42 and wants a relationship but all the men her age want to meet 25 year olds. Sadly there will be some 25 year olds who fall for the bullshit that this is real love despite the age gap blah blah. When these guys want to fuck them for the date on their birth certificate FML.

No-one gives a single shit about your intelligence though, AF; get with the programme

the I'm afraid.

an early night beckons Zzzzz...

Your poor friend ; men have little imagination Chiaria, as it goes. but its fun to play with their misconceptions, nonetheless ...

I suppose it depend how you think of yourself. My sister and mum were both bloody gorgeous when younger and obviously aged (born in 30s and 50s). They never complained about fading beautify just aches and pains.

I was never a beauty but do think that I was cute (when I look at old photos) but never knew it.

I do wonder how vain men and women manage.

Cocktail take that pint of water with you....

My intelligence has taken me a long way. The people who would ignore it I don't need in my life, tbh

I really think beauty can be found anywhere, and kind, smiley people are the most beautiful. Confidence is attractive, and those who perceive themselves as beautiful have more confidence. Maybe as they age they can draw on that confidence?
I have lots about my looks I don't like- wonky teeth, very short legs... but things i do like- slight frame, dark features and high cheekbones. I am now going grey and dumpier... but I think I am still nice to look at if I smile, bad teeth and all!

A few of my friends, who are in their late 30s, are struggling with a bit and have got into injectables.

I’m a bit vain, I do worry about it a bit, but I think that is also related to being single, I’ve only got so long to rely on my looks to pull!

No I know why not bothered about ageing/covering my grey hairs. 😄

I absolutely refuse to believe that getting older = losing your looks.

You are right Catherine. There are beautiful older ladies. I think maybe you just lose a bit of attention.

Daft idea entirely. Getting older and how we accept it is a psychological response not based on good legs. Many women improve their looks with age. They become more confident and less inclined to ludicrous fashions.

I was never particularly lovely when younger and think I look better now, in an approaching-middle-age way. Not many genetic advantages came my way - I’m short, fat and speccy with wonky teeth - but think I dress well, and am not particularly self conscious. Weirdly it has never been a problem to catch the attention of handsome chaps. So at least for now, ageing is not the issue that I see it is for some of my more appearance focused friends.