I've been sacked

[user910]

Two AIBU's in this I suppose.
I stopped being a SAHM almost 6 months ago and started my probation period in a new role. I loved it mainly because I loved my team and thought I'd made a few good friends in our small team.
Management got took over when I was almost 6 weeks in and I felt the atmosphere changed with the new manager and could feel her being very nit-picky with me and not warming to me.
Over the past month, there's been 3 occasions where I've ran 5 minutes late into work. I've informed them every time. I've been going through a difficult time in my personal life as I've been through a bad break up where police had to be involved with my ex becoming aggressive and I've been adjusting to being a single parent to a 2 year old- and although it's no excuse for bad punctuality, it did affect me and I felt completely unsupported at work. My performance at work stayed consistent and I was continuously learning new aspects of the job, though.
The other morning I rang to explain that my toddler was unwell and I just had to ensure he ate and felt a bit better before he went to nursery but I'd make up the missed half an hour whenever they needed me. I was completely snapped at down the phone. I asked the manager a few times during the day if she wanted to have a chat about it and she told me to wait until the end of the day. And right before my shift finished, they sacked me.

I completely understand lates are unacceptable but AIBU to think they could've at least told me in the morning so I could get home to my sick child/be a little more understanding to my circumstances and issue a final warning given that my performance at work was good?

And AIBU to be bothered that NO ONE even messaged to check I'm alright? They are people I spoke to out of work, we went on nights out, we spoke a lot about personal stuff in work, and I just got removed from the group chat and didn't receive a single message.

Please tell me I'm being unreasonable, I feel like I'm not but reading it back I'm worried I sound a bit entitled!

I haven’t read the full thread so someone may have said this already, but you have a potential claim for indirect sex discrimination if the reason they sacked you is the lateness due to childcare issues. I would contact ACAS and initiate an early conciliation process. It won’t get you the job back (although it doesn’t sound like a great place to work so maybe that’s not the end of the world), but you could potentially get some compensation. (I’m an employment lawyer btw).

- she didn’t have childcare issues, she wanted to make sure her child ate before leaving him at home (HOME) before returning him to work.

If she had childcare issues she should have made this clear (clearly not a case of sexual discrimination) however it was because she wanted her child to have a meal, even if that’s the case, could the person she left him at home with not fed him or the nursery?

She’s been there less than 6 months, she’s been late 4 times in that period on her probation!!

As you say you’ve not read the thread... I hope that you haven’t anyway to advise of the above

I would assume that an employment lawyer knows at least vaguely what they are talking about. Contact acas anyway OP, can't hurt. Worst that can happen is they'll tell you there's nothing you can do.

Anyway where did you get HOME from? She said nursery?

It's clearly not sexual discrimination for God's sake, both men and women raise children and are responsbible for them. It's not solely a female thing, don't be ridiculous. When my husband was late to work because he had to deal with our daughter, could he also have sued for sexual discrimination in your view?

Child care is the individuals responsibility, irrelevant of gender. it's the employees role to get themselves to work on time.and sort their child care.

@Bluntness100^^

It is generally accepted that the majority of childcare responsibilities fall to women. It is how it would be seen in a tribunal. Indirect gender discrimination under the Equality Act. IF this was for childcare problems. Not entirely sure it is, by the sounds of things. Union rep here.

As someone who works alongside in this field, it’s clearly not a case of sexual discrimination and I don’t need to be a lawyer to know this.

If OP had said, sack me so I can go and collect my son from nursery, instead of leaving it until the end of the shift...

She made reference if chucking him in a taxi with her but to where?

OP last comment in OP to think they could've at least told me in the morning so I could get home to my sick child

If my child was at nursery, I wouldn’t be going home.

“Half of today’s work activities could be automated by 2055.”
Less than 5% of occupations can be automated completely, but 60% could see 30% of their constituent activities automated.
According to the World Economic Forum’s Future of Jobs Survey, “a wide range of occupations will require a higher degree of cognitive abilities — such as creativity, logical reasoning and problem sensitivity — as part of their core skill set. More than half of these do not yet do so today, or only to a much smaller extent

This is a very different world to the one our schools and universities were designed to serve. Formal education came into being around the time of the first Industrial Revolution, and early schools were less about improving children’s minds than producing a punctual, obedient workforce for the new factories. As a conveyor belt for sorting, training and disciplining future workers, they were a kind of factory themselves.

So sorry most of these 'process' jobs like call centres will be fully automated in the future with machine learning coupled with artifical intelligence being able to do the decision making parts.

Sapphire387

Completely agree that childcare responsibilities normally fall to the women of the household,

In OP case she didn’t have childcare issues as the child had a placement in nursery, OP cited her lateness was because her child needed to eat... what if he didn’t eat... was that something the OP would
Have called in sick for?

Was the nursery incapable of trying to endure the child ate that day.

Being the primary care giver is exceptionally hard, it’s not easy, balancing childcare and work Is bloody hard work.

OP sorry to hear you lost your job and in such difficult situation, hope something good will come up and you will able to handle everything on your plate!

Not everyone have sympathy for your situation, especially those don't have kids themselves, they don't understand why we need to drop everything off for your child.

Couple of times I had to hand over urgent problem at work because I can't be late for kids pickup - I had already done more than my contract hours. I ended up being accused of dumping work to someone else by my new boss. Luckily, I was not in my probation period and my team like/need me so I am ok at the moment. It wouldn't had been an issue with my old boss (who is a grandfather himself). I still have lots of issues with the new boss, he bullied my ex colleague until he left, he was in his probation and couldn't hope with him.

Hope you find a job soon and most importantly, a understanding boss.

see it as a blessing OP. Probably far too rigid for what you need. It is a dent to the confidence, but sometimes what isn't for us is taken out of our hands, and only time will show you; you will look back and say phew!!

The thing is workplaces take a dim view of repeated lateness :unless you're a Londoner & at the mercy of signal problem delays (& suicides) where the whole team is stuck on different lines so they cant say anything & half of them can work from their laptop while stuck anyway. I'd start again when your personal issues are resolved. Being relatively new your colleagues weren't that emotionally invested yet, so don't take it to heart.

It is a hard knock to lose a job, but 3 lates and an absence in 6 months is not good form.
It sucks OP. I know you have a hard time. I personally think once you share a problem with a job, especially on probation it is a disaster.
They don't care about your well-being, they will judge, they'll also see it as a heads up for more absence.
It is over now, brush yourself off and try again. Good luck.

Most jobs are very rigid now.
Unless you find a family friendly company with flexi time. rare as hens teeth
You need strong childcare arrangements, It is unfortunate your relation broke down etc, maybe take a few months to put things in place.

They sound like awful people OP and sorry you were dismissed. Look at this as a blessing in disguise, fretting about getting to work on time each day with a little one would have eventually resulted in you getting stressed. There is the perfect job out there for you. I had to leave teaching for that reason, if my children were unwell lessons had to be cancelled. I am now office based and if the children are unwell I can work from home or if there are delays etc I have flexibility to get into the office by 10. Good luck OP

They sound like awful people OP and sorry you were dismissed. Look at this as a blessing in disguise, fretting about getting to work on time each day with a little one would have eventually resulted in you getting stressed. There is the perfect job out there for you. I had to leave teaching for that reason, if my children were unwell lessons had to be cancelled. I am now office based and if the children are unwell I can work from home or if there are delays etc I have flexibility to get into the office by 10. Good luck OP

I can't think of a single job I've had where anyone rocks up bang on start time. You usually need to be there at least 10 mins before start time for handovers or whatever.

I haven't had a single office job where it really matters what time everyone rocks up. Turn up, do a random approximation of a work day to get job done, go home.

Although on saying That, if you're due to start work at say nine, you should be there a good few mins before hand and be getting ready to start, not fronting up at five past.

This ☝️

OP I don't think 15 minutes of lateness over a month period is a problem, especially if you have called in. A good employer understands that employees are human beings and allow a reasonable bit of flexibility, especially since most organisations don't have a problem expecting staff to stay late occasionally

Absolutely agree. Unless it's a job where a service will be massively affected then a lot of these companies need a dose of compassion. It sounds like an office job role, one where 5mins would be easily made up in a lunch break.

Just to add, it sounds like the 3lates were in one month so I assume the OP had 5months of no lates. Her personal circumstances changed and she needed an adjustment period at a very stressful time. If the period where they can easily sack you goes on for 2years then they had PLENTY of time to decide if the OP was going to be unreliable after her personal life improved. I don't think the whole "well they want to get rid of people who are unreliable before it's too difficult" washes. I think they were being unreasonable not to consider someone's personal circumstance change. Yes a business is a business but you have to value your employees and employees going through terrible break ups with police involvement deserve a bit of support.

I was a single mum and a staff nurse in the 80s, zero tolerance from the workplace and was just hard, hard, hard.
I got into a routine where absolutely everything for the next day would be by the front door, clothes, uniform and food, things for the baby.
I'd have to get up at 5.30 and be out of the door by 6.15 no matter what.
Me and baby would go to bed at 8 or we'd be too knackered to function the next day, thank God he was a good baby.
I look back on those days and think sod that I should have spent a few years on benefits and stayed at home.

I think the issue was probably the frequency rather than the amount of time. So if OP had been late by 15 minutes once rather than 5 minutes late 3 times then it wouldn’t have been as bad. The final one due to making sure the child ate something (imagine that didn’t go down well) made 4 lates in a short time, which suggests persistent lateness and during probation they aren’t going to risk that continuing

Really interesting thread ,I have to be honest and say that I am irritated by latecoming ,and probably would have terminated your employment.
But this thread has got me thinking.I do offer flexible working ,but on an agreed basis,and expect excellent time keepingwithin it

Honestly, being late this many times during your probation period, when you should be on 'best behaviour' doesn't look good. Regardless of any wider conversation about flexible working.

@user1487194234

Do you need excellent timekeeping for the role or do you just like it full stop?

I work for a big corporation and nobody cares. People routinely come late and stay late or come early and leave early.
If there is a chilcare issue most managers will be flexible and understanding.

Recently a new manager on one of the sites started with the attitude of "you need to be at your desk 15 min before your start time", threatening contact with HR and starting disciplinary procedure. Interestingly he is frequently late himself. This kind of attitude has cost him HALF of his staff so far. HALF in a matter of months. They just found different jobs and left and good for them.