I've been sacked

[user910]

Two AIBU's in this I suppose.
I stopped being a SAHM almost 6 months ago and started my probation period in a new role. I loved it mainly because I loved my team and thought I'd made a few good friends in our small team.
Management got took over when I was almost 6 weeks in and I felt the atmosphere changed with the new manager and could feel her being very nit-picky with me and not warming to me.
Over the past month, there's been 3 occasions where I've ran 5 minutes late into work. I've informed them every time. I've been going through a difficult time in my personal life as I've been through a bad break up where police had to be involved with my ex becoming aggressive and I've been adjusting to being a single parent to a 2 year old- and although it's no excuse for bad punctuality, it did affect me and I felt completely unsupported at work. My performance at work stayed consistent and I was continuously learning new aspects of the job, though.
The other morning I rang to explain that my toddler was unwell and I just had to ensure he ate and felt a bit better before he went to nursery but I'd make up the missed half an hour whenever they needed me. I was completely snapped at down the phone. I asked the manager a few times during the day if she wanted to have a chat about it and she told me to wait until the end of the day. And right before my shift finished, they sacked me.

I completely understand lates are unacceptable but AIBU to think they could've at least told me in the morning so I could get home to my sick child/be a little more understanding to my circumstances and issue a final warning given that my performance at work was good?

And AIBU to be bothered that NO ONE even messaged to check I'm alright? They are people I spoke to out of work, we went on nights out, we spoke a lot about personal stuff in work, and I just got removed from the group chat and didn't receive a single message.

Please tell me I'm being unreasonable, I feel like I'm not but reading it back I'm worried I sound a bit entitled!

@Polarbearflavour strict in mine. Two incidents of lates and you lose your bonus which is often half my salary per month

I really couldn’t work anywhere that inflexible but I appreciate that not everybody has that choice.

@flamingoago Although theoretically true, proving discrimination, especially indirect discrimination is very difficult.

I agree with posters saying this is a lucky escape from a shit workplace.

I know it seems a bit unfair - that's because it is - but the best thing is finding something else - when you find a better job it will be obvious.

BTW I got fired for the first time nearly 2 years ago. I am convinced I was a victim of age and sex discrimination, but I got paid off to keep quiet. Not much reward for my nearly 5 years service, but I decided to take the cash and move on (I was lucky to get the payout). Now I am soooo much happier despite it smarting and me being worried at the time.

I’m so sorry OP but unfortunately most businesses won’t look too kindly on that much lateness in the first few weeks.
Saying you would be late so you could make sure your toddler had eaten wasn’t a great move either
Best of luck finding something else, I would leave this job off your CV if I was you

I’ve had many office jobs - and I can’t think of any with strict times - it’s all been flexitime.

Every job has a 'line' though. It's just that some lines are more clearly marked and enforced than others.

Even if you work on flexitime and core hours were (say) 10-4, if you repeatedly came in later than 10 or left earlier than 4 without warning, at some point you'd get called in about it; and potentially be fired too.

OP's employer works exactly the same, just with less flex in the matter. It's not a case that your employer wouldn't ultimately do what hers did.

I second the fact that there are places to work that are more family friendly than others and this doesn't sound like one that is. I found the public sector a good place to find part-time work and family-friendly policies. It's not particularly that you or they were being unreasonable - without knowing more about the nature of the job, we can't say - but you need a job that's the right fit for you and your family at the moment.

@Puzzledandpissedoff What kind of work do you do?

I think the employer really didn’t have an option sadly.

Hope you find something else soon

@Polarbearflavour in everything else they're incredibly lovely and will do anything but lateness isn't accepted. If you ring up and your dog is ill/stuck in traffic/child unwell then they're fine but if you did that constantly...
I was 2.5hrs late once and not a word was said I overslept because I'm never late

BuzzShitbagBobbly - well yes, every job has a line. I’m just saying that in many workplaces, one doesn’t need to arrive bang on 09:00 and leave at 17:01.

Core times are a little different! Having to arrive at work before 10:00 isn’t really difficult.

employers like this tend to have a high staff turnover and miss out on keeping staff that will be loyal and productive in the long term

I must admit that's not been my experience - on the whole, the "loyal and productive" staff have been those who demonstrated reliability right from the word go

It's true my few failures were loud in claiming they'd "give so much more" if they could just have such-and-such right from the start, but sadly that's rarely how it turned out

If an employee of mine kept on turning up late for work whilst on a probation period and thought it reasonable to bring her personal life into work, indeed even expecting moral and emotional support for her personal problems then I would likely sack her too.

You are there to do a job, within the agreed hours and not treat work or your colleagues like your own personal support team for matters unrelated to your job.

Sorry that you have been sacked but it sounds like it wasn't the right place for you. You clearly need to work somewhere with a bit more flexibility.

@badlydrawnperson forgive me not being too specific as it's a bit outing, but I recruited in a specialist healthcare role (and for context, it wasn't one where a few minutes' lateness would matter)

The place I worked that would sack people like this, had an incredibly high turnover of staff. Because even though I was never late, I knew that any mistake could lead to being sacked, which was stressful. And frankly it was horrible coming into work on Monday and there would be yet another new member of staff there, as the old one had left or been sacked.

I am really sorry but from an employers perspective you are unreliable. That’s a lot of lates whilst on probation period. I understand you have a lot on and do feel for you but you need to take responsibility to get to work on time in spite of these things in your personal life.

I am speaking as someone who has a child with complex additional needs and must be handed over to a staff member at school, another who suffers frequent breathing problems and is often up through the night and am pregnant again. I simply can’t be late for work as it would have a knock on effect on my colleagues. Most employers will give you leeway once but not as often as you have been late in the first few months. What you have to remember is that yes it’s only 5 minutes here and there but if adds up.

Your colleagues probably don’t want involved or don’t know you have been sacked. Legally an employer can’t disclose that other than say you are no longer working for us but how that came about shouldn’t be discussed.

Also the place I worked expected staff to stay over and complete work if it was not finished. You were not paid extra for this.

I've worked somewhere where there was a lot of scrutiny over time and never again, it was petty and unnecessary and just a way of exerting control. This is the thing - in 9/10 jobs there is absolutely no need for fuss if someone is there 5 minutes late. My boss couldn't care less if I came in an hour earlier or later because he gets that it's about output, not bums on seats.

I'm really sorry OP, they could have at least given you a warning first

@Puzzledandpissedoff Thanks I realised after I asked that it was a bit of an intrusive question.

Oh gosh I feel for you, think of it as a blessing and move into an industry of workplace that is more flexible. I am fortunate enough to be in a company that is pivoting more to flexible working and we are now judged on our work and not being present in the office and whether I am at my desk exactly on time with flexibility to work at least 2 days from home a week.

My sister went back to work a few months ago after her first and they will only allow one working from home day. I just can't even fathom working for a company that is so inflexible especially where work required to be done is non shift work. Companies will need to start being more flexible because generations today are now looking for that type of culture and companies will lose out on the best talent.

I think the employer really didn’t have an option sadly.

I strongly disagree.

We run our own business, and you would not have been sacked for this. I don't understand why businesses treat employees like this.
I wish you the very best of luck in the future- and hope that you find somewhere a bit more understanding and flexible.

It's work, not a family, OP. They don't owe you anything but wages for doing a good job or your work to a good standard. And especially not support for home problems, that is your home life, while it's nice some companies are more caring, they don't have to support you with it. Sorry 💐

Hate companies that treat employees like children. You weren’t lounging around in bed you had issues with your child.

Companies that treat employees like adults and offer flexibility (if possible) will have harder working and loyal people.

It won’t seem like it now but you are better off out of it and finding something more flexible and family friendly.

Sorry PerfectPeony2 how is it disgusting??
It is an employees responsibility to get to work on time and being late four times (and one of these by an hour) in the previous month is not acceptable. What would happen if every employee decided it was okay to be late? There may be others, who have as good a reason as the op has to be late, but manage because that’s what employees have to do!