I've been sacked

[user910]

Two AIBU's in this I suppose.
I stopped being a SAHM almost 6 months ago and started my probation period in a new role. I loved it mainly because I loved my team and thought I'd made a few good friends in our small team.
Management got took over when I was almost 6 weeks in and I felt the atmosphere changed with the new manager and could feel her being very nit-picky with me and not warming to me.
Over the past month, there's been 3 occasions where I've ran 5 minutes late into work. I've informed them every time. I've been going through a difficult time in my personal life as I've been through a bad break up where police had to be involved with my ex becoming aggressive and I've been adjusting to being a single parent to a 2 year old- and although it's no excuse for bad punctuality, it did affect me and I felt completely unsupported at work. My performance at work stayed consistent and I was continuously learning new aspects of the job, though.
The other morning I rang to explain that my toddler was unwell and I just had to ensure he ate and felt a bit better before he went to nursery but I'd make up the missed half an hour whenever they needed me. I was completely snapped at down the phone. I asked the manager a few times during the day if she wanted to have a chat about it and she told me to wait until the end of the day. And right before my shift finished, they sacked me.

I completely understand lates are unacceptable but AIBU to think they could've at least told me in the morning so I could get home to my sick child/be a little more understanding to my circumstances and issue a final warning given that my performance at work was good?

And AIBU to be bothered that NO ONE even messaged to check I'm alright? They are people I spoke to out of work, we went on nights out, we spoke a lot about personal stuff in work, and I just got removed from the group chat and didn't receive a single message.

Please tell me I'm being unreasonable, I feel like I'm not but reading it back I'm worried I sound a bit entitled!

It is horrible and I sincerely hope you find a new job soon but they do have fair grounds to let you go I’m afraid... Punctuality is extremely important in many lines of work.

It just sounds as though you need to find more flexible family friendly work which is difficult, I know.

Hi OP,
Read this about “time off for dependents”. It seems to be a legal right from day one and you rang and told them this was the reason for your lateness.

Consider putting in a grievance - suggest you will go to tribunal for unfair dismissal?

m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=3235

I agree with the pp on indirect sex discrimination. You wouldn’t win the case but it is arguable, which is a legal risk for them. Also you may want to argue that you were dismissed for asserting a statutory right to take time off for dependants. I would not run either argument to a Tribunal if I was you but unless they have give you a right of appeal, I would contact ACAS and tell them that you are planning on pursuing a claim and see if you can get a settlement. This is about getting your confidence back, asserting yourself and hopefully getting a little bit of money to live on. It also might make them think twice about treating someone shittily again

OP I'm sorry this has happened. 💐
As much as I understand you have a lot going on, to a new employer whilst in your probation period, it doesn't look great. It doesn't really help when your lateness is mentioned using other people's lateness as justification. If they're not in their probation period, then it means the repercussions are far less. It might have been better to just accept them chastising you over your lateness and apologised. I get life happens but you say your break up hasn't effected your work, but it has if you've not been punctual and in probation. Maybe this manager has taken a dislike to you and that isn't fair. But they are in a strong position to just get rid of you if they aren't happy and don't have to give huge explanation for that unfortunately. Hopefully you'll find a more understanding and flexibible job soon.

Wishing you lots of luck!

Puzzledandpissedoff

You don't have to be convinved because the shit is happening. The enitre public sector is moving to flexible working and smarter working. Huge nubmers of private companies are doing it or have already done it. Granted there will be some lines of work where it won't work but the majority can.

If your output is delivered to time and quality and I complete my agreed hours it doesn't matter if I walk into work at 8.30am or 9.30am It wouldn't matter if I took between 3pm-4pm to pick up my child and did the extra hour earlier or later in the day. So long as I am reachable, work is delivered on time to the standard required what is the big issue. Flexible working allows healthier work life balances and increased producitivity because staff are less stressed and no longer having to fight so much to juggle everything.

My employer does not care when I do my hours, as long as I do them and attend meetings.
I hate employers who are like yours were OP. Because the truth is if you don't have a meeting, then it does not matter if you get in at 9.05 and leave at 5.05 or get in at 9 and leave at 5pm. I know it does matter in some jobs, but not an office job. This is just about exerting authority over employees.

I really feel for you OP, you have learnt a lesson in a most unpleasant way, you felt that you fitted in great and then this happened.
They let you feel secure then just sacked you after a short time at work. Awful.
You must be feeling pretty grim right now and you must have lost your confidence.
This has happened to me twice and now I trust nobody, I care about nobody at work now, I just turn up and do the job I'm paid for, I'm pleasant superficially and then I go home.
I have learnt by experience that nobody gives a toss about me.
You just can't judge a workplace until you have been there for a while so it's best to start out following all the rules, not being too friendly with anyone, not assuming they are on your side and being on time everyday of your probation period and thereafter do your best.
The majority of my jobs have been fine and nobody minds if you get stuck in traffic or whatever but you have to keep telling yourself this is work so you don't get complacent, my current employer is amazing but I'm still cautious.
I've had a few utterly toxic jobs that have sapped my will to live, my confidence and made me feel worthless. Those types of jobs are not worth your while.
I had a boss who rung me at 1 minute to 5.30 daily with some nonsense just to check I hadn't gone home 1 minute early even though I regularly worked all the way through lunch. It wears you down badly when you get someone like that.
Don't let this make you miserable or feel bad about yourself, we all learn by experience and often by bad experience, you will be ok and you'll find another job.

Typically there should still be a notice period when On probation, a week, so check k your contract. Make sure you get any leave accrued paid,

I’m so sorry OP. Anybody with even a shred of decency would have cut you the small amount of slack you needed in these circumstances. I hope you find something better, where the people are more understanding.

If an employee of mine kept on turning up late for work whilst on a probation period and thought it reasonable to bring her personal life into work, indeed even expecting moral and emotional support for her personal problems then I would likely sack her too

You are there to do a job, within the agreed hours and not treat work or your colleagues like your own personal support team for matters unrelated to your job

Thank you for writing this.

My former Dil thought thought her place of employment was for making friends and unloading her problems. She never worked past the 90 day mark. She just didn't get what being employed actually meant.

Furthermore, she been thought her husband should stand up to his employer when they ordered him to go places or work 'late'. "Show them who's boss" she said, lol his employer was the U.S. military.

My house burned down Friday morning and I was back at work Monday morning. I was a single parent at the time.

Learn your lesson from this. Your place of employment is not a social club. Leave your personal issues at home and come hell or high water don't be late for work again.

I think a lot of people are assuming everyone works in an office where being late doesn’t matter. The reality is plenty. Of jobs rely on someone being there when they are due to start. Care assistants can’t just take half an hour in the morning and their boss won’t care because they can make up the time later. It means vulnerable people left without breakfast or assistance getting out of bed or getting washed. Retail staff coming in half an hour late could mean the shop not opening for half an hour (this was me in my last employed job- I was a key holder despite being just a shop assistant and regularly opened up and worked alone) they can’t stay open half an hour later to make up because the shopping centre shuts down at 6pm. If a receptionist is half an hour late who takes all the calls, makes the apointments etc? They can’t stay half an hour later to make up because the office is shut and nobody is ringing to make an appointment at 5:25. They already called at 9:15 and got no answer.

There are some really holier than thou people posting here! I agree with what madcatladyforever and cyclingmad have said!

And the person who posted that their house burned down and they were back at work on Monday...do you want a medal?

I’ve generally worked flexible hours including one day a week WFH and never been pulled up over being late etc.

Teachers can’t be ‘just 5 mins late’ or make up their time, with some jobs you have to show up on time!

I think we can all agree that some jobs such as teaching, care work, transport, retail etc require prompt arrival times. Many office jobs do not. 🙄

Harsh words from AmeriAnn, but do sort of agree.

Think hard, OP, about quite how much talking about personal stuff you did at work. Were you telling them all about your ex and childcare problems etc etc? You may have mistaken your colleagues for an instant group of friends and confidants whereas they might have been a bit annoyed at your lateness and excuses (even if genuine).

AmeriAnn you and the other poster are such old dinosaur im glad your not my line manager if thats your thinking.

You refuse to move with the times.

New research shows that 83% of workers around the world would turn down a job that didn’t offer flexible working
Over half (54%) of respondents say that having a choice of work location is more important to them than working for a prestigious company
As a result, in the past ten years, 85% of businesses have introduced a flexible workspace policy

“Last year our Global Workspace Survey talked about reaching a tipping point, but what we are seeing now is that flexible working is considered by many to be the new norm for any business that is serious about productivity, agility and winning the war for top talent. Indeed, half of all our respondents claim to work outside their main office location for at least half of the week.

Businesses around the world are facing multiple challenges including ensuring that their business is agile enough to adapt to change. Our research shows that businesses that haven’t already considered the financial and strategic benefits of flexible workspace need to do so now. Otherwise, they face being seen as out of touch, both with their competitors and with the demands of the modern workforce on what constitutes a great day at work, which means losing out on the best talent.

So there you have it global research telling you the world is shifting and has already shifted and its companies and behaviours such as the ones you support that will lose out big time.

Do we know that OPs job was an office job that could be done flexibly?

OP, don't look at it as being sacked. It just didn't work out - that's the point of probation. You weren't right for them, they weren't right for you.

Well done on getting back to work. Now get your head down and apply for other roles. Once you get a job - and you will - then do whatever it takes to meet the requirements while in the probation period. It is a real red flag when a new recruit has several instances of lateness and absence and personal drama.

redspider1 noone is saying all jobs can be made flexible but the majority can be. Of course teaching, hospitals, ambluance crew, police etc. may not be able to offer such flexible workign or arrangements will be different e.g. your start and end times won't change but you can do flexible working through compressed hours (longer shifts) over 4days instead of 5; job sharing etc. so many more options available.

Just want to say how sorry I am for you. You are going through a nasty breakup and you must feel so sad about losing your job and your work friends on top. Obviously all work places are different. I am a very tolerant Manager and take people’s personal situations into account if they work hard, are productive and care about the job. I would have been completely understanding about the situation you described. Hope you find a better place to work soon and that you have support from other family and friends during this difficult time.

Unfortunately whatever personal problems you have, it's not your employers problem - harsh as that is. Timekeeping does depend somewhat on your job, mine doesn't really matter but for others being late is inconveniencing other people or loosing money even. Saying you will make up time isn't always the point.

Perhaps find a role in an organisation that can be flexible.

SCREAMS HYSTERICALLY!!!!

We don't know if OP is a filing clerk where five minutes is neither here nor there or a receptionist where it often does.

And, cyclingmad, it is of no import whether 100% of businesses are flexible and jolly nice accommodating places to work, if someone is repeatedly late in their probation period it kinds of sets alarm bells ringing. And I rather think that the most flexible of workplaces are possibly the most inflexible about spending time chewing the fat with colleagues about your personal life.

*If an employee of mine kept on turning up late for work whilst on a probation period and thought it reasonable to bring her personal life into work, indeed even expecting moral and emotional support for her personal problems then I would likely sack her too

You are there to do a job, within the agreed hours and not treat work or your colleagues like your own personal support team for matters unrelated to your job*

Wow...
People aren't robots you know?
Would absolutely hate to work for a boss with that kind of attitude.

Things aren't black and white, you know. I'm sure no boss bans people from having a chat. But then no boss surely would tolerate people gassing all day.

What is the grey area is a boss possibly getting the hump about a new employee being a bit too chatty and share-y and turning up late a few times. It is cumulative.

Sounds like it's not the right workplace for you. They clearly can't accommodate your family needs. I know this is rubbish but possiblt for the best longer term.