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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to get my 14 year old on the Pill.

236 replies

Campervanlife4me · 16/05/2019 16:30

She has had a boyfriend for 6 months now and is a little bit irresponsible at times. She's lovely and kind but just doesn't always think things through. She asked me if she could go on the pill because of her periods. I talked to her about it and about being too young to have sex and everything else that comes with it, but then as I thought about it later, I thought that maybe it would be more sensible for her to be on the pill than end up having an unwanted pregnancy. I can't be with her all the time to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid, so would I be unreasonable to agree to letting her go on the pill to be safe?

OP posts:
Teddybear45 · 16/05/2019 16:31

Makes sense to me if she’s too irresponsible to use barrier protection.

Samind · 16/05/2019 16:32

I think that's sensible. You cannot watch them all the time.

I snuck out! Have used morning after pill aswell. Think if that's what's going to prevent teen pregnancy then go for it. Have you discussed condoms and stds?

You sound like a lovely mum and I think you know your daughter better than anyone.

kaytee87 · 16/05/2019 16:32

You don't actually have to agree, she could just go to the doctor and get it herself. If she's going to be having sex then she needs to know the importance of condoms as well.

NoSauce · 16/05/2019 16:33

What’s the issue with her periods?

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 16/05/2019 16:33

What about the injection? Might be better than the pill.

AuntieMarys · 16/05/2019 16:34

And sit her down for a chat about responsibility and consequences. If she did get pregnant has she considered the implications?

FannyFeatures · 16/05/2019 16:36

My Mum did the same for me at 14.

We spoke about it not being an incentive to have sex but as an understanding that I was growing up and had to take responsibility for my own actions if I chose to have sex and also of the importance of barrier contraceptives as well because the pill doesn't protect from STI's.

CherryPavlova · 16/05/2019 16:36

An implant might be better.

BlueCornishPixie · 16/05/2019 16:36

I think if she's going to have sex she's going to have sex. And whether you put her on the pill or not she will do it, the pill will only prevent pregnancy.

And my awful teenage periods improved massively when I went on the pill, so definitely focus on the period benefits if you are going to do it.

BlueCornishPixie · 16/05/2019 16:39

Also my mum put me on the pill at 15 when I had a bf, it didn't encourage me to have sex at all. But it did let me know that I could trust my mum and talk to her if I needed to. And I think that's so important when teens start to think about having sex.

Fiveredbricks · 16/05/2019 16:40

Implant. A 14yr old generally may not take the pill reliably.

rabbitheadlights · 16/05/2019 16:41

Wow congrats OP I hope my daughter will come to me with stuff like this a lot of girls wouldn't (even under the guise of it being for her period). I would agree and make sure to have a chat about STD's etc.

Pardonwhat · 16/05/2019 16:43

She could go and access contraception with or without your blessing but I think it’s very important that she has your support. I second whether the injection or implant may be better with her age.

PregnantSea · 16/05/2019 16:43

She can go and get the pill without you. I did at 14. The nurses/doctors don't have a duty to inform the parents in these sorts of cases.

Also, if she decides she wants to have sex then she will go ahead and do it, whether or not she's on the pill. So it seems daft to try and stop her from going on the pill.

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 16/05/2019 16:44

The Pill won't protect her from STDs and can fail if she has a tummy upset so I think you still need to push the 'no condom no sex' line with her.

Personally I am dubious about the fact that it is considered the norm for girls and women to mess around with their hormones, but that is a different issue.

Amammi · 16/05/2019 16:44

If she’s not responsible will she be ok remembering to take her pill daily? Other contraceptive methods may suit her better.

Heathcliff27 · 16/05/2019 16:44

Not U at all but as prev posters i would be pushing for implant or injection

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 16/05/2019 16:45

I'd go for implant or injection

Seniorschoolmum · 16/05/2019 16:45

The pill requires her to take it on time. Would the implant be more reliable?

JacquesHammer · 16/05/2019 16:47

I’m currently in discussion with the GP regarding the pill for my DD for her periods, she is 13 in autumn.

Can you guarantee she will remember the pill?

Ribeebie · 16/05/2019 16:50

Not U at all. I agree that it would be worth looking at an implant though - teenagers often forget to take the pill reliably. Long acting contraception is better for everyone's peace of mind! Still good to chat to her Re condoms and STDs too.

springgreensunshine · 16/05/2019 16:54

Another vote for implant or injection here. Why would you take the risk of teenage pregnancy otherwise? In an ideal world all girls would be sensible and never have sex without a condom and never fall for old wives tales about having sex standing up bring safe and no-one will ever get pregnant the first time. But this is the real world. You are doing the right thing, absolutely.

Aquamarine1029 · 16/05/2019 16:56

She is even capable enough to remember to take a pill every day?

NurseButtercup · 16/05/2019 16:58

I'd go for implant or injection

I agree with this and also suggest having conversation about STD's and give her some condoms.

Chouetted · 16/05/2019 17:02

There are pills that don't rely on you taking it exactly on time - if she wants to go on it, then she'll hopefully be more motivated to work out how to remember.

Remind her not to use it as her only method of contraception. Condoms are shockingly ineffective if used by incompetent people (ie, teenagers).

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