AIBU to get my 14 year old on the Pill.

[Campervanlife4me]

She has had a boyfriend for 6 months now and is a little bit irresponsible at times. She's lovely and kind but just doesn't always think things through. She asked me if she could go on the pill because of her periods. I talked to her about it and about being too young to have sex and everything else that comes with it, but then as I thought about it later, I thought that maybe it would be more sensible for her to be on the pill than end up having an unwanted pregnancy. I can't be with her all the time to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid, so would I be unreasonable to agree to letting her go on the pill to be safe?

Iv never known anyone to get on well with the implant

That is just not true. Most women like it.

Emmm yes it is in my case hence why I said IV NEVER KNOWN. I wasn’t speaking for people you know I’m speaking for people I know

Implant messed me up. I went from being a healthy teenager to a really overweight, unhappy one with zero sex drive. Awful.

I really dont know what issues I've got

Unpleasant attitude to women, HTH

‘Easy’ daughter???

What a vile attitude to have about your own child. And I say that as someone who would not just think ‘oh, all 14 year olds are going to be having sex’ at all.

What weeping willow said! Quite right.

@sonlypuppyfat. That is a disgusting thing to say. Penpals and rabbits are all well and good but this is real life. The OP asked for advice on contraception for her daughter not judgement. What would you do if your daughter asked to go on contraception within the next 6 months?

Also who ever was talking about implants working well. It nearly destroyed me! I'm sensitive to hormones anyway but it was awful, weight gain, no libido, two bleeds a month, serious mood swings etc so I had to get it out.

I'm absolutely shocked that people thinking that children having sex is a perfectly normal thing and that pumping them full of hormones is "fine" . No wonder so many men have so little respect for women

This has got nothing to do with respect, other than the lack you show for women and girls.

This is about ensuring that a 14 year old, who sounds like she has a very open and honest relationship with her mother, is prepared, should she go down this route. I agree that it is not a route I would be encouraging at all, but equally it is very foolish not to prepare a teen.

I also agree that I have huge reservations about all these calls to get this child onto hormonal medication.

But your descriptions of girls as 'easy' and 'giving themselves away' is extremely misogynistic and you are being rightly called out on that.

I'm pretty shocked at your narrow minded disgusting views.

The daughter has a boyfriend. Has asked to go contraceptives for her periods and mother thinks it sort of kills two birds one stone. The majority of us agree and include the STD and condom talk. Op has already stated her daughter will do things without thinking them through. So this is the best way of preventing an unwanted pregnancy.

If you assume your child is going to be naive all her life, then you're in trouble. Talking about these things doesn't plant seeds of intention. It leaves communication open so she's able to make a sensible decision. This is empowering for women.

You're not a very nice person if you correlate young women using contraception as a reason for men to treat them shitty.

My 15 year old asked me what contraception would suit her. She's forgetful so I knew the pill wouldn't do her any good. She didn't like the thought of the implant so I suggested the depo injection. It made her depressed and really hormonal after the first go. She stuck it it out and after the second injection was completely fine and has no periods so win win.

Teenagers have sex, pretending they don't is unhelpful. She has a boyfriend, they have been together a while, it's a possibility. Yes I'd encourage the pill.
I'm disgusted that someone thinks it's ok to say "no wonder so many men have so little respect for women", so sex is now an issue for women only????? Respect?? I had sex at a young age, we loved each other and we stayed together for years after, we wanted to, exploring sexuality isn't disrespectful And WHY would it be disrespectful to women and not men?
Yes you need to talk about std and not feeling pressured and how others at school may find out also how will she feel if they break up after etc.
It also it needs to stay where you can check it's being taken daily and explain that it's for her skin you are not saying you would be happy for her starting to have sex yet.

Wow, nice to see misogyny is still live and kicking 🙄

Young women taking control of their bodies does not mean they are "easy", speaking openly with your child doesn't mean you are pushing them into having sex and NOTHING excuses the mistreatment and misogynistic views that women have forced upon them.

Your views are far more damaging to your supposedly naive and innocent daughter than anything I've seen shared on here.

Seems sensible to me but maybe the implant would be better unless you watch her take it everyday.

The pill can have really horrible side effects and it also has a high failure rate. It is potobably a good idea to sort out some contraception but choose one that has less margin for user error an a lower dose of hormones/no hormones.

Please..if you do (or anyone else considering it)

Get her tested for Factor V Leiden. More common than you think. Clotting issue with your blood. Going on the pill could literally kill me so thank christ my Mum thought to get me tested. (also causes miscarriages)

It's all responsible but you have to consider that your child may have a reaction to what you put into them.

sonly
I don’t agree with your initial posts and “giving it away”. However I do agree about young girls pumping themselves full of hormones.

It's probably something for another thread but I find the prevailing narrative that women will spend damn near a lifetime on hormones pretty alarming. Not something that I bet most men would be rushing to do. I would like to see the normalization of this challenged more.

It's sensible as a precaution and a lot of teens like the way the pill regulates their periods. I would also suggest buying condoms and letting her know where they are - I'm not condoning underage sex but if they are doing it anyway, it's essential they are safe. My dd went on the pill at 16 and I think all of the girls in her boarding house are too so they can control their cycles for sports events etc.

My DD is temporarily Inthe pill so she doesn't have the problems I had during GCSEs.She will stay on it for a while as she is on the Citizenship program.
We'll review what happens then but she has no intention of having sex anytime soon.

This doesn't sit well with me. I'm speaking as someone who lost their virginity young. Personally I think girls should be encouraged to hold onto their virginity as long as possible and rather than putting them on the pill giving them skills to say no and not be manipulated into sex. Personally I think it's far too young, they shouldn't be having sex before 18.

I would not be encouraging my daughter to take hormonal contraception unless it was a possible answer to some existing health issues such as painful periods. There is ample evidence now that hormonal contraception is associated with increased risk of depression, anxiety, loss of libido and all sorts of other nasty stuff. Yes, the majority of women probably do not experience these side effects, but a significant minority do. Increased rates of depression and anxiety in teenage girls are in the news all the time. I am convinced that this is partially due to the use of hormonal contraception. I bet contraception-caused mental health issues in teenage girls are often dismissed as puberty-related hormonal angst.

If you are prepared to take this risk, I would watch your daughter very carefully for possible side effects and get her off the hormones if any are spotted.

Generally, however, I feel much more comfortable with barrier contraception - it protects against STDs, does not mess with your body and mind, and allows a woman to feel how her body works naturally and learn about it.

And the concern that the pill will encourage a girl to have sex is unfounded. If anything, it may discourage sexual activity because it kills sex drive in many women.

I have a 14 year old who's now on month 3 of taking the pill. It's helped hugely with her periods which were painful, heavy and too regular before starting it. She had an alarm set on her mobile and takes it like clockwork.

We've spoken about consent, condoms and stis/stds. She isn't on the pill for pregnancy reasons but for her periods. But I also don't live under a rock and know there's always a chance sex may occur. So we've had a very in-depth conversation about that. As should ever parent of teens. Simply thinking it won't happen is worse than addressing it.

I'm absolutely shocked that people thinking that children having sex is a perfectly normal thing and that pumping them full of hormones is "fine" . No wonder so many men have so little respect for women

Oh bullshit. Yet again women get the blame for men’s behaviour.

See people like you sit there in your ivory tower smugly patting yourself on the back at your stellar parenting. Do you honestly think your “daughters” will be honest with you given your views....?

Anyone who correlates morality and contraception simply isn’t very bright.

Definitely put her on long term contraception, not the pill. If she has a boyfriend already and is asking about it, then you need to focus on risk minimisation. Yes she needs to be using condoms but if she falls pregnant it's all on her (and you) to deal with the fallout. Implant or injection would be the way to go right now.

We all know how some men behave, and it's our job to teach our daughters some morals. I may not be so bright that I've not bought up daughters that think so little of themselves