Did I ruin brother's wedding?

[Saavhi]

Last week my brother had a small gathering following his registration wedding (that I was not invited to- only parents and children attended). The venue where they had a sit-down meal was at the top of a very long, winding road. Unfortunately, this caused me to be sick right outside the hotel. Due to the state I was in there was no way I could go in. My half-brother jumped out and explained the situation. My dp and I found somewhere for me to collect myself out as I was still feeling poorly. I rang later in the day to apologise for my absence/wish them well.

On Sunday at my parent's house, my SIL told me I ruined "the most important day of her life" (imo not true as there will be a much larger destination wedding in July). We're not at all close and she doesn't appear to like me. I have heard her call me lazy for being a SAHM. I told her she was being ridiculous and to please move on. I said that I'm not going to keep apologising for something that was beyond my control.

They are offended that dp did not attend or ring (he was parking the car when my half-brother had them on the phone).

AIBU?

I guess people are just playing devil's advocate. It's obviously very unusual for a sober person to throw up all over themselves due to travel sickness. My youngest is often travel sick and we don't all go home every time! Normally even a child only gets a bit of sick on themselves and yes it can be wiped off.

letsgohooray and AmICrazyorWhat2 have made good summaries.. I don't understand why people are giving the OP such a hard time.
My youngest used to be car sick and often felt ill for hours afterwards.
Even a small puke and wee would stink and stain clothes, and no one in their right mind would want to then go into a small resturant and start eating a large celebratory meal. It would put the people around her off eating anything.
Even if she went home to shower and change needing two more trips back and forth along the winding bumpy road that made her puke in the first place, the event could be over before she got back again.
Her brother got out , explained and apologised on OP's behalf. I don't see what else you could have done OP.
I wondered if SIL was upset because you said you were sick right outside the hotel and she felt embarrassed about that? Or she felt it was a judgement on her for choosing a hard to access venue? Both silly reasons to be unkind., you had no control over the situation. Since you live some distance from her, it will hopefully all die down before you see her again.

Ok @TeaStory . I'll say this very slowly. I'm with the OP. She clearly couldn't go to the reception. It's a horrible situation. Couldn't be helped. SIL is being a bridezilla or whatever. However, it IS pretty unusual to have such a sudden, explosive and devastating bout of car sickness. I'm merely suggesting that the SIL ( not me, you understand) may have been suspicious under the circumstances. Hence the upping of psycho-bride stakes. Ok?

I was handed a carrier bag whilst dp found a safe place to pull over. My hair was loose.

To all the naysayers
Some Adults get travel sick
Some Adults get so travel sick they get vomit on themselves
Some Adults get so travel sick they feel awful for the rest of the day

As one of those adults, I take many precautions, but I can’t prevent it entirely. I once threw up so much on a flight to a wedding that we rented a car and drove home because we now knew that route was serviced by a smaller jet than normal. I was miserable for the first 24 hours of wedding events.

@Paddington68. She didn't gate crash the wedding. She was invited to a small post wedding reception but was ill just before she got there.

It would take about 90 minutes to drive home.

I’m not stupid thanks @Double0FeckingBollocks, and I don’t think the OP’s experience was all that unusual. SIL’s “suspicion” is her own problem and she has no cause to be so nasty to OP.

I once had diarrhoea at a wedding. I obviously had a bit of warning, so left quietly and quickly, and called my DH to explain why I had gone home. The bride and groom never even noticed and when they did realise later, only cared that I was ok. Your SIL is BU.

I think the issue is the fact the pair of you obviously hate each other in the first place and on top of that something incredibly unusual happened right on her wedding day so she probably doesn't believe that you were literally sick all over yourself just as you arrived. She probably thinks you're either exaggerating or you were drunk/hungover which would explain how you were so covered in sick.

I kind of feel like there may be a back story.

Poor you! That sounds horrible. I had to rush out of a wedding having picked up a projectile vomiting bug from dd. I made it to the loos but still got some vom on my shoes and skirt. DH dropped me home en route to the reception and explained to the bride & groom. They couldn’t have been nicer even though they’d pre-paid for my meal.

Your SIL sounds like a nasty cow. YADNBU.

Is it that unusual for an adult to get travel sick? I have been travel sick before after a long day out. As I've got older I get the odd migraine which can cause it too. And don't talk to me about coaches, they always make me feel.sick.

Unless you’d got absolutely blotted and puked up everywhere you SIL is being a twat.

My sister gets travel sickness and many a time we’ve had to pull over for her to puke at the side if the road. There really is no warning, so OP you gave my sympathies

@TooManyPaws - it's not vomiting on cue but if I feel like I might vomit it's pull over time before it happens

@Saavhi - carrier bags are fairly large how on earth did you miss?

@TeaStory I totally agree that the SIL's suspicion is her own problem and there was no need to be nasty. You appear to be willfully misinterpreting me, so I will leave it there. Thanks for your input.

I just think there's maybe a bit more too it.

carrier bags are fairly large how on earth did you miss?

It was one of those flimsy striped bags you get from a corner shop. I did my best.

The vomiting was pretty forceful which gave me a decent headache.

Is it that unusual for an adult to get travel sick?

I think it's very unusual to be sick all over yourself. A few members of my family suffer terribly with travel sickness but have always managed to puke on the floor and wouldn't normally be irrecoverably covered in sick. Not saying OP is lying just that it's very unusual.

My SIL have never argued before.

YANBU

Who is SIL marrying next time? You say she has another wedding planned

If she is rude again tell her to fuck off.

Tempted to screenshot the road we were on, dp was looking for a place to pull over when I threw up. I had been "suppressing" it whilst on the country roads(national speed limit I think) leading up to the hotel.

Trust me, if I could have avoided vomiting and pissing myself in front of my dp and brother (who will rib for a long time to come) I would have. I would never voluntarily be sick on the most expensive piece of clothing I own.

If you’d really wanted to join then you would have.

I think you managed to make a presence even though you wasn’t there .....

Defo game on for you and sil

If you’d really wanted to join then you would have.

How? The OP said she had sick down her clothes and hair. Yeah she could have turned up, covered in vomit I suppose.

This is the weirdest thread ever. Op alludes to car sickness (windy roads don’t tend to affect people unless they are car sick), and then vomits so violently that she soils herself andvomits over herself. That’s bizarre in itself, but then refusing to go into the event you have spent 90 mins driving to is even odder. Of course they were pissed off, it sounds entirely unbelievable. Yo should have waited for it to pass, popped to the loos to freshen up and then stuck it out. Not rocking up is just rude.