Did I ruin brother's wedding?

[Saavhi]

Last week my brother had a small gathering following his registration wedding (that I was not invited to- only parents and children attended). The venue where they had a sit-down meal was at the top of a very long, winding road. Unfortunately, this caused me to be sick right outside the hotel. Due to the state I was in there was no way I could go in. My half-brother jumped out and explained the situation. My dp and I found somewhere for me to collect myself out as I was still feeling poorly. I rang later in the day to apologise for my absence/wish them well.

On Sunday at my parent's house, my SIL told me I ruined "the most important day of her life" (imo not true as there will be a much larger destination wedding in July). We're not at all close and she doesn't appear to like me. I have heard her call me lazy for being a SAHM. I told her she was being ridiculous and to please move on. I said that I'm not going to keep apologising for something that was beyond my control.

They are offended that dp did not attend or ring (he was parking the car when my half-brother had them on the phone).

AIBU?

You wernt invited to the gathering yet turned up and vomited. So why did someone have to apologize for your absence??? This dosnt make sense.

You wernt invited to the gathering yet turned up and vomited. So why did someone have to apologize for your absence??? This dosnt make sense.

Or you could learn to read

Well I get why you didn't go if I was the bride I would be glad I have a habit of joining in when people vomit

Are people's lives that boring and empty that someone puking is such a monumental event to steal the lime light from a couple that just got married?

DarlingNikita but the ops dp drove her to a retail centre a few miles away to get new clothes, so new clean clothes were what she needed to feel better apparently. Personally l would want a shower and wash hair before l even thought of wanting to put new clothes on hence my suggestion, you never know some hotel staff are very helpful in these situations and may have sorted her with a shower, towels and a bathrobe whilst hubby went for clean/new clothes. Ime l've seen children's clothes, a man's shirt in one case being whisked away to be laundered and ironed when someone has arrived in a mess for whatever reason.

Strange how you were important enough to ruin her day, the most important day of her life no less, yet you were not important enough to be invited to the actual wedding.

and a room being made available temporarily for use of shower etc.

@Gth1234 my nearest registry office has a room with a maximum of 14 HTH

Bahhhhhumbug - asking for a hotel room is logical but perhaps you can appreciate dp and I were both a bit flustered at the time. We bought new clothes because I didn't fancy being in wet clothes. Of course, a shower would have been preferable.

@sobeyongthehills.

I expect they have bigger rooms as well. It seems strange (to me) to have a wedding and not invite your siblings to the ceremony, but still to invite them to the celebration afterwards.

You poor thing. I am prone to motion sickness and winding road, plus car wash air freshener (nauseating! Why do they do that?!) plus after shave would have me hurling too. And I wee when I com now too. I’m sure if you had managed to get out of the car in time to save your clothes/hair, you would have pulled yourself together and gone to the meal anyway. But under the circs you could not possibly have gone in, and your DP needed to get you home. Not at all your fault and your SIL is being ridiculous. Let her be mad - one less birthday to remember.

@RussellSprout - that’s what I was thinking... why does the SIL care you weren’t there? She’s clearly stirring the shit—I’d watch out for her in the future!

Nightmare of a SIL

YANBU. Car sickness is awful and I can't do long car journeys or winding roads because of it.

Your SIL sounds like a total drama queen. Either that or maybe she's on glue, like a few of the bizarre posters on this thread. Eliza99999 or whatever you're calling yourself, perhaps you've inhaled some of that dry shampoo you're twaffling on about dear.

Have I walked into a parallel universe or something where it’s normal and expected to turn up to a meal stinking of sick and having pissed yourself???

There are some posters on here who seriously need to give their heads a wobble. I’ve never heard such utter insane bollocks as the stuff some people are spouting.

If you honestly think someone who’s just thrown up on themselves, peed their pants and feels rough as arseholes and doesn’t know if they’ll throw up again, should and could have tidied themselves up with a fucking baby wipe and dry shampoo and then sat down to a meal looking, feeling and smelling like shit then you’re deranged.

I’ve never suffered with car or motion sickness, but I have the common sense and empathy to know that feeling ill and throwing up on yourself is not a pleasant experience and wouldn’t necessarily be something you can just overcome after 10 minutes and fix with a baby wipe.

This wasn’t the bloody wedding either, the OP wasn’t actually deemed important enough to be invited to that. It was a formal meal to celebrate the wedding. You can’t ruin a wedding that you haven’t been invited to!

OP, you have done nothing wrong. Your SIL is being a bitch, as are many of the posters on here.

Why did you not stop the car? Being sick in a car? That's just weird. I get car sickness but I just ask to stop. Adults normally know when they are going to spew.

@Eliza9919 clearly the SIL/another petulant unreasonable bridezilla/a troll.
Jeez, so many respondents on this thread who are clearly either only reading one word out of every three or being deliberately and confrontationally obtuse.
Op YANBU at all!

Myimaginarycathasfleas similar story. I was in head block due to accident and told nurse I felt sick. She said “ We haven’t got enough staff I will have to go to other ward.” I tried so hard to keep it in and just as they came back in I threw up violently. One nurse quick on the uptake pulled the curtain around herself three more were covered, three more were behind and I missed them. When the Doctor did her rounds shortly after she looked at them and said “ Why are you in scrubs?” They all pointed at me accusingly. There was lots of banter. Think I was a bit high on the morphine which is why I was sick.
They said I shouldn’t have turned myself over and I told them I wasn’t about to choke to death on my own vomit after I had just survived a bad car crash which had written off the car and ripped the front wheel off. They got my point!

OP I think you are getting a hard time on here. First your SIL now lots of mumsnetters. Goodness I can quite understand as I get car sick. You feel nauseous for ages but can’t always tell when you are going to be sick. I know I have dealt with lots of sick kids on school trips.🤮
Have also peed myself a bit when I coughed violently. More pelvic floor exercises needed🤭
How on earth she thinks you ruined her wedding I don’t know. She should have just been glad she was married and been a bit more concerned. As for the SAHM comment it isn’t any of her business. Next time say “Ooh!You sound jealous.
Just be glad you don’t have to bother with her much.

Well said browneyes🤗

Seriously I am not sure what else you could have (sensibly) done.
I would have gone home in your position and I have been in the position of sick so hard I peed myself!
Ignore the hate and the bad feelings from SIL. She is looking for something to blame. Are you sure it wasn't a crap meal so she is trying to find something to blame?

I think they'll get over it. They might be over it already

This is such an odd read. So many people are suggesting being sick out of the window, that would be so much worse! In what world is it ok to throw up from a moving (albeit slowing to a stop) car? The side of the car / pavement / window will be covered in sick and she's already said this was OUTSIDE the venue.

Maybe some people don't get sick? 🤷🏻‍♀️ But since DD started nursery we've had a bought of norovirus and several sickness bugs. I can safely say that sometimes it happens unexpectedly, with surprising force and shocker ... If you're in an enclosed space it's going to be grim. The idea of rocking up to a wedding after that is hilarious.

Were they waiting for you to come back to start the meal? Perhaps if you explain your outfit was ruined and if you turned up in that state it definitely would have ruined the evening she might realise she’s being silly. Unless of course she thinks walking around with sick all over is par de course

Same thing happened to me too at a wedding. My travel companions were not happy bunnies to say the least, though I managed to puke into a plastic bag after screaming for one when they didn’t want to stop and then got out and sat on the kerb till I recovered. If I drive I don’t get car sick at all so now if I’m up to it I drive. This happens regularly and after terrible plane journeys with vomity migraines and another with norovirus I fell in love with their sick bags and always carry one in my handbag now. Trying not to have to wear a Tena liner just yet but it may be prudent for such moments