Did I ruin brother's wedding?

[Saavhi]

Last week my brother had a small gathering following his registration wedding (that I was not invited to- only parents and children attended). The venue where they had a sit-down meal was at the top of a very long, winding road. Unfortunately, this caused me to be sick right outside the hotel. Due to the state I was in there was no way I could go in. My half-brother jumped out and explained the situation. My dp and I found somewhere for me to collect myself out as I was still feeling poorly. I rang later in the day to apologise for my absence/wish them well.

On Sunday at my parent's house, my SIL told me I ruined "the most important day of her life" (imo not true as there will be a much larger destination wedding in July). We're not at all close and she doesn't appear to like me. I have heard her call me lazy for being a SAHM. I told her she was being ridiculous and to please move on. I said that I'm not going to keep apologising for something that was beyond my control.

They are offended that dp did not attend or ring (he was parking the car when my half-brother had them on the phone).

AIBU?

Don't know why people are being rude! You didn't ruin wedding, it would have ruined it to puke in front of everyone

Sil sounds dramatic, over invested in how things looked and not the true sentiment of the day ie marrying her love. Not worth arguing over.

Yanbu

Buy a new dress?

LOL.
Find a shop, (go in with clothes covered in remains of earlier vomit but never mind that - and pee too) find a few affordable dresses your size, try on, choose one, put vomit and pee-covered dress back on, go and pay while dressed in clothing smelling of vomit and pee, get back into smelly car, drive somewhere to change - maybe the venue where you would bump into other guests, maybe a McDonalds, attempt to wash herself in the loos (vomit smell gets right through to the skin) and somehow make hair presentable, put vomit covered dress in a bag and return it to the car, and arrive for the meal as the staff were clearing up.

You could hardly come in covered in sick and wee. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. She’s a twitzilla for sure.

Oh and while you was trying on new dresses, risk getting chunks of vomit on them from her hair.

I seriously doubt she would be allowed to enter a shop in the state she was in, Eliza. Management usually reserves the right to refuse service.

• while she was trying on new dresses....

I think this thread clearly shows the divide between those who have been travel sick and those who have not. It is bloody wretched and you can feel ill all day. I am a bugger for travel sickness.

Also I am utterly baffled at how a wedding was ‘ruined‘ by someone you aren’t especially close to not turning up. I would of thought that was a bit of a shame but not the cause for ruination. ‘Ruined’ to me suggests the venue burnt down or the bride didn’t show.

This thread is one of the most insane I've ever read on MN.

Surely the normal response is
"oh no you poor thing. What a shame you couldn't be there, I do hope you're feeling better soon"?

Puking on the bride would have ruined the wedding.

Exactly @RevealTheLegend

Things that could've ruined my wedding

• my husband stopping the cows to tell me he has decided to become a woman and is running away with his lover to Bora Bora.

A guest getting sick and not being able to attend doesn't even make the list of things I'd notice with everything else going on.

Must've been a pretty shit wedding for this to be the sticking point.

FFS VOWS not Cows.

A cow stampede would probably have been pretty bad as well.

Quite Thisnamechanger!

OP yanbu ignore the unsympathetic posters - MN brings out the worst in some ppsters with their competitive one upmanship of being The Most Perfect Person Ever™️

I have never been travel sick and I don't understand these bridezilla responses either. Sometimes perfectly nice women turn into horribly selfish people just because they get married and think that's the day they peak in their lives.
What a sad sexist world we live in that the best day a woman could hope for is a boring ceremony in virgin white.

I completely get how it happened OP. I was MASSIVELY sick after a general anaesthetic. I got as far as “I’m terribly sorry, I think I’m going - “

Projectile vomiting, all over the poor nurse who had grabbed a bowl, (which I missed by a mile). Absolutely no warning apart from a sudden queasiness.

Your SIL is an idiot.

The notion of using dry shampoo on wet sicky hair has made me laugh 😂 it would genuinely congeal into a disgusting gunky horror show.

Of course you didn't ruin their wedding, OP.

Op could you be pregnant?

I really try to avoid wishing bad things on people, but everybody who doubts adults can be violently travel sick, I do wish a bout of travel sickness.
its horrendous, will leave you feeling horrendous for hours, and get everywhere. your SIL is an idiot

YADNBU
Baffling responses from a few people.
It's a wedding, not an SAS endurance event to show how tough you are

I'd feel nauseated if I were near a guest who hadn't showered and washed hair after vomiting over herself,
who was wearing the same clothes, just wiped with a napkin

That would indeed ruin any social event, let alone a formal one, at which everyone is supposed to be dressed in their best and well-groomed

I think this thread clearly shows the divide between those who have been travel sick and those who have not.

I don't get travel sick, but you don't need first-hand experience of it to understand the general concept of feeling/being sick and how it smells/stains clothes/makes you feel dreadful etc. And how it's utterly incompatible with sitting round a table at a fancy wedding with people eating...

Some people on here are just winding people up for the sake of it. Or they're seven shades of thick.

I get motion sickness so I can't sit in the back seat. I opened the window and vomited on the freeway once.

I used to get poorly in our single engine plane. When I'd tell my husband I was about to puke he'd find a place to land very quickly. lol

We discovered I was only sick if he was fiddling with the rudders too much or flying in circles. I was fine with flying straight from A to B.

Motion sickness is awful and would leave me feeling horrible for hours afterwards.

Very confused about how is was ruined?! She wasn't even invited to the actual wedding. I'm also very envious of the people here who don't appear to ever be sick or get travel sick. Dry shampoo and vomit is an interesting idea 🤔. Next time l vote you vomit on your SIL. She sounds like a nightmare

I'm imagining you staggering late into the reception: feeling awful; matted hair, still with some sick in it; large, wet patches down your front, where you've tried to wash the sick out; a wet patch at the back...

No, OP, you didn't ruin the wedding. It sounds like SIL ruined her own wedding!

I think it's interesting that she had a go at you when you were surrounded by your own, immediate family.

I can't believe the responses on this thread. There is NO WAY you can get rid of the smell of vomit with a quick freshen up with baby wipes. Vomit is one of the worst smells known to man, and the only way the OP would have been able to get rid of it would be to wash her hair and body in the shower and change her clothes, brush her teeth etc.
To the poster who said she should see an incontinence doctor, it's perfectly normal to leak a little urine after childbirth when you cough, sneeze etc. Vomiting puts incredible strain on the abdomen and with a full bladder its totally normal for some of this to be expelled. It doesn't mean the Op is merrily pissing herself all over the place every day.
I would have done exactly the same thing as the OP. As a wedding guest I would be horrified to have to sit next to someone stinking of vomit, especially if I were trying to eat a meal. She was being respectful to the other guests by not going in. Can't believe how heartless some people are being!

This thread is among the most insane that I have ever read on MN - and that is saying something!

I actually cannot believe that there are so many thick posters who don't understand travel sickness and think that OP could just dab herself with a baby wipe and then attend a posh meal with vomit in her heir and on her clothing and having wet herself! Any normal person would know that - baby wipe not withstanding - it is very difficult to get rid of the smell of vomit and then there is the MN plan that OP should sit in soiled knickers smelling of vomit and feeling like she is going to vomit again at the site of food - at a wedding reception - in a posh restaurant.

I feel very sympathetic - I had a similar issue with rapid onset diarrhea a few months ago in a rural restaurant. Ended up having to strip off my poo filled knickers (lucky that a random supermarket veg bag was in my walker basket) and wash my legs and feet in the sink of the restaurant bathroom, then clean the floor, sick and toilet. Then to get dressed commando with no kickers and no socks and make a run to leave with my bag of shame! Added to the problem of still feeling really ill on the way home,

I believe many pps are just trolling and trying to pick apart OP - otherwise they are very odd types that would welcome the smell of urine and vomit while they are eating - lovely to know what standards some MN posters have

OP I don't know whether anti sickness patches are available in the UK but it may be worth checking out with your GP. They look like round corn plasters but sit behind your ear and work for 48-72 hours. We have had them on prescription (in Sweden) for many years as twisting country lane and boat trips are a big trigger for DD2 who wore them round Iceland last year.

I'd have staggered in on heels like Patsy out of Ab Fab with vomit in my hastily arranged bun, a fag on to disguise the smell, and quaffed the Bolly.

oh hang on. No I wouldnt. People are confusing deranged dreams with actual life.