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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask what’s the longest you’ve been without sex?

111 replies

JonSnowIsALoser · 13/05/2019 18:32

What’s the longest you’ve been without sex? What were the reasons? Did you cope with it OK? How? Or was it unbearable? Did you end up shagging someone random? Or waited for a new committed relationship?

I’m starting to miss it after 2 years of being happily sex-free (divorce in progress) and I’m feeling a bit lost to be honest. I’m in my mid-forties, is that it for me then?

OP posts:

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 14/05/2019 09:00

Just over a year in, DH was too unwell to do it any more. Now I am unlikely to ever have sex again, and I'm OK with that. I like sex, but without DH I don't feel any inclination.

ncdforthis · 14/05/2019 12:47

About 7 years, it's been so long that I don't really remember it to miss it or feel bothered now

KissUntilTheyDieOfRabies · 14/05/2019 12:59

It's been since the very beginning of April for me.

I'm lucky if it happens once a month.

Longest I ever went without was several months in 2013 when I couldn't trust anyone.i mostly have no drive anymore but a lot of it is affected by being flirted with and certain behaviours and things, so without any of those things I don't even feel bothered except that I miss intimacy with my partner.

My m went through.menopause round 40 and dried up and didn't want sex ever again. My parents have separate rooms. Not everyone gets rampant.

truffleruffle · 05/03/2026 18:46

JonSnowIsALoser · 13/05/2019 21:29

Thank you everyone! Good to know my position is not as unusual as I thought, to those of you who miss it.

To answer a PP’s question, by ‘sex’ I mean an intercourse with a partner.

Toys are great - I discovered them recently. More satisfying and efficient that the ex. But alas they don’t give hugs, and are lacking on the sexy talk front.

I always thought I had a low libido, but it seems to have been the result of being on the pill for most of twenty-odd years. I’ve been off the pill for two years now as it is no longer necessary, and my hormones are gradually getting bonkers.

I’d love to hear more from you.

I agree it’s definitely the intimacy that I would miss if we didn’t have sex. Toys are fine but they don’t give a cuddle.

novasglowx · 06/03/2026 00:28

Almost 4 years now. Before that it was 3 years. I’m single.

Marwoodsbigbreak · 06/03/2026 07:02

Thirteen years and I don’t plan to do it ever again.

I have had a lot of sex in my lifetime. Good, bad and indifferent. I just don’t have the remotest interest in it now, and haven’t done since becoming post menopausal.

I did have that peri surgery of hormones PP mentioned, when I was ragingly horny. Long gone now!

shiveringtimber · 08/03/2026 08:06

Coming up for 15 years.

welshgirl2025 · 08/03/2026 08:07

19 years and dont miss it a bit. I cant think of anything worse than having to share my bedroom with anyone other than my dog

Dribblepop · 08/03/2026 08:08

A few years, back when I was single. I didn’t really miss it, I can take it or leave it to be honest.

Boomer55 · 08/03/2026 08:29

JonSnowIsALoser · 13/05/2019 18:32

I’m starting to miss it after 2 years of being happily sex-free (divorce in progress) and I’m feeling a bit lost to be honest. I’m in my mid-forties, is that it for me then?

For two years, after my husband died. I really missed it. 🤷‍♀️

vapourtrail · 08/03/2026 08:31

This thread is 7 years old! I wonder if there are any updates from those who posted originally!!

For me it has been about 4 months but it wasn’t great so not sure that counts!!

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