To be annoyed at my sister for missing an important family event?

[sweetkitty]

I probably am and will probably get flamed but here goes. In January I sent out the date of a important event for my DS, think once in his lifetime imports to him kind of thing. My sister is his godmother and very close to him.

About 3 weeks ago she tells me she can’t come she’s away with work, she has a job where she travels an awful lot but I had assumed she would have blocked out the date.

Today she posts she’s at a Health/Fitness convention, she’s recently turned into a health/gym nut and I think she’s booked this then realised it’s clashed with DSs thing.

I am annoyed that she’s lied and posted the whole days iternary of FB (she’s turned into a health bore posting work outs at 4am/green juices/boot camp holidays) and said she’s working? DS was upset when I said she couldn’t come today.

DH said forget about it if she had wanted to be there she would have been.

Yabu, she can do what she likes.

If she’s otherwise good then I’d let this slide

TBH it depends entirely on what the event was.

Graduation (though viewing not due to time of year) - possibly yes YANBU
Getting a new badge for Scouts or similar - YABU.

And with respect you may find health and fitness boring but it's her hobby and you need to respect her right to find it interesting (though personally I agree with you, I only exercise so I can eat more crisps and a health convention sounds like something I would fine very dull )

Yeah it’s shit. I’d be upset to

YANBU, she can do what she likes, but you also have every right to be annoyed with her. But your DH is right, if she wanted to be there, she would have been. You now know where her priorities lie. But please don't forget this in future, and then be hurt when she does something similar again. Also use this to determine how much effort you put into her now. Don't put yourself out in ways which I suspect you automatically would have done, believing you were 'close' and that you should go out of your way for her.

She might have genuinely double booked and not realised, it happens.
I can see why you’d be disappointed but also I think my opinion would differ depending on the specific event?

In the olympics? She is BU.

But it does depend on what it is.

I think it depends on your child’s age and what the event was

On the face of it YABU

If DS was having a heart transplant or something then I may change my mind.

DS is 9, don’t really want to say what the event was might be too outing but once in a lifetime bigger than a birthday religious celebration, she’s came to all the DDs. Wi don’t have any parent so sister is really only family .

Yanbu for being upset, you’re human after all. Your sis is unreasonable for lying about why she was missing it. Shitty behaviour

With no other family it's harder.

But I would avoid a religious ceremony anyway so could that be the reason?

You mean a confirmation or Bar Mitzvah?

Hardly a life changing event for your sister is it?

Maybe because it is a boy and less of a big deal in some peoples eyes than a little girl. Is she religious?

I don't think you're being unreasonable. I'd be hurt too.

Hmm, 9 yo will get over it and I think you should let it go too.

First communion?
I wouldn’t go either but I’m not religious.
At the end of the day you have to decide if it’s worth falling out over and possibly ruining your relationship with your sister.

came to all the DDs

How many has she attended? It's once in his life but is it 5 times in hers?

it’s not ok to lie, but she also is allowed to not come to the event.

So she missed his first communion?

How many has she attended? It's once in his life but is it 5 times in hers?

Perhaps the OP has more than 1 DD ?

I don't know why you can't say first communion!

Sad if people think this is more important for a girl than a boy though! Just for the dresses? That's not really anything to do with anything, just a tradition. It mimics the baptismal gown I guess.

YABU. She gave you 3 weeks’ notice.

I can see that it would be disappointing but I’m wondering if you’re putting too much pressure on sis to be the perfect aunt/GM?

Does she have kids?

Your sister's life does not have to revolve around your children, or you. This is some party, it's not a life-or-death thing. Get over it and don't spoil it for your DS by whining about how awful it is that his aunty has something else to do on that day.