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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to tell these women to buzz off

239 replies

Brodiebirdy · 11/05/2019 21:24

My partner (who I’ve been with for just under a year, but have known through work for quite a few years) is part of a group on Facebook/Twitter/instagram where they all have the same type of Labrador cross dog. Quite a few of them have dogs from the same litter- he has known these women longer than he has known me. They have meet-ups where they walk the dogs together- these are often hours away from where we live as they are all spread out across the uk. They are having one next month that my partner had taken the day off work to go to. However I have a medical appointment on the same day that my partner wants to come with me (I have a chronic health condition and am slightly hard of hearing so he wants to be there for support) so he has told the group that he can’t go. They are really upset that he’s not going and are saying that I’m taking him away from his friends and that they’re all travelling for hours (one woman is driving for 10 and a half hours for this walk) and that I could easily change an appointment. They feel that I’m jealous of the bond that they all have and that I’m splitting up their ‘family’ with the dogs. I am absolutely stunned by their reaction and think it is really odd. AIBU or should I encourage him to go? I’m really confused by all of this

OP posts:
leomama81 · 13/05/2019 18:00

I imagine at least one of them has designs on him. This is so nuts! This is not "dog people", my family is full of dog people and they would think this is crazy as.

I agree though, your DP needs to sort this out, he is allowing it if not enjoying it

Original poster
Brodiebirdy · 13/05/2019 18:19

@StormTreader they aim to meet up 4 times a year but it isn’t realistic due to distances between them. They’ve only met up as a complete group twice but they’ve met up in smaller groups a few times

OP posts:
Original poster
Brodiebirdy · 13/05/2019 18:35

@RedHatsDoNotSuitMe they’re meeting on a Wednesday and he has only booked one day off work- otherwise that probably would have been a solution to all of this

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 13/05/2019 18:56

but hes only had his dog two years they cant mean that much to him as a group of people surely

Frankola · 13/05/2019 19:19

Wow they're a bit OTT aren't they?!

Just ignore them and go to your appointment with your partner.

Don't poke the crazy bears lol

AryaStarkWolf · 14/05/2019 09:52

@AyraStarkWolf I met him a few years ago through work but we had only ever said hello and didn’t work in the same department until last April

Fair enough, it's still a pretty short time for those women to have known him though, they're not life long friends or anything, really weird behavior

StormTreader · 14/05/2019 10:00

"They’ve only met up as a complete group twice but they’ve met up in smaller groups a few times"

So when they meet up in smaller groups, obviously some people aren't there and they seem to cope without the world falling in. It does seem like they think THEY should be his very top priority, above his work and his wife.

ReanimatedSGB · 14/05/2019 12:57

Still think it's a bit odd that so many people think a partner you haven't been with very long should immediately be more important than friends.
I appreciate that OP wants her DP to go with her to her medical appointment, and that's reasonable enough. Ish. If it's a matter of test results and potential bad news then of course you want someone with you; if it's the annual check up which is 99.9% likely to be a matter of 'keep taking your pills, everything is fine' then maybe OP really is a bit of a princess and wants to isolate this man from all his friends. Not always easy to tell...

EdtheBear · 14/05/2019 13:06

The point is it's not a annual check up she is worried.
These "friends" are more like acquentences who he's met in the last couple of years because they have dogs from the same litter.
It's not like they are local life long or very good friends. Who'd probably say I'll walk your dog while you go to the hospital.

Willow2017 · 14/05/2019 13:23

reanimated
This man has only met these people a few times in last 2 years to walk dogs! They meet up at other times without everyone being there but that seems fine. What gives them the right on this occasion to call op and berate her or insult her on sm? And why shouldn't her dp be defending her and telling them to grow up?

His dp has a serious medical condition which this appoint is for.

I know what comes1st in my book. clue its not walking a dog

EdtheBear · 14/05/2019 13:28

He's not even known them 2 years.

Doggy is 2 in November, so born Nov 17, it was probably 2-3 mths before it was handed over so Jan / Feb 18.

We are only in May 19 so max time he's known them is 18mths.

I think somebody in the group either has eyes on him or wants to breed from his dog!

Prequelle · 14/05/2019 13:32

If anyone spoke about me that way my DP would bollock them and cut them out.

Miffymeow · 14/05/2019 13:43

What the actual Confused
Even if one of my oldest, closest friends called up DP behind my back and was rude to him and hung up they would not get away with it. Let alone if it was because I had told them that I was attending an important medical appointment with him rather than going for a meetup with them.

These women sound like absolute loonies and your DP should 100% be telling them where to go at this point, they have massively overstepped the mark and it's creepy and major bully behaviour. Stand your ground OP and prepare to make a difficult decision if you have to. If he won't even stand up for you to these loonies, he doesn't sound like much of a keeper. Flowers

NoFucksImAQueen · 20/05/2019 20:30

how are you op?

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