Husband Business trip Bangkok

[fred74]

My husband has insisted he needed to go on a work trip to Bangkok. From find my iPhone app I have found out he spent the first night in a go-go dancer/sex club. He left for a short period of time with drew £500 and returned. We have been married for 18 years and I feel absolutely disgusted by this. I am considering hiring a private detective to see what he gets up to. Any advice/thoughts greatly appreciated.

@Bluntness100 not nice to have a post deleted, but fear not - another poster repeated what you said afterwards and that is still standing!

OP...after your update you ask what we would do...well most importantly perhaps tend to your distraught kids that you have told about their Daddy's unfaithfulness. As for the rest, well perhaps you could give more detail so you can receive some good solid advice.

Mind you, there's been some great comments made so far

Get a full s.t.i. Checkup it may not be his first time
Prostitution is v cheap out there not £500 so far more likely to be drink and drugs

Bangkok and £500 = half the strippers in the club. However, he may have just decided to take out more cash for the rest of the trip as he was at the machine... should you decide to "believe" him, as he's gonna say nothing happened, I'd ask for an std test to come back clear first...

Wtf you told your children?

You told your kids?? How old are they?

How old are your kids?

Overfifty,, I wouldn't mind if I knew why,,,🤔

Find my friends does not show you with enough accuracy exactly where someone is. I don't think you can tell what you have outlined in your OP from FMF?

Likewise LaLaLamp. I have seen much worse go unmoderated.

How sad Are you sure he even went on a business trip? I am guessing this was his intent from the beginning

So sorry to hear this... you are better off without him, but I understand it will take time for you to realise this

They are teenagers but one younger teen. I have been so upset and I tried to hide it from my eldest but she knew something was wrong. I have told them that Dad has been cheating on me. Of course they knew where he was and soon put two and tow together and knew he had paid for it. We are so shocked, sad and disgusted. He has returned and obviously so, so sorry and believes he is having a midlife crisis. We have now separated and he has moved out. Do you think I could forgive him ever in time? Morally I am absolutely mortified on every level.

If you’ve told your teenagers the true reason of why you’ve separated, then no I don’t believe you should forgive him in time. You’d only be teaching your daughters that it’s acceptable to be treated that way by the man they love, and you’d be teaching your sons that it’s acceptable for them to treat women that way

I couldn't forgive him, he left the place to go to a mini bank and went back. He had plenty of time / opportunity to not go through with it.

No I could never forgive him. He knew what he was doing and supposedly going through a "mid life crisis" is no excuse for what he did. Think about what he could have picked up? He was quite willing to risk passing something onto you. It's inexcusable.

I think it you tried to forgive him it would end up making you more miserable over time. I'm so sorry OP this sounds like a nightmare, and I think you're being very brave.

I am sad for you but sad for your children who didn’t need to details., they are still children.

£500?
Has he bought a tom for a month or something?

Obviously I would not tell my children the details. My eldest daughter is nearly eighteen. It does not take much for her to put the picture together. Dad (middle aged, over weight) goes on a "business" trip to Bangkok . Never been before. I am so upset and have to tell her dad has been cheating out there. She has come to her own conclusion and afraid there is no denying it. She is not going to think someone has just fallen for him on the first night.