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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Toddler TV snobbery

217 replies

Notmorewashing · 08/05/2019 08:25

I have noticed on here and in real life people (mostly middle class) are snobs about letting 1-3ish year olds watch TV.
What do you think? I allow mine at times and when I was pregnant with a child already and then two children it was impossible not to. I think it’s ok as long as you do other activities but people gasp when I admitted doing this!!

OP posts:
BendydickCuminsnatch · 08/05/2019 08:28

Haha. I was just pondering to myself if I can let the kids watch as much tv as poss befor DS starts school in sept. He’s going to be so exhausted then! I feel like he needs to start conserving energy already 😄
We’ve had the TV on since 6am, but have also had breakfast, got dressed etc, all of which involve playing, played in the playroom for a bit. DS1 (3) is off to grandad’s this morning and me and DS2 (1) are going to play big time after a crazy week of outings and parties last week.

So I am definitely pro-TV as part of a healthy, balanced childhood!

Not to mention my eldest knew all his numbers, letters and colours at age 2 with zero input from me Grin yay TV!

TeaForDad · 08/05/2019 08:29

Our 2yo used to be such a crab street nursery until we realized she was tired and wanted to chill.
A bit of TV is fine

BendydickCuminsnatch · 08/05/2019 08:30

But to answer your question, yes some people are snobby about it. I don’t much care though haha.

User8888888 · 08/05/2019 08:31

Lots of people say it online but I haven’t met anyone that doesn’t use tv with their toddlers. I do have tv guilt as my toddler watches a fair bit but she is ahead on pretty much everything so it clearly hasn’t done any harm.

RiddleyW · 08/05/2019 08:31

Most people limit it to some extent I think. It’s loads easier if you’ve only got one I expect. I’ve just got DS who is 4.5 and he had no screens at all until about 2.5. Now he watches tv everyday from 5-5.45 and a couple of days a week it’ll go on earlier.

I’m not sure it’s snobbery - we’re mostly all just doing our best.

kaytee87 · 08/05/2019 08:33

I'm middle class and everyone I know let's their toddlers watch tv amongst obviously other activities.
I'm surprised someone actually gasped when you said that tbh.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 08/05/2019 08:34

I think some of it is a reflection of general household TV habits, we never have the TV on in the mornings and don't have a TV in the bedroom, this has been the same always. We don't watch soaps or the latest drama everyone is talking about at work, so don't have TV commitments so to speak. We do watch TV but rarely as broadcast, recorded or netflix usually. Pre DS we wouldn't really put the TV on until after dinner and we currently eat dinner after his bedtime (he's 5 months), because we have a low TV time household is likely to be the same for DS.

edgeofheaven · 08/05/2019 08:35

I'd definitely stop interacting with anyone who gasped upon hearing that toddlers watch TV sometimes.

TommeeTippedOver · 08/05/2019 08:36

I think the recommendations are that children shouldn't watch TV at all up until the age of three.
To be honest I don't think a younger toddler watching half an hour of cbeebies is that big a deal, but a lot of children do watch vast amounts of TV or go on tablets from babyhood, and I think people are rightly judgy about that.
My friend is a speech therapist who now trains other speech therapists, and she says that they're seeing more and more children coming in with mild to moderate speech issues, which don't seem to be linked to any underlying SEN and which can be fixed relatively quickly with the necessary help. They reckon that a lot of it is down to parents having the TV on all the time, even when the child isn't really watching it. So even when the child is listening/speaking/playing, they're doing it over the giant colourful box blaring away in the corner and this then impacts their ability to acquire and use language.

Based on that, I think the issue is less "child watches a programme after tea everyday so parents can clean up and run bath" and more "TV is on a cbeebies loop 24/7".

Also I think you can foster an over reliance on screens. When I took my daughter to the clinic for her six months check up, there was another baby there of a similar age. I was chatting to his mother about how good the Surestart in our area was, and she said she must give some of the groups a try, but all her baby boy wanted to do was sit and watch TV Confused

YouWinAgain · 08/05/2019 08:36

I have always let my 3 year old watch TV, it's on pretty much all the time.

We do also go on walks, to the park, Nursery 3 days a week etc so it's not all she does.

MrBrown · 08/05/2019 08:37

Yeah I don't get it either. Just makes me wonder what all these people do with their time. DS is 2.5. He will get up and go and play when he's bored of the TV/tablet. He goes to nursery 3 full days a week with no screen time. They go to the park, play in the garden, so arts and crafts or messy play (which I hate). We go swimming every week and he goes to a little play club every week on my days off. So if he watches TV for a bit I really don't care. He can count, knows the alphabet, colours, shapes, animals. Nursery have said he is way more advanced than any other child his age and he is already in the pre-school room with the older children because of this.

NCforthis2019 · 08/05/2019 08:38

Surely you do what you want to do as parents - I don’t judge anyone who allows their child tv, at the same time I couldn’t care less about parents who don’t allow tv for their children - who cares? As very young children my two didn’t really watch tv - I did put on things like alphablocks from time to time but they couldn’t care less about tv at that age - I do have the radio on all the time though.

My two (5 and 2) get 30 minutes on Saturday morning - and if my daughter has finished her homework, we might have a family movie on Sunday afternoon.

RaptorWhiskers · 08/05/2019 08:39

I limit it as much as possible but sometimes I need DC to be still and quiet while I cook or do something essential. How else can you make a toddler sit still without screaming?

Dandelion1993 · 08/05/2019 08:39

I've always had Cbeebies on in the background.

The songs are fun and some of the shows are great to join in with.

My eldest is now 5, but I used to love trying to guess the dressing up on Let's play with her. As a baby her eyes lit up at ITNG as she found the colours fascinating.

KTCluck · 08/05/2019 08:39

DD is 2 and has spent the last half hour in the living room watching tv and doing her puzzles. I’ve cracked on and got most of the housework done, so we now have the rest of the day to do as we please and she gets my undivided attention after my cuppa and 10 mins on mumsnet.

I feel no guilt and don’t care if some judge. She’s happy, active and developing well. Nursery report she is way ahead with her speech and fine motor skills. Appropriate TV in moderation will do no harm. Without it DD would be attached to my ankles all day, I’d be tearing my hair out and we’d be living in a sty.

If other parents choose not to let their child have any screen time then that is up to them and most certainly not harmful either. Wouldn’t work for me though!

Lookingforadvice123 · 08/05/2019 08:40

I've always been strict with my DS age 3's TV watching and he'd only have about an hour max after tea time, up until the age of 2.5-3. He still only tends to have it in the evening but we are more relaxed on weekends.

His speech is great, always has been.

But behaviourally at the moment he's a little shit! So rude and full of attitude. IMO he's spoiled as he's had our full attention, and his grandparents when they look after him, always trying to play with him etc, instead of being left to his own devices some of the time.

So I wish I'd plonked him in front of the TV a bit more tbh 🤣

LePetitPont · 08/05/2019 08:41

We watch a lot of tv here. It started in earnest when I was pregnant with DS2 and DS1 decided any time from 4.30 was fair game to get up and then into early days with a toddler and a newborn and now it’s just part of the routine. We mainly have CBeebies so I can kid myself it’s educational! A couple of hours on non-nursery day mornings whilst we have breakfast and get ready and then in the afternoon once we’ve been out and about and had a play. And bedtime hour.

chocolatemademefat · 08/05/2019 08:44

It’s amazing the amount of people who claim they don’t allow their children to watch tv. Yet you go to their house and the children have a load of toys from all the latest programmes and can tell me all about the characters.

I know some of them are lying because the kids tell me they watch tv - why would you bother?

moreismore · 08/05/2019 08:45

I was a massive snob until I had DC2. Now I love CBeebies.

Pipandmum · 08/05/2019 08:47

I remember when Madonna said she didn’t let her kids watch TV. I’m sure with her schedule she had a lot of help in the home to entertain her kids! I didn’t limit mine too much but I grew up with no tv (such as it was back then) during the week and it made no difference.

HennyPennyHorror · 08/05/2019 08:49

My DD is 14 now and some of our best memories are of the TV we watched together. We always sang the songs and did the dances and even when we weren't watching the TV, we'd sometimes act out new episodes we'd make up ourselves.

We had a laugh! I'd do Auntie Mabel from "Come Outside" and she still brings that up!

It can be the key to creativity.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 08/05/2019 08:49

I think the tv snobs are also the ones that claim they're child sleeps through the night from 6 weeks and are potty trained before they're 2

Do what you need to get you through the day - if that includes an hour of CBeebies or Baby. TV go for it!

DD has always had background tv on and her speech is incredibly advanced for a child her age and personally I don't think she appears "damaged" in anyway! 🤣

floraloctopus · 08/05/2019 08:50

As long as they aren't using it as an electronic babysitter then whatever works for them.

CherryPavlova · 08/05/2019 08:50

I used to limit it. There is so much else to do. We watched Sesame Street and Tots TV for one, Playdays for another but switched on then off again rather than constant distracting background drivel.

If they’re tired curling up on the sofa for a cuddle with a huge pile of storybooks was so much nicer. Putting washing in the machines is more fun.

Unless presents, we never had character toys from television. Thomas was the probable exception but that wasn’t because of television. It was about a little boy who loved watching the train collect and drop off coal.

SarahAndQuack · 08/05/2019 09:01

People can be snobby, I guess.

I love toddler TV. I suspect it's much better than when we were little. I really adore Sarah and Duck, and I like Hey Duggee and Rastamouse and Tee and Mo.

I don't like the ones that are knock-offs of books done badly. Thomas would fit in that category, and so does bloody awful Peter Rabbit, which is shit. So I don't let her watch those.

I think people are very weird about TV. My parents were very strict about it and the only result was that I missed out on loads of pop culture references, and I'm not brilliant at following the plot of films now, which I think might be a learned skill.

I don't at all see why TV is seen as less good than books.