Toddler TV snobbery

[Notmorewashing]

I have noticed on here and in real life people (mostly middle class) are snobs about letting 1-3ish year olds watch TV.
What do you think? I allow mine at times and when I was pregnant with a child already and then two children it was impossible not to. I think it’s ok as long as you do other activities but people gasp when I admitted doing this!!

@Notmorewashing
Btw YABU to say its only snobbery.
The peole I know who avoid TV for under 3 yo do so after having thought about it, reading around the subject etc... Basically educating themselves before taking a decision (the general advice of not having children watching TV in other ciuntries is, for example, ome good starting point. Why/on wat ground do they give that advice?).

Its certainly not a decision taken 'because im posher than you' type of attitude.

Accepting that people can do things in a different way and its ok can go a long way

As with everything it is all about moderation

@wengie my three year old loves blippi too. TV is fine as long as you also talk to your children and read books. Cebeebies is quite educational.

My kids didn’t watch tv before they started school. Secretly I do judge others who plonk their tiny kids in front of it, or an iPad, especially when they then don’t sleep - no shit!

I had two under 2 and the elder one easily self entertained with toys/books/games or just following me around ‘helping. We don’t watch a lot of tv either. We don’t have one in the communal areas of our home so it’s not distracting, constant background noise. Nor is it there as a constant reminder to watch telly. I hate houses where you are talking to someone who has one eye on a screen - it’s rude. And very common these days.

I just think it’s a cop out, and easy way to shut kids up. It doesn’t teach them to self entertain. It is addictive and anti social. My kids are articulate and avid readers and I do think that no tv in early years played a part in that. While others were watching tv they were learning to love books and about conversation, looking at the world and enquiring into it constantly.

They do watch some now, never during the week but enough so they aren’t left out of school chats. Their default activity is to pick up a book - you can’t teach kids that habit when the default option of a screen is ever present.

@SarahandQuack - Yes, I guess I probably did mean to sound condescending. I'm all for people making their own decisions about their kids (and I don't judge them either way for any of this) but it really riles me when I see on these forums about how whatever amount of TV any one person decides is right is totally brilliant and completely fine, and anyone who disagrees is just being snobby rather than acting on suggestions produced by researchers (or 'experts', who seem to get a really bad press these days).

I do understand that science isn't a god-like force. It just makes me grumpy when people refuse to accept research because the findings don't suit what is convenient for them. The same happens with children and healthy eating. The same happens with car use. I know I shouldn't be condescending, and that ultimately being so is completely counterproductive because it just annoys other people, but I hold my hands up to being very grumpy about this one!

My days are topped and tailed with TV. We have it on in the morning whilst getting ready and in the evening before bed to help wind down. I don't see any issues with it. My DCs would much rather be outside playing, though

Oh, I see.

But I think it is silly to assume everyone (except you?) is just dismissing the research. I certainly don't. I read up quite a bit before DD was born, which is why I know that it's difficult to separate out different effects on children.

Christ, I feel like people are really making life difficult for themselves not letting their toddler watch any TV until 3! My son watched CBeebies from a baby, he enjoyed it, and I got some respite from being the constant entertainment.

Snobbery between CBeebies and other channels/Netflix for kids TV - now that's definitely where my snobbery comes in!

It’s funny as I was de facto raised by telly and DH comes from a tightly middle class background where telly was tightly controlled.

Because I’m common I will stick on The Chase when I’m doing teas. We all sit down and eat whilst it’s on but still talk, then when the music comes on at the end they (DD3 DS18mo) know it’s bathtime.

Then two Tee and Mo before bed.

In the morning they know that the moment that Hey Duggee finishes, it’s time for everyone to get to nursery/catch the train to work.

Telly gave my life structure when things were hard when I was very little and I’ve inadvertently passed it on. But it seems to work.

However I am a complete hypocrite and LOATHE seeing infants on tablets, however that’s more to do with me being a Luddite.

I agree with PP that a correlation doesn't mean causation. The households where the TV is on constantly MAY be the households where the parents can't/won't play or interact much with their children. Those guidelines are a blanket rule probably aimed at those people. We're fairly lax about the tv, and my 3yo DS will on somedays end up watching a few hours in total. Whilst I would in theory rather he watch much less, the reality is that with a newborn and the general stresses of life, it sometimes is the easiest way to entertain him, especially when he's tired. That said, he's also able to play by himself for quite long periods of time when we're not available. He is incredibly sociable, confident and has great language skills for his age. Of course tv will be detrimental if that's all your child does and you make no efforts at other times to play with them, have conversations with them, take them out etc etc. But it's not necessarily going to cause harm in an otherwise balanced and stimulating lifestyle. If I had all the time, energy and creativity in the world I would switch the tv off and do other things with him but unfortunately I am not perfect and can't be the perfect mum all the time. I personally think it's when unhealthy habits get established that it can become an issue, eg I'm careful to make sure that my DS doesn't expect the tv to go on as soon as we get up every morning, or every time he sits down to eat, everytime I'm cooking etc. I try to keep a good balance and on the whole he doesn't kick up a fuss when the tv goes off for us to do other things, if he did then that's when I'd think maybe it's becoming a problem

I just think it’s a cop out, and easy way to shut kids up

It didn't shut mine up, and wasn't intended to. In fact, it allowed for rich conversation.

It is addictive and anti social

Evidence please. Also, anti social? I take it you don't participate in TV/movie watching and discussion with friends/social media? It's not anti-social.

My kids are articulate and avid readers

So are mine. Off the charts in both literacy and numeracy.

While others were watching tv they were learning to love books and about conversation, looking at the world and enquiring into it constantly

Mine were doing this too. Still do. TV didn't magically stop their development, nor hinder it in any way.

And snobbery really does play a part.

It's really sad, but broadly, children whose parents are educated and well-off, tend to do better than children whose parents aren't. People aspire to be, or seem, educated and well-off, and snobbery develops around those things.

Obviously you can be an excellent parent if you're not educated or well off, but - very wrongly, in my view - things will be made harder for you.

We avoid TV before about 2. Oldest didn't watch any until her younger brother came along when she was about that age and I needed to feed etc. Youngest is 18 months and it may be on in his presence for the older kids but he has no interest in it and I wouldn't put it on for him per se.

I'm not snobby about it, I just don't do it.

TV all the way here. Kids are at daycare Mon through to Friday so they get about an hour on week nights while it’s the dinner/bathe/bed rush and then on weekends it’s on constantly. They choose whether to watch it or not though, I find myself alone watching fucking Blippi some days until I realise the kids are playing with toys or the dog in their room lol

@SarahandDuck but it isn't everyone except me. Lots of people read up and make their own choices about these things. It's just that apparently holding any kind of view that you should severely limit screen time for little kids is snobbish and judgemental, rather than just a sensible response to what you've read up about.

And the poster who said they put tv on so their child doesn’t whine while they are making breakfast - kids need to learn that some spaces in the day are not filled with entertainemrbr. Sometimes you have to wait. Fill it with chat, a game, I spy or just being - if a child can’t wait two minutes for porridge then there’s more wrong than just tv.

Ok, but why did you assume I hadn't read up and made my own choice? You did, didn't you? That was what I objected to.

I never said you were snobbish and judgemental, nor did I say you weren't sensible.

I think, with respect, that you are reading into my posts rather more than I've said. I'm not quite sure why.

Even the OP has only asked what people think. The only person who has used the word 'judgemental' is you.

Sometimes you have to wait. Fill it with chat, a game, I spy or just being - if a child can’t wait two minutes for porridge then there’s more wrong than just tv.
A 2 year old does not understand time like we do.
Not being able to wait 2 minutes for porridge is absolutely normal at that age.
It does not mean something "is wrong"

The title of the thread is 'Toddler TV Snobbery'...

My DD hates TV! She has zero interest in it. I will admit I didn't want to let her watch TV until she was 2. But I caved and tried it anyways. She does like baby einstein on YouTube but we moved house 3 weeks ago and haven't had the internet. So I have tried her with kids TV multiple times out of desparation and she pays no attention to it at all. Don't really want to push it on her so I'm gonna try stop watching it myself as much too. It's nearly summer so there will be lots to do.

Summary. Don't like kids watching TV but a bit is fine.

'I have noticed on here people are snobs about letting 1-3 year olds watch TV...'

Don’t visit me- that’s great. I’m not saying the two things are mutually exclusive. But the chances are massively increased by limiting or ruling out screens. And conversely, the chances are significantly limited by significant screen watching. There are posters on here who punctuate their day by programmes, which is the saddest thing I’ve heard in a long time. Programme has finished so we go - not, we go because mummy has to go to work and it’s timr for school. It’s Bizarre.

Kids need to be able to get dressed, make breakfast, do normal everyday tasks without relying on a screen to pacify their way through the process.

My kids are 10 and 9 and we (husband and I) could be class as snobs of the highest level 😂. TV is never on during the week as there is no time (not that it is not allowed, it would be but we cant find the time):
Homeworks, reasearch, playing on their own or with friends in the street), eating, shower, reading time then bed.

Bought TV when eldest was 7.
They never watch TV obviously as babies and toddler but would occasionally watch a film as in Disney or Pixar or mini programs like Peppa Pig (which I hated) or Caillou.
Age 6 my oldest watched TV and I had to explain the concept of advert.

Now we have a smart TV but no channels. They watch programs on the iplayer or netflix, now tv, itunes etc.
What we didnt want is them slouching on a sofa and binge or spend the time zapping.

We want them proactive. We want them to be able to say what they are watching and for how long then turn it off.
You would not see my husband or I sit and binge either. But my husband has watched all the GOT amd i am up to date with masterchef and other stuffs i like (Dynasty is rubbish though).

It is perfectly possible to be up to date in the school playground and not watch TV everyday.

We read a lot.
We have lots of screen time to research stuffs, to do some powerpoints, to create stuffs with imovie or edit pictures, making photobooks etc.
They play some games at the week end 30 min to an hour.
Movie nights on Saturday.
We walk.
They have loads of sports at the week end.
They cook a lot.
They have very busy with their friends.
They mess around/get silly shit loads.
And generally have a lot of fun.

So for me it is do able to have a sensible/proactive approach to TV/screens.
Technology is amazing. Gaming/watching shit is not. The Blue Planet program was top notch. We learnt a lot.

It works for us. But looking back to my PND when my second was born, i could have chilled a little more and put less pressure on myself to do the right thing and let my eldest slouch in front of TV/computer a bit more.
But I am a snob and I didnt.

Each to their own. Thats my life and it works for us. My kids are really happy and balanced and that makes me the happiest.

@SarahandDuck' come on, if that isn't calling someone with my views a snob, what is?!