Toddler TV snobbery

[Notmorewashing]

I have noticed on here and in real life people (mostly middle class) are snobs about letting 1-3ish year olds watch TV.
What do you think? I allow mine at times and when I was pregnant with a child already and then two children it was impossible not to. I think it’s ok as long as you do other activities but people gasp when I admitted doing this!!

Surprised at the amount of people who can do baking, my youngest is 2.5 and would not be able to have the oven on in their presence. Couldn’t with my older ones either. Plus takes me hours to clear up the kitchen after they have raided it.
“Wet welly walk” again great If you have compliant kids.

Very few family dishes take anywhere near an hour to prep, and if there are jobs to be done, it's good for them to get involved (and a good age for this too), or to learn at least that they have a choice to help or to play quietly.

You must have met some incredible 1 year olds!!
Anyway, it's fine. Don't watch too much shit, engage with what you're watching, it's a great tool for learning. We've been having this conversation since tv was invented and it was radio accused of rotting children's brains before that. Plenty of bright, engaged children love TV and gaming. We're talking about extremes here, it's about those who do nothing else.

Are you familiar with latest advice from WHO? I hope so and hope you have your reasons for going against it.

Yep, WHO guidelines are contested by latest research that says there's no need to impose limits. Have you read the rest of the who guidelines? It's completely one size fits all and we know that doesn't work for children (or for anyone!)

I've nonissue with TV as long as my kids can turn it off when asked without complaint, are polite and there's no negative behaviour change as a result. Some days we veg in front of the tv all day, others we are out and about, or gardening or cooking, or they just play.

It has its place in life

DD (about to turn 2) is not compliant in any way. Every walk we do involves me chasing after her / her whinging at some point to be carried etc. I don’t see how that stops us going out in the rain? She has a puddle suit and wellies on and we are in the woods / park etc. What’s the worst that can happen?

Not everyone lives in the countryside

Thankfully we live in a really rural setting, so woods / trees / grass / sheep are abundant...I don't know how you city dwellers manage though!

@YorkshireLady we do have parks and there are even trees in some streets in London! We can splash in puddles in our street. Plus my DS loves to watch the big red buses and lorries and sit on the top deck of the bus and go on the tube, and we go to the zoo so often (season ticket) that he thinks giraffes are as common as sheep.

Anyway, turning back to TV. I was obviously a bit older but I clearly remember learning about Cambridge from a TV programme about someone having an interview there. Nobody in my family has been to University. I thought “I’d like to go there” and I did.

I don’t agree with having the TV on in the background (would that Childminder who does this not be crucified by Ofsted?) but days can be very long and I have no qualms at all about sitting down with DS (2.5) when we get in from the park or zoo or somewhere and watching a bit of Peppa or Duggee or Mr Tumble. We also watch a lot of songs and nursery rhymes on You Tube and his letters/numbers/colours/shapes etc are very advanced. I am however very careful to make sure he is watching age-appropriate stuff eg I think that Paw Patrol is still too “busy” for him. We often watch together rather than me using it as a way to entertain him while I do other things. He’s often standing up doing actions and singing rather than just vegging out in front of the screen.

@Sipperskipper Even with a compliant 2.5 year old it's difficult. I also have an almost 1 year old. Neither like the pushchair so dc2 is in a sling and I have a backpack. We do go on walks but if/when 2.5 year old has had enough he wants to be carried. So then I have to carry 35lb dc1, 25lb dc2 plus backpack up and down hills and slopes to get back to the car. Just because I can do it, doesn't mean it's pleasant or fun. Sometimes he loves walking, other times it's a disaster.

Plenty of family dishes can take an hour to prep if you have distractions like a 4 year old wanting help in the toilet or a mobile 1 year old. My kids can entertain themselves pretty well for their age but my 1 year old doesn’t have the attention span or patience to sit in his high chair for too long, even if he is “helping”.

I used it once my two were interested. DS was too busy to sit still and watch for quite a while (turns out he has ADHD so that definitely wasn't caused by too much TV!)

I’m not saying it’s always easy or fun - DD also hates the pushchair and won’t go in any sort of carrier or sling. I also have a very energetic dog that needs walking at the same time. 50% of the time it’s a pain in the arse, but the dog needs walking and getting outside does us all good.

And I don’t live in the countryside, but can drive to a local park / woods. None of these are in walking distance.

OP, I’m not bashing anyone who watches TV - we don’t have one because we don’t really like it. DD is very average for her age, so no TV isn’t to try and make her into some sort of genius.

But what has the countryside got to do with anything?
I grew up in a cramped Asian city with no outside space. And no TV.
My kids have only lived in big cities. Also sans TV with small or no garden including an American stint where we had literally months of snow. If it’s your lifestyle to live without TV then that’s what you do and your kids and you get used to that. So I can prep a family meal with the kids playing because they are used to it.

And yes no value judgement attached to it. I have one very bright DS and one fairly average DS. Both brought up sans TV!

I've nonissue with TV as long as my kids can turn it off when asked without complaint, are polite and there's no negative behaviour change as a result. Some days we veg in front of the tv all day, others we are out and about, or gardening or cooking, or they just play.

All of this ^

My DD1 is watching a couple of episodes of Duggee as we speak. I’ve been at work all week, aswell as keeping the house and washing going and mothering duties. It’s Thursday and I’m exhausted. She’s been at childcare (activities galore!) and groups and tomorrow we’ll be out in the fresh air all day so I’m confident a little TV in the afternoon isn’t going to damage her. I took the same approach with dd6 and her speech is better than most of her peers and she excels at and takes interest in school and other activities.

As with everything about raising kids, it’s all about the balance. A little bit of everything does them no harm and I firmly believe that going hard on one end of the scale, can be as damaging as going hard on the other. We have family boundaries around screens (as we do lots of other things) and as long as they’re expected then we’ll just crack on!

I never limited screen time with my two. Or any time with anything really. They would either watch for a while and wander off to do something else, or slobbed in front of it for hours. They were pretty good at self regulation. They had no problem interacting with others, doing sports, going to clubs, playing out, everything else, at all.

They are at uni now but can still tell you every fact about sharks (David Attenborough), count in Spanish (Dora the explorer), tell you how things are made (come outside). And they are still sociable boys who watch plenty of screen but do plenty of other things too.

I echo the balancing of tv with other activities and I do think there is a bit of snobbery out there about it unfortunately.

I think every parenting decision has someone disagreeing and anyone who would make someone feel bad about their parent decisions isn't someone I would want to be around - most of us are just trying our best to muddle through the chaos

My LO does nursery two days a week, we do messy play, a mummy work out class, visit the park often a few times a week and meet other mums and babies for coffee. So I don't feel guilty about the fact she's currently singing along to little baby bum while I have a hot drink! I need to stay sane! 😅

@TommeeTippedOver would the same theory apply to having the radio on in the back ground? I always thought that would be better, so occasionally try that instead of tv, but from what you said reg your friend I'm now questioning myself

Thank goodness for the tv when mine were little.

I had 3 under 4 and it was necessary. You have things to do.