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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Toddler TV snobbery

217 replies

Notmorewashing · 08/05/2019 08:25

I have noticed on here and in real life people (mostly middle class) are snobs about letting 1-3ish year olds watch TV.
What do you think? I allow mine at times and when I was pregnant with a child already and then two children it was impossible not to. I think it’s ok as long as you do other activities but people gasp when I admitted doing this!!

OP posts:
staydazzling · 08/05/2019 16:46

Sarah and Quack, haha yes I always, say horrible histories is wasted on kids but that is an older age bracket.

SarahAndQuack · 08/05/2019 16:47

I'm looking forward to when she's old enough for Horrible Histories. Very much!

InionEile · 08/05/2019 16:50

I used to be very anxious about TV time until DH reminded me how much TV we used to get as kids in the 80s and that we still managed to graduate with good degrees and get professional jobs and function as adults! As the youngest of 3 with a big age gap, he used to watch cartoons for half the morning on Saturdays because his parents and teenaged siblings didn’t want him waking them early. My parents used to let me sit and watch Dallas with them & older siblings in the evenings, for god’s sake. My cognitive abilities did not suffer, as far as I can tell.

Peak screen time for us was ages 3-5, when they have a longer attention span but are not reading independently yet. 4 year old DD begs for TV whenever she’s bored but 7 year old DS is happy to sit and read in his room or build Legos. There’s a certain window of time when it’s hard to entertain them with simple stuff like bubbles and play doh and jumping in puddles but they’re not ready to play / read etc independently yet either. That was when iPad games and TV time were most useful for me. No sign of ill effects with DS so far anyway.

ShinyTheMom · 08/05/2019 18:18

I only let my fifteen year old watch one hour of Caillou.

NickMyLipple · 08/05/2019 21:18

My daughter is 14 months and I can hand on heart say she has never watched an episode of kids TV at home. I'm not precious about it at all, but as an adult I hardly watch any so I don't think to put it on in the background, and nothing keeps her entertained for more than 2 minutes anyway!

Maybe I'll try it over the weekend...

MadAboutWands · 08/05/2019 21:23

I am not insecure it is definitely snobby to openly judge mothers who let their three young children watch TV in addition to other activities mentioned !!!

As long as you don’t judge women who do NOT let their under 3yo watch TV and tell them they are snobby.
Which is exactly what you have done on this thread....

Yorkshirelady · 08/05/2019 21:29

I pay good money for CBeebies!!!! Everything in moderation! My little man gets a good helping of Cbeebies / milkshake but we have loads of outdoor adventures too! Thankfully we live in a really rural setting, so woods / trees / grass / sheep are abundant...I don't know how you city dwellers manage though!

cadburyegg · 08/05/2019 21:31

Limited screen time is fine. My DS1’s ofsted outstanding nursery has iPads which are used on a limited basis. It’s when screens are used as an electronic babysitter that it becomes a problem. I personally can’t stand the tv on as background noise. When the hv came over for DS2’s 6 week check she said it was nice to see children playing with toys and not watching tv!

But I have a 4 yo and 1yo and if I didn’t put the tv on for 20 minutes in the morning and an hour in the evening I’d never get dressed or make them dinner.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 08/05/2019 22:19

My two nieces go to a childminder where the tv is on all day

Eeeeeeee no no no. Just no. An hour or so - yes - but not the whole day. Not for a childminder fgs.

clairemcnam · 08/05/2019 22:21

That is supposed to be bad for speech development.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 08/05/2019 22:22

And attention span by all accounts

BottleOfJameson · 08/05/2019 22:36

My two nieces go to a childminder where the tv is on all day
Bloody hell! I wouldn't blame the CM for putting it on now and then but why are they paying someone to sit their kids in front of the TV all day?

clairemcnam · 08/05/2019 22:38

I don't like it, but I doubt the CM is sitting the kids in front of it all day. Some people have their TV on all the time.

Clockworkprincess · 08/05/2019 22:43

I'm an awful mother - ds is 3 and home with me two days a week. I have cbeebies on until about eleven while I'm doing housework, ds doesn't watch tv all the way through, he watches his favourite programmes but will bring his toys out and play inbetween, he's very independent and will look after himself, i leave it up to him whether he watches or not. Afternoon will be walks or playgroups or chilling out, he loves reading with me and is trying to give it a go himself. Hee has a wonderful vocabulary and can tell you masses of interesting facts that i didn't know he knew from watching tv.

Planetian · 08/05/2019 22:49

BottleOfJameson they don’t have much choice, childcare options are very, very limited around here (we’re rural). My SIL has a long commute and the childminder lives very close by and is very flexible, but it’s definitely not ideal.

staydazzling · 08/05/2019 22:53

ShinytheMom GrinGrin

Stuckforthefourthtime · 08/05/2019 22:53

But I have a 4 yo and 1yo and if I didn’t put the tv on for 20 minutes in the morning and an hour in the evening I’d never get dressed or make them dinner

I'm all for regular TV, but don't think it's great if it's framed as necessary, especially for a 1 year old to be watching this much. Very few family dishes take anywhere near an hour to prep, and if there are jobs to be done, it's good for them to get involved (and a good age for this too), or to learn at least that they have a choice to help or to play quietly.
I do see a lot of threads on here complaining about older DCs who don't help out, or younger DCs who can't play independently, and wonder if it's partly because of parents who - through love and through sheer exhaustion after a day of work - are either 100% engaging or parking them in front of a screen, rather than letting children do the boring jobs, or more independent play. I've been there too, but have made a conscious effort recently to rein it in and have realised how I was relying on TV as a babysitter, like this and other pps.

Planetian · 08/05/2019 23:14

I don't like it, but I doubt the CM is sitting the kids in front of it all day.

Well she sort of is, in the sense that it is children’s tv shows that are on permanently and it’s in the main area that the children use. There’s toys there too but the allure of the tv usually overrides them. Every time I go there (I pick up my nieces once a week) practically all the children will be glued to the screen with maybe one lone ranger pottering about playing with toys. It’s pretty awful really.

Dana28 · 08/05/2019 23:20

TV should either be being watched or off. Background TV us just awful particulatly for young children

Floatyboat · 08/05/2019 23:23

I'm upwardly mobile working class and don't let mine watch it. Are you familiar with latest advice from WHO? I hope so and hope you have your reasons for going against it.

fullprice · 08/05/2019 23:40

@shitholiday2018
I totally agree with all you wrote.

Now with smart TVs we have a huge amount of choice and our children can watch some incredible things. I do believe TV can be art, educational, beautiful, and eye opening.

But Most TV is -numbing.
I also thinks it’s addictive/hypnotic.

I can’t undetstamd Why people would have it on in the background. Listening to some music if you don’t want silence would surely be better.

Also; for me, boredom is key for children and their creativity. Excess use of screens curtails this.

fullprice · 08/05/2019 23:40

I meant to say most tv is brain-numbing

foreverhanging · 08/05/2019 23:40

I'm pretty sure 21 month old dd is going to be a surgeon as I've watched so much greys anatomy around her.

Gasp as you will.

managedmis · 09/05/2019 01:18

Don't see the problem personally.

We're out of the house M-F, 7AM-5PM, the kids watch it at night while I slurp wine in the kitchen under the pretense of cooking dinner. They watch it at weekends, prob max two hours per day.

I do however have the excuse that as we live abroad it helps with their English language acquisition.

There's stuff I refuse to watch though, mainly badly dubbed rubbish on Netflix. Peppa, Thomas and Paw Patrol are their faves.

managedmis · 09/05/2019 01:20

They also watch lots of BBC earth stuff. And cooking programs.