Toddler TV snobbery

[Notmorewashing]

I have noticed on here and in real life people (mostly middle class) are snobs about letting 1-3ish year olds watch TV.
What do you think? I allow mine at times and when I was pregnant with a child already and then two children it was impossible not to. I think it’s ok as long as you do other activities but people gasp when I admitted doing this!!

I do know of one family whose children are strictly limited with regard to 'screen time'- I believe it's 30 minutes per day. Those children are incapable of amusing themselves outside of that time- their lives are as strictly managed and the result has been that they now expect to be entertained, and will follow you about the house whining that they're bored and asking what you're going to do for them.

No doubt they're a rarity, but it isn't a strategy that's ever appealed to me. The TV is on a lot here, and ds2 (now 11) has always had free access to it. He learned colours, words, foreign words and all manner of other things from children's tv when small. Obviously it wasn't the ONLY thing he ever did- days out, walks every day, family meals at the table, games, chores etc were all done as well, but outside of those things I don't believe limiting screen time is that harmful.

However, as with most things, it's how you use it. If it's the ONLY thing your kids do, then it's going to be harmful, no doubt, and my guess is it's those parents that the guidelines are aimed at.

Like with a lot of things (chocolate/sweets; soft alcohol for teens and so on) I think if you strictly deny children those things they can develop an unhealthy fervour for them in later life.

Oh, and I definitely find curling up with Sarah and Duck on my laptop is nicer than a pile of books! I like reading to her too, but there's something very nice about both of us being quiet and enjoying the same thing.

My 4 year old loves youtube he watches Ryan, blippi, someone called kev who plays roblox and many more.

Each for their own.
My dcs were watching TV when they were little until I decided that it wasnt doing any of us any good and we ditch the TV altogether as a family. Oldest dc was about 3yo and can only vaguely remember the night garden.

Lots of parents in the Silicon Valley, the same people who work designing the new gadgets, games etc... will not let their dcs close to a screen. And pay fortune to ensure their dcs go to a school wo screens.

On the other side, some parents think its doing no difference at all and its not an issue.

Both sides will be able to find 'research' proving their point.

Personally, I somehow wish I could have been stricter when they were young but wo making them a paria at school, this prove impossible.
And I wouldnt have had a TV at all when they were under 2 yo.

Mine didn't watch any TV before 3 and now (both primary age) not more than half an hour a day and the occasional film at the weekend. Don't like what it does to them. They're both perfectly capable of entertaining themselves. Not judging those who do it differently.

Never had a problem with having the TV on! I can’t stand silence and CBeebies on softly in the background was the norm when my DS was little - we would play with lots of different toys and when he was tired would watch a bit before nap. However, I still remember when an electrician came round to fix the tumble dryer - he stood in my living room and said “The TV’s on then”, tutted and shook his head - and definitely not in a jokey way!!

I do know of one family whose children are strictly limited with regard to 'screen time'- I believe it's 30 minutes per day.

Is that strict? My DCs are little (3 and 1) but during the week they don't have any screen time. However we're working parents and they are in nursery or with a nanny so have pretty active lives, they don't really miss it. But on weekends when we're home with them or on holiday they definitely get more than 30 minutes

Shodan be careful of taking the one example you have knw of a family restriciting screen/TV time and make it a generalisation.

My dcs have always been able to entertain themselves 'despite' the no TV/little screen (actually, if anything, I would expected the opposite reaction. Having always a TV on demand there to keep you occupied, that those children would sruggle to entertain themselbes wo it- The same way you no see horrified teenagers when there is no wifi).

I suspect what you are describing has more to do with the controlling nature of the aprenst there than the TV/screen limit.

To the poster above who said they don't see why watching TV is any different from reading books - it really is. Lots of research to suggest that reading books develops empathy and imagination in a way that TV doesn't. But why let science and silly WHO recommendations get in the way...

As with everything, moderation helps, but insisting that there's no problem with little children watching hours of TV when there is evidence to suggest that it's not a great thing is a bit daft, IMO - you've all got the evidence of your own kids and some anecdata about someone else who is strict with TV and has awful kids who can't entertain themselves. Learning letters, numbers, colours - all fine. But we know that too much TV does nothing for social development and does cause problems with delayed speech etc. Why pretend otherwise?

There is a fair amount of evidence that it's not good for them. I can't remember the British advice but in other countries it's no TV before 3.

That said the really noticeable evidence affects when they're watching more than 2 hours a day (which is fairly obviously too much at that age group apart from the odd day when you're feeling sick or something). I tried to avoid it but both of mine (especially the second!) did watch the odd bits of TV now or then. It's a balancing act - nobody provides the 100% perfect environment for their children, most of us are happy with good enough.

There is evidence, but it is very hard to separate out the effects of watching TV, from the effects of being in the kind of household where you watch a lot of TV (if that makes sense). If you watch a lot of TV and nothing else, sure, that's not good.

I also think that "educational" TV is a bit of a scam. Children in the 1-3 age group are definitely much better off talking (i.e. a back and forth in which they respond) to adults or other kids or interacting with their environment than learning numbers and letters from a TV show - like I said a bit of TV isn't going to do a huge amount of harm (at least I hope not as mine watched some) but we shouldn't kid ourselves it's actually educational in a developmentally appropriate way.

I'm middle class and have a three year old, and I don't know any parents who don't let their kids watch a bit of TV.

My dcs have always been able to entertain themselves 'despite' the no TV/little screen (actually, if anything, I would expected the opposite reaction. Having always a TV on demand there to keep you occupied, that those children would sruggle to entertain themselbes wo it- The same way you no see horrified teenagers when there is no wifi).
I agree. We go through phases of no TV and DD is awful at filling in her own time without it. For many reasons outwith our control, she wasn’t left to her own devices to play so she doesn’t like doing things alone now. I wish we’d been able to do it more when she was young. Replacing TV with wall to wall structure isn’t good either, but it isn’t the only way.

On the other hand, I’m perfectly capable of filling my own time, I still hate not having WiFi 😁

I also think people assume all books are equally good. And they're really not.

MIL tends to buy us books with absolutely no worthwhile content. Eg. 'Belle is my babysitter,' which is about Belle from Disney coming to babysit. It's written in semi-literate style. MIL insists we shouldn't watch TV with DD because books will make her smart.

A lot of TV is made very carefully and thoughtfully, and I think it really is good.

I agree with @homemademadness that 'educational' TV often isn't.

I was having a (middle class) panic about this the other day with my 17 month old. So I did a bit of reading.

Consensus is that anytime they are watching tv, they are missing out on social interaction with a care giver, language development, going outside etc. So the tv is not problematic, so much as what they're missing out on by watching tv.

No toddler is going to be ruined by being putting in front of CBeebies while you make breakfast / have a sick day / need to settle a fussy newborn sibling. The issue is if they watch it all day everyday and miss out on the Type of things listed above for hours and hours, day after day.

So mine will continue to watch hey dugee while I make his porridge, so he doesn't stand at the kitchen gate / sit in his high chair and whine....

Thoroughly middle class area here and paw patrol is clearly a favourite.

People tend to use TV sparingly, so half an hour in the morning while you're getting ready, then out for the morning, maybe an episode of something in the afternoon or before bedtime. I don't know anyone who doesn't allow a little TV, but equally don't know anyone who wouldn't plan some non-TV activities into the day.

My 14m old is currently watching peppa pig whilst I strip the beds. She's also playing with her dolls pram so it's more of a background thing. Much easier than her trying to 'help' me, which norm is OK but I need to go out soon so need to get it done.

My teen ds also put YouTube on for her the other day.. Was only 15 min but I was in the shower and in his words she was driving me loopy. She loved it.

From the moment mine were born, I had the TV on when we were at home for background noise. Baby TV or CBeebies. DS talked VERY early and knew his numbers by recognition at his 12 month check, the HV called people to see. Colours and the alphabet too.

Even though the TV was on in the background, there was a lot fo high quality talk, we were always reading and looking at books and various other sensory activities as well as going out a lot of course.

I couldn't care less what people think. My DC have both grown older to be articulate and intelligent, no speech issues or screen issues.

Btw, @34steps, did you mean to sound so condescending talking about 'science and silly WHO recommendations'? 'Science' isn't a monolithic entity delivering truths from on high. It needs to be interpreted.

My DCs are in their 20s now , but I remeber having the same concerns . DC2 was a 5am riser and I was exhausted . Felt so guilty letting DC1 watch videos (!!) while I dozed on the couch.
Until my DH said " It is Thomas the Tank he is watching , not Resevoir Dogs!!

I think there’s a big difference between using it as a babysitter and letting them sit in front of it for hours on end (or having it on constantly in the background) and a bit of selective viewing with you sat with them and interacting with them. I would definitely be snobby about the former and I don’t care!

Interestingly, the evidence isn't that TV is bad, it's that missing out on other things because you're watching TV is bad. So watching so much TV that you don't read books, talk to real people, play, exercise etc is bad. But it's the lack of those things that's bad, not the TV. Not getting any exercise because you spent all day reading picture books would also be unhealthy.

I grew up in the 80s and we had a tv in every room and the living room one was always on. I have a degree now and a professional job.

A lot of people who angst over screen time (ironically online) are lying about how much time their kids are in front of screens. It’s just another way to make other parents feel bad.

DD watched way to much CBeebies and aced her last SATs.

Competitive parenting is getting out of hand.

It's also about the interaction, I think.

Books are good not because there's something magic in paper that soaks out of them, but because generally, you're interacting with another person while hearing a story and looking at pictures.

You can do that with a cartoon, too. It's just you won't if you are plonking a child in front of TV in order to avoid interacting with them (not that there isn't a place for that when you really need a minute of distracted-toddler, as others say!).