Toddler TV snobbery

[Notmorewashing]

I have noticed on here and in real life people (mostly middle class) are snobs about letting 1-3ish year olds watch TV.
What do you think? I allow mine at times and when I was pregnant with a child already and then two children it was impossible not to. I think it’s ok as long as you do other activities but people gasp when I admitted doing this!!

To the poster who had the snooty electrician come round - we had the electricity meter reader come around once, clock Mr Tumble on the telly and launch into a perfect rendition in both song and Makaton of the "hello hello" song.

Sadly DD1 was not in a cooperative mood and just looked at him with total disdain but I appreciated the effort.

I have one who has incredibly advanced speech (to the extent that the childrens centre staff used to be amazed at how mature it was as a toddler) and one with verbal dyspraxia - the TV made not one jot of difference with her speech and language issues - but by heck I had the condescending lectures from professionals... at which point I'd introduce my other child and they'd rapidly change tone on that front!

I try to use it selectively - there are some amazing things on the likes of Cbeebies - in terms of educational stuff and also just Hey Duggee is fucking hilarious - but there's a lot of shit out there as well. I try to steer them away from the shit... although now they're older DD1 is binge watching Bake Off as her viewing habit of choice.

I try to restrict it (TV/screens) for 2 reasons: - 1 I found they were moodier after even 20mins of TV and 2- I believe it's not great in terms of developing a healthy attention-span, which is going to be the main issue for our children growing up.

But I wouldn't ban it or make it a massive reward as it's counter productive.

My 3 kids do not watch TV at all during the week. The youngest watches some at nursery and I think even school has some TV on occasionally. At the week-end they will usually watch a movie or two at some point. Otherwise they (binge) watch movies when we travel long-distance (over 2hours) as it's easier for us I admit. Usually we prefer movies over random TV but occasionally they may watch something more 'random'.
They used to watch TV before school and it made them moody so we stopped that. Same after school/before bedtime.
At the moment they very rarely use tabs at home (they are 8-5-2 in ages), I will try to keep it that way as school provides them with enough on that angle. We don't use tablets either so that helps. Me and my husband probably watch more than the kids as we tend to watch a series/programme in the evening though we try to make it not every day.

I restrict TV quite a lot. Never in the mornings, at the weekends. normally an hour or two after lunch (in lieu of the old after lunch nap) or else for an hour in the late afternoon before dinner if we've been out all day. Occasionally half an hour before bed. During the week, less again. The 3YO gets an hour after lunch some days and then the occasional half hour before bed. Computer/iPad time is even more restricted mainly as we don't have enough devices for everyone and they all want to have a go.

But I had 3 under 5 for quite a long time and they all want different things and 2 of them would be glued to the TV all day if allowed (the other gets bored of it more quickly). I think the difference between now and when I was a child is that there is child friendly TV available 24 hours a day. And while it's really useful and very broad with lots of educational options, (1) my kids don't always want to watch the educational options! and (2) there is no natural break/end to the TV watching. I don't watch much TV but I don't think I'm some sort of saint - I spend plenty of time on MN, insta and lots of other social media plus still read real books too so I am just taking in stimulation from different sources. I find limiting it works best for my family as my kids love their routine (god knows, I'd love to be more relaxed about when we do stuff) and this way they know when to expect TV so they chill out about it until the designated time.

You’re going to get a heck lot of anecdata and that’s fine. However there is overwhelming evidence that background notice, TVs on a loop, are detrimental to a child’s speech and language development.

So yes a bit of tv is fine.

TV on all the time. Not so much.

Am I the only one who thought this would be a thread about toddlers finally noticing that Bing is shit? "I'm not watching this rubbish, mummy, put Homes Under the Hammer on"...

Wouldn't that be great?

I went through a lovely patch earlier this year, when Call the Midwife was on, when she adored it (cos she likes babies). We got a delicate question from nursery about whether we were expecting, as they said DD kept shoving a teddy up her jumper and making realistic 'ooh! ow!' noises as she pulled it out.

But in general, yep, I could wish for more sophisticated shared viewing.

I hate TV on in the background. The noise gets inside my head. I also dislike TVs in any room other than the living room. There’s something dominating about large screens whereas I’ll happily sit in bed and watch old music videos on the tablet.

DC is limited to what TV is watched. She becomes annoying and obsessive the more she gets. I wouldn’t want it on alot because I think she might start to just expect it. But it’s fine in moderation. I like to zone out now and then and I think she does.

I have an octonauts addicted 2.5 year old. I will put television on at whatever point he and dc2 get cranky after 17.00. I quite like octonauts though, if it was something annoying I probably wouldn't put it on.

Btw, DD has just presented me with her current favourite book (a present from nursery, which I have not yet binned/hidden).

'Peppa and her friends love dressing up!

Peppa is a fairy. "I can do magic."

Susie Sheep is a nurse. "I'll make you better."'

Etc.

Aside from my irritation about gender stereotyping (yes, she's a nurse in a cute little dress, and yes, I change it to doctor when I read it), it is the most boring, trite, plotless pile of crap ever.

Yet, if you believe my MIL, reading this book over and over to DD will, infallibly, make her smart.

By contrast, watching an episode of Sarah and Duck, which is using immensely more complex and playful language, better visuals, and actually has a fucking storyline, is apparently devoid of improving content.

Anecdata, of course, but FWIW MIL is not in the slightest bit middle class, and I am. But the problem there is, it's dead easy for me to witter on mumsnet about how happy I am for DD to watch cartoons, because, in real life, very few people look at me and immediately judge me for my poor deprived child, because I sound posh and we live in a house with lots of books. OTOH, MIL brought up her children in a very run-down council house (yes, with the TV constantly on in the background, but for her DH, not for the children), and she doesn't sound posh, and so people are much more likely to judge her. That's what's really nasty about the element of snobbery here, I think.

Well I must be one of those middle class mums you talk about because I’ll admit I judge people who regularly put babies / toddlers in front of the tv.
As a one off why not, but daily!? Just lazy parenting IMO. We know it is not good for them so why do it?
My kids didn’t watch TV until they were 3.5yo and even now at 5 it is a weekly occurence, not daily!

So much depends on your own childhood doesn't it. We went to a fairly full on school from primary age, with a long commute, so didn't get home until gone 5. We would normally be allowed Neighbours and then it was dinner, homework, baths and bed with a book. When we were older we were allowed the x-files as well. And the A-team. But that was it, we didn't watch kids TV per se and never just sat in front of it unless we were ill. Didn't have sky or whatever. In the holidays we were seeing family, on the beach,in the garden etc. My kids are growing up the same because it is how we are used to family homes running.
Sometimes the kids want to flop in front of something and they have a few programs they like which is fine, but if it gets past an episode or two I suggest they go and do something else which they'll happily do.

Every time I watch Octonauts it’s always about manatees @gummygoddess

Always.

Not a bad thing - just wonder if DD is going to abscond to Florida any time soon

I'm not a big fan of Octonauts. It just seems weird to me. And rather too full of male characters being male (though I do quite like Chillington).

I was so jealous of my brother who’s child would sit and watch tv for half an hour while he got on with household stuff, my own DS had no interest in watching any tv until he was three when he became engrossed in an episode of teletubbies. I went out and bought a teletubbies dvd and he watched it when I needed to do things that he got in the way of (glamorous jobs like cleaning the toilet and taking rubbish out): tv has its place!

@PaulHollywoodsSexGut ha! That one Was the last one on! We don't have a TV licence so just order google to play it from Netflix and it plays the episodes in order so we have lots of variety. Dc likes the Christmas tree worms and wishes me a happy Christmas when that one comes on.

@SarahAndQuack I've always loved documentaries and researching the ocean so I think that's why I like it. After watching dc1 will often ask questions so we'll look up whatever creature was featured and maybe something like a YouTube video of a whale shark eating krill or something. He loves the sea life centre too, spent ages at the rock pool stroking the starfish and anemones and charming the man in charge with how happy he was. He got lots of stickers and stories from him!

Tweak the engineer is a girl, but yes, if I had daughters I would want more than two female characters out of 7. I don't know what vegimals are.

I'm very pro a bit of cbeebies babysitting but not all the time. The research suggests that the issue is not that TV damages kids, it's that it takes the place of human interaction. If you're with the kids all Saturday then put on an afternoon movie (or morning cartoons), all well and good. If they're at nursery all day, then come home, have tea, watch an hour and go to bed - or if you have regular TV on in the background all day while you're with your baby - then they are likely missing out on interaction.
This is true too of tablets. In our middle class area plenty of people are smug about no TV during the week, but their kids are on tablets all the time. Not much better!

My DS watches TV he's 3.
When he was born we spent all summer watching the London olympics.

My 3yo has YouTube (episodes of Thomas and the like) or DVDs for a total of prob on average 2h across the day (it would almost certainly be max half that if she had a normal need for sleep, but she needs so little it's ridiculous and there's so much day to fill. We also read lots and lots of books, play games, do puzzles, go into the garden, on trips, to playgrounds etc etc etc.
She's bilingual and English is not the majority language - her English is much more influenced by books than by screens.

She had no screens at all until nearly 2. Her older brothers were probably about 5 and 3 before they had any screens at all. At 14 and 11 they are now all about their daily 45 min of Youtube crap (and yes, also read, play out, blah blah).

I really don't think TV on permanently in the background is a good idea - if you need noise, radio or unobtrusive music is probably better. But I think TV is (can be) a marvellous, creative medium, which has its place in culture just as anything else does, and putting it on to watch specific, well-chosen programmes is fine. Which is why I also think a sense of parental superiority on the basis of no screens (as if screens and books/conversation/interaction couldn't coexist in the same household) is misplaced and rooted in insecurity.

Is it still really awful if it's not kids tv? We watch a lot of documentaries, quiz shows, countdown etc. In fact, I've recorded a documentary on Dunkirk that we'll watch later (DS1 currently doing WW2 at school). And we watch as a family, and talk about it - a pp said it wasn't possible, but don't most people have tivo now? I just pause when a question gets asked. Kids are smart and sociable, so I don't reckon it's done them any harm!

(I don't hate kids tv, btw, I just only tend to put it on when I have other shit to do because the noises drive me a little nutty!)

My two nieces go to a childminder where the tv is on all day. Their speech is way behind, I know you can’t know for sure if the tv is the cause, but that’s what I’d put my money on.

My first DD didn’t have any screen time until her sister was born - now they both watch for 45 mins in the morning while I shower/clean up and a half hour in the evening while I cook dinner. I hate doing this and know it’s doing them no favours but I do it to make my life less stressful. I get really worked up when I’m trying to cook dinner and one (or both) of them is grabbing onto my legs tantrumming.

They’re both good at independent play and I really try to foster that so hopefully there’s a balance. I don’t think it’s snobbery to say tv is bad for babies and toddlers - it just is.

So to those who do restrict TV when it’s pissing it down all day what activities do you do from 5am-7ish bedtime? Mine don’t just play alone for hours. Youngest wants to be on the go constantly.

The person gasped and said it’s bad and that it’s addictive therefore she won’t be starting the habit

@ASarisfyingThump no it at all.

My eldest is 5 and her favourite things to watch are:

• any thing about Henry VIII

• doctor who

• pointless

• myth busters.

My DD is 3 and watches CBeebies in the morning and late afternoon for about an hour in total a day. It allows me time to empty the dishwasher, make breakfast and dinner. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t allow their children to watch tv.

I do have a friend where their large tv dominates the room and it’s on loud all the time. I dislike going there for play dates as my DD doesn’t play and just stares at the tv.

notmorewashing we went out. Rain or not, we went out every morning and every afternoon.
At that sort if age, you have some playgroup, soft play, the (free) local museum. The park, the swimming pool etc...

I always had a plan for something to do. Children at that age don’t fond it boring to back to the same place. Again.

I a,so always ensure they would have the opportunity to jump, run, bounce etc... even if it was by running around our block of houses. By doing that, they were always much calmer and quieter at home, needing less effort to entertain and ‘TV time’

Rain-
Craft
Baking
Lego
Wet wellie walk
Soft play
Swimming
Visit friends/family
Pets at home visit
Grocery shopping