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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend badgering for money after I've just almost died. CF or am I being emotional?

227 replies

Februaryblooms · 07/05/2019 21:50

I probably sound dramatic, I'm quite upset.

I came out of hospital yesterday after falling ill after childbirth. For context i contracted maternal sepsis from group A strep infection, i had a 1500 postpartum haemorrhage and was in for 9 days in total having transfusions, fluids and IV antibiotics. Newborn DD went through invasive testing and precautionary treatment before finally being given the all clear. For a time, DP thought he was going to lose us both.

It was extremely frightening, however me and DD are lucky to be home as of yesterday and im thankfully the slow road to recovery. I'm still very weak, anemic and quite traumatised as can be expected.

A friend who has been kept in the loop and knew how much I'm struggling has messaged me tonight asking me to lend them money. AIBU to be outraged that they'd even consider it given what I'm going through at the moment. They know about it all, including how traumatised/anxious i am now. I confided in then as much.

Am I being overly sensitive or is this absolutely shit behaviour? Sad

OP posts:
HoneysuckIejasmine · 07/05/2019 21:51

Very shitty. I hope you've told them so too

Thatsnotmyotter · 07/05/2019 21:52

They aren’t a friend. Tell them to fuck off.

PotteringAlong · 07/05/2019 21:52

No, it’s shit. Just ignore it.

Flowers congratulations. I hope you’re all feeling better soon.

pumpkinpie01 · 07/05/2019 21:52

Oh my god that’s so so insensitive and thoughtless , sounds like you have been through a terrible time. Good luck with recovery. Are you going to ignore or respond ?

Cobblersandhogwash · 07/05/2019 21:52

Not a friend. Really. Bin them. Without a word.

Now focus on you and your dd. Wishing you both well ASAP.

fedup21 · 07/05/2019 21:53

How odd!

Have you lent her money before?

VladmirsPoutine · 07/05/2019 21:53

It's extremely shit behaviour. I'm not sure why you are doubting it in the slightest? It's akin to basically asking you if it's ok if she could have your Prada handbag had you died.

BastardGoDarkly · 07/05/2019 21:53

Its shocking, yes.

Have you replied? A simple... no, I can't help... should do it.

Look after yourself OP, you've been through a hell of a lot Flowers

Jfw82 · 07/05/2019 21:53

Was following your other thread (and v glad you're both doing ok) absolutely CF, how they could think it was ok to ask is beyond me!

moreismore · 07/05/2019 21:53

They are not only not a friend but the type of person to prey on the vulnerable. Ignore and block.

FannyFifer · 07/05/2019 21:53

Hope you have told her to bolt, that's not a friend.

comedycentral · 07/05/2019 21:53

Really shitty, get your OH to reply. I hope you are OK. What an awful experience.

DocusDiplo · 07/05/2019 21:54

Maybe they're desperate. Chill out.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 07/05/2019 21:54

Eugh they sound nice- don’t even bother replying OP, block and move on

Sparklfairy · 07/05/2019 21:55

That's awful. I'm so sorry for what you've been through and your friend is at best insensitive, and at worse, downright selfish. I would ignore or more likely say something like 'after everything me and my family have been through lately, your finances are the least of my problems!' Cheeky cow.

She's not a friend. Get well soon Flowers

ElspethFlashman · 07/05/2019 21:55

I actually wouldn't answer at all.

Let your silence speak VOLUMES.

Beldon · 07/05/2019 21:55

Shit behaviour from a selfish friend. Don’t even consider lending any money and I would replying asking her if she honestly thinks it’s an appropriate time to be asking - then I’d block her for a while. Hope you recover well, look after yourself and your mental health

gingerbiscuits · 07/05/2019 21:55

Utterly utterly shitty & beyond insensitive/rude- tell them to fuck right off!! And don't feel in the least bit guilty about it!!

Sparklfairy · 07/05/2019 21:57

Let your silence speak VOLUMES.

What's the saying? 'You can say more with silence than you ever can with words'

Let the tumbleweed roll I say.

Original poster
Februaryblooms · 07/05/2019 21:57

I have leant her money before yes, she's somebody who asks frequently. I've never minded transferring her the odd fiver here and there If I could spare it at the time and she does always pay me back.

Its the timing that has riled me, I literally can't get my head around how she could possibly think it's appropriate. I'm hurt that she cares so little as to impose something like that on me right now despite protesting how dear I am to her and how worried she's been etc.

I haven't responded. I opened the message and closed the thread so I could compose my annoyance before replying Sad

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 07/05/2019 21:58

Wow! What an insensitive bitch. I'd be seriously rethinking my friendship with her. Please don't lend her money. She is targetting you at your most vulnerable and that is just beyond being a CF.

CalmdownJanet · 07/05/2019 21:58

Yanbu! That is super cheeky, shut her down "Absolutely not, talk about inappropriate timing"

HollowTalk · 07/05/2019 21:58

She is awful, trying to take advantage of you when you're at your most vulnerable.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 07/05/2019 21:59

What a shit
Ignore
And get better soon - rest and rest (albeit with a newborn )?

Original poster
Februaryblooms · 07/05/2019 22:00

@DocusDiplo desperate or not I'd sooner ask everybody else in my circle or go without than harangue a traumatised new mum Confused

OP posts: