To be furious at my spineless dad?!

[LocoChanel]

I was attending a friends wedding yesterday 4 hours away from where I live, but only 15 minutes from where some of my family live. I was supposed to stay at my sisters after the wedding, as she was only a short drive away but at 4pm she text me and said she thinks they might have norovirus in the house as three of them were very ill from both ends. Being 29 weeks pregnant it obviously would be stupid for me to stay there given those circumstances. I didn't see her text until about 7.30pm, at which point I rang my dad and explained and asked if I could stay at his. He started to say yes of course, then I heard his wife in the background, he mumbled to wait a second and then said he'd call me back. I assumed all was ok but then at 8.30pm I get a text saying I can't stay as it wasn't pre-arranged. I text back and just said to not worry about clean sheets or tidy house, I was exhausted and would literally just need a bed or sofa to pass out on if at all possible, again he replies that his wife doesn't like plans that aren't pre-arranged and it won't be possible and apologising profusely. I didn't have anyone else in the area I could ask, and I didn't have enough money for a hotel so I just ended up starting the drive home and stopped for a few hours sleep in a couple of service stations.

AIBU to be so annoyed? I know it's not their fault that my sister was ill and that I couldn't afford a hotel, but the fact I literally heard him saying yes just to be told no by his wife has really wound me up. Who is that spineless they can't say to their partner that of course their child can stay even if it's not pre-arranged?

Agree. He's your dad and you should come high up in his priorities.

You should have said “your a shit dad.”
And fuck him of.

My god YADNBU. Utterly, utterly pathetic and exactly the sort of spineless mess my Fil has become since marrying his now miserable bitch wife. Pathetic. Poor you, hope you're home safe OP

That is really shit of your dad and I'd be telling him that.

I feel sorry for you but blame the right person. All he's done is obey MN law which is to back your wife against all comers.

Well his wife sounds like a right little witch.

I'd send him a text letting him know you had to sleep in your car because he is too scared to stand up to her.

29 weeks pregnant is what does it for me! Any other situation and I'd be a bit more empathetic towards such spineless behaviour!

He should be ashamed of himself!

I would wait a while to feel calm within myself and then address this with him.

You should have asked him to lend you the money for a hotel in that case and obviously never paid it back what a spineless twat.

Text him “Dad, I had to drive 4 hours home last night. I’m 29 weeks pregnant, I was so exhausted I had to stop to sleep in my car in a service station. You really let me down, I’m so disappointed in you as a father”.

Agree with the above ^ hopefully that will put the wind up him.

Absolutely not being unreasonable to be fuming and Id definitely be bringing it up

^ This
Skiptheskip

Dreadful of him! Definitely tell him how disappointed you are with him. Perhaps the pp text message?

Exactly what @Skiptheskip said. I wish I’d said similar to my own father instead of just letting him get away with spineless behaviour and not acknowledging it.

@Skiptheskip
That is a brilliant message. Use that op.

Why text him that? Pick up t phone and tell him.

Type him the message that skipforskip said....... word for word

Are we related?!! My dad is like his wife’s lapdog and does whatever she says. We are NC now following an issue a couple of years ago plus the fact I could have died in January and he didn’t even use that opportunity to make amends. I really feel for you OP as it’s horrible when someone who should love you shits on you like that.

Omg! Text him back this;

"Thanks for being a great dad, I'm spending the night sleeping in my car now at 29 weeks pregnant. Goodbye."

I simply can not understand why he would think that's acceptable.

He obviously felt bad with the apologising on the phone, so he knew he was in the wrong. He needed to step up !!!! I just can't get my head around that, he needs to be told this is not ok and you are so disappointed in him.

That's terrible! You are most definitely not being unreasonable and I would have to say something to him. They should both be ashamed

Your dad let his heavily pregnant daughter drive that distance because he couldn’t stand up to his wife. That’s really awful. If he was that weak he could have at least paid for your hotel room.

What a shitty parent.

So sorry. Do you se him often? I would have to calmly tell him how let down you felt - you should be able to rely on your dad.

I think I’d text too, in this situation.

That’s so beyond not on! What does your sister think?

I presume when baby @LocoChanel is born you wont be accepting any pre arranged visits from grandad or cruella. and i would make myself very busy when they ask.

Definitely send skips message