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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be raging my birthday cake was cut?

248 replies

Phuquocdreams · 05/05/2019 09:14

Had a big birthday party last night, I was brought an absolutely beautiful cake. After blowing out candles etc, everyone was stuffed so we didn’t cut it and sent it home. Arrived down this morning to find a huge slice out of it! We’re having a celebratory lunch with my kids today and I just assumed we would do the old candles thing with the beautiful untouched cake for their benefit. Is it just me or do you not cut a cake without the birthday girl there? I am ENRAGED, but I can’t really be with them because they were baby sitting for me....so I’m raging on here instead. AIBU???

OP posts:
RSAcre · 06/05/2019 19:11

YANBU means the opposite of what you seem to think it does.

Feck, it does, doesn't it ...
I retract & reverse!

Really struggling with how a grown woman, having had a wonderful evening full of friends celebrating her birthday, & given a cake by - as I understand it - the good folk who also did the babysitting, can then develop "rage" over said cake.

Slight disappointment? - maybe.
Rage? WTF? - juvenile princessy attitude.

Sybelline · 06/05/2019 19:16

Wouldn't have bothered me and I'm fond of a rage.

As far as I see it the cake had already been deflowered the night before when you blew out the candles and everyone oohed and aahed over it. How many times were you planning to roll the cake out exactly?

And I find it very hard to believe that not one single one of your guests wanted a slice of cake. Imagine showing everyone the cake and then boxing it up and sending it home!

Walkaround · 06/05/2019 19:18

Maybe the cake cutting was done in a moment of juvenile rage by the cake maker when the cake returned untouched from the party - if the cake wasn't going to be appreciated by its intended audience after all the hard work put into it, then they would damn well eat some, instead! Wink

starray · 06/05/2019 19:20

I think you were a bit rude not to share the cake with your guests. They might have said they didn't want any just to be polite, but you should have insisted.

RedBerryTea · 06/05/2019 19:23

Good grief, you must have an easy life if you get 'enraged' by a birthday cake being cut, after you've had the candles and the 'Happy Birthday'. You really need to keep this in perspective.

jellyfish70 · 06/05/2019 19:28

ts rude but then I'd be annoyed if I was at a party and not offered any if the birthday cake,

OP said nobody wanted any at the party as they were full so she sent the cake home for the next day's festivities.

NunoGoncalves · 06/05/2019 19:44

If I was in somebody else's house and found an uncut cake, I would never cut it and help myself to it. In fact, I'd never do that in my own house without asking whoever's cake it was first. Not the first slice! That seems like pretty clear common sense to me.

Having said that, I think you're overreacting. Enraged and fuming? No. A bit annoyed maybe but it's just a cake.

Purpleartichoke · 06/05/2019 19:53

OP said nobody wanted any at the party as they were full so she sent the cake home for the next day's festivities.

I can’t be the only one who believes this is untrue. Having been at many events where people are shamed for actually eating, I can imagine exactly how this went. oP announces she is just too stuffed for cake, which I do believe. Someone else chimes in and says the same. Then someone says something like, “we probably shouldn’t even cut the cake, unless there is someone who could actually want cake after that meal.” Cue pause where several people think about speaking up and announcing to the whole group that they would like a slice, but don’t want to be labeled the glutton who forced the cake to be cut.

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/05/2019 19:54

Def rude to cut into an uncut cake if not your own

Bbang · 06/05/2019 20:00

The sun ‘newspaper’ has written about this, stellar journalism as ever 🤔

NunoGoncalves · 06/05/2019 20:06

"Stellar" haha. Nice pun

cansu · 06/05/2019 20:07

Cake was made to celebrate birthday. Cake is meant to be eaten by self and guests at party. I can't see what there is to be worked up about.

GreenTulips · 06/05/2019 20:31

Why can people imagine a meal out with friends who then decide to go drinking after - They don’t want cake and OP doesn’t want to be laden with gifts and cake whilst drinking - so sends it home. Change of plan to share the cake with the children the next day.

I can’t believe how entitled and presumptuous some of you are being

Rachelle11 · 06/05/2019 20:36

It's rude you didn't cut the cake and share it with the people that bought it for you. That said, if I sent home a cake in a cab for the babysitters to pickup I would hope they would enjoy a piece!

Sybelline · 06/05/2019 20:50

I can’t believe how entitled and presumptuous some of you are being

It's shocking and appalling isn't it?

dreichuplands · 06/05/2019 20:57

OP you must have missed the thread about the dc's birthday parties where cakes are shown but not eaten.
It was established that it was pretty much a hanging offence for people to do this.

DianaT1969 · 06/05/2019 20:57

It's just a cake. Be grateful for what you have: friends and family who celebrate with you. One day you'll undoubtedly have bigger problems and look back wishing that the only problem you had is a cake cut by a beloved family member.

SeaWitchly · 06/05/2019 20:58

Really struggling with how a grown woman, having had a wonderful evening full of friends celebrating her birthday, & given a cake by - as I understand it - the good folk who also did the babysitting, can then develop "rage" over said cake.

Me too RSA

What a princess you are OP. I agree with a previous poster who said you should have texted your kind babysitters and offered them a slice of the cake that was on it's way to them in a taxi. Not everything has to be instagram ready Hmm And presumably there was enough cake left over after a slice had been cut out that your children could have still added some candles and sung you happy birthday before tucking in themselves.

Merryoldgoat · 06/05/2019 21:08

@Purpleartichoke

I agree with you. I’d have sliced it, doled it out and offered it round and let people take it home if they didn’t want it.

Nowadays when I go out for dinner with people I always say ‘yes!’ when asked if I want the dessert menu and say first ‘I’m going to have pudding if I want it’ otherwise you miss out.

Sheffmum1 · 06/05/2019 21:09

I would be raging too! And people who say they wouldn’t be bothered.... I bet they would!

SoyDora · 06/05/2019 21:10

And people who say they wouldn’t be bothered.... I bet they would!

Bet I wouldn’t!

Gth1234 · 06/05/2019 21:19

I reckon you should have cut the cake and sent people home with a piece. It's a bit WTF to have a nice cake, and not cut it. What's the point. how much cake can you eat yourself?

Sybelline · 06/05/2019 21:25

It was a stunt cake. OP would have stuck candles in it the next day for her kids, have them sing Happy Birthday, blown the candles out and then promptly packed the cake away again. She'd have done the same with the in-laws. She'd then have brought the cake into work tomorrow and repeated the process. She'd be dragging that cake around for weeks demanding people sing Happy Birthday to her.

NunoGoncalves · 06/05/2019 21:41

And people who say they wouldn’t be bothered.... I bet they would!

Lol. No seriously, some people really don't get worked up about such inconsequential things!

Rachelle11 · 06/05/2019 23:06

I really would not be upset about this. I would have hoped the babysitters would help themselves if they wanted some. I am not precious about things like this at all.

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