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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be raging my birthday cake was cut?

248 replies

Phuquocdreams · 05/05/2019 09:14

Had a big birthday party last night, I was brought an absolutely beautiful cake. After blowing out candles etc, everyone was stuffed so we didn’t cut it and sent it home. Arrived down this morning to find a huge slice out of it! We’re having a celebratory lunch with my kids today and I just assumed we would do the old candles thing with the beautiful untouched cake for their benefit. Is it just me or do you not cut a cake without the birthday girl there? I am ENRAGED, but I can’t really be with them because they were baby sitting for me....so I’m raging on here instead. AIBU???

OP posts:
Nogoodusername · 05/05/2019 10:49

It’s really rude to cut into someone else’s uncut cake. Fine to take a slice of a cake that’s already been cut. First slice? No way, that’s the birthday girl/boy’s prerogative!

Blonde87 · 05/05/2019 10:49

You are ‘raging’ that your birthday cake was cut 😂 how old are you? 5?

daisypond · 05/05/2019 10:50

Very odd to cut into someone else’s uncut birthday cake when they weren’t even there. I’d be annoyed.

Daenerys77 · 05/05/2019 10:50

It's a bit irritating but hardly something to be 'raging' about... first world problems

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/05/2019 10:50

They weren't at the party

The whole cake arrived in a taxi

They cut and eat part of an untouched birthday cake.

I'd be planning on gushing about the cake, opening the box in front of everyone and then crying

Sod all the Uber polite doormat comments about it being a fuss over nothing. It is your birthday cake, yours. They were extremely selfish and rude. You are allowed to feel as pissed off as you want.

SolitudeAtAltitude · 05/05/2019 10:55

Personally I think it is unbelievably mean spirited to not have cut the cake and handed out pieces at the party.

You said nobody wanted cake...

But if you did not cut it and handed out pieces, you did not really offer it.

The cake cutter made a point about this.

You were in the wrong, imo

derxa · 05/05/2019 10:56

Slice slice slice.....

category12 · 05/05/2019 10:57
e1y1 · 05/05/2019 11:01

Yanbu! You don't cut an uncut cake unless it's yours. Once cut, it's fair game and a free for all, but the first cut - no.

UnRavellingFast · 05/05/2019 11:02

Your candle blowing wish would have been entirely negated by not immediately cutting the first slice of cake with a loud scream. Surely you knew this? So the magic had gone and I'll bet the delightful and kindly relatives who gave you the blooming cake and heroically babysat your kids, assumed you were as thoughtful as them and had sent the cake home in a taxi so they could celebrate with cake whilst missing out on the party. Happy Birthday!

strawberrisc · 05/05/2019 11:05

Rage is not unreasonable at all. When I used to babysit as a teenager I was always told to 'help myself' to anything in the fridge (even wine which I found odd and never did).

I can't remember every taking anything but if I did it would be a packet of crisps or a yoghurt maybe. I wouldn't slice into a ham hock!

Charleymouse · 05/05/2019 11:11

YANBU

You don't cut someone else's cake. The birthday girl gets to make the first cut and make a wish.

Bang out of order. I would be raging as well. A cake in a box is not public property.

Once cut however is a different matter.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 05/05/2019 11:12

Bit how did you offer it?

If someone offers me cake that's not cut, I will say no, because I would want it to be cut for me, that would be making too much fuss. But if it was cut, I would accept.

So my point it is, if you offered a slice of an uncut cake, then that's not even offering properly.

Having said that, it's rude to cut someone else cake.

So you were all BU.

Dubbadubbadumdum · 05/05/2019 11:12

delightful and kindly relatives who gave you the blooming cake and heroically babysat your kids, assumed you were as thoughtful as them and had sent the cake home in a taxi so they could celebrate with cake whilst missing out on the party.

Or maybe they're just greedy cheeky fuckers who selfishly thought "sod the birthday girl, I want some cake" and cut a chunk each. OP I wouldn't care who they are, I'd call them on it. Ask why they cut your cake, and why they wouldn't wait until you got home, whatever excuse they have, I hope they have the decency to be shamefaced when they realise the kids have missed out on helping to blow out the candles with the actual birthday girl.

UnRavellingFast · 05/05/2019 11:16

Or squeeze the cake inwards to fill the gap, have a laugh about it and do the candle blowing and cake cutting again instead of making a drama that the kids most definitely won't enjoy.

SoyDora · 05/05/2019 11:18

The OP said she’s having multiple additional celebrations with family which I’m sure the DC will be involved in. I imagine there will be more cake and more candles.

LarryGreysonsDoor · 05/05/2019 11:20

Let me get this straight.

You went out to a restaurant, had a party.
Family members stayed at your house to babysit while you partied.
You then went on to a bar and sent the cake and other stuff home in a taxi.
Said family member, who are at home missing out of the party, answer the door to a taxi containing a cake.

Initially I was with you and thought it was rude to cut the cake.
Now I think it was rude to send the cake home and expect the people who have missed the party to sit there and look at it while you get pissed.

notangelinajolie · 05/05/2019 11:20

I wouldn't be bothered - cakes are fair game in my house.

But we are all different and your family and friends know you better than anyone so I think they were out of order cutting it if they knew what your reaction would be. Being a bit of a drama lama I would at this point have made my feelings known to the perpetrator.

jellyfish70 · 05/05/2019 11:20

Very cheeky indeed! Out them with a photo on FB or whatsapp or whatever you use. "Who has helped themselves to my uncut birthday cake?"

DarlingNikita · 05/05/2019 11:23

Oh, it doesn't matter. Do candles and singing with the kids. Make a joke of someone not being able to wait for their slice. Cut the rest up and dole it out. No drama.

jellyfish70 · 05/05/2019 11:24

Taxi driver was alone with the cake......

FookMeFookYou · 05/05/2019 11:24

I would be raging but I have a thing about ppl messing with my food. I like food designed to be whole to stay that way until I decide to 'break' it

GabsAlot · 05/05/2019 11:24

it is rude to cut someone elses cake-but u dont wish on the first slice u wish when the cancdles are blown out

i paid for my dsis 30th cake it all got cut up at the party so people could eat it-if u didnt want it cut you should have sent a note home to say u wold be doing it the next day

diddl · 05/05/2019 11:25

" I thought it would be nice to have with all the family today including my kids and the babysitters)."

But there's still enough for this-maybe except the babysitters?

Girliefriendlikescake · 05/05/2019 11:28

I can't believe you didn't cut it at at your party! I would have been 🙄😒 at someone getting a beautiful cake, blowing the candles out and then sending it home rather than sharing it out!!!