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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be raging my birthday cake was cut?

248 replies

Phuquocdreams · 05/05/2019 09:14

Had a big birthday party last night, I was brought an absolutely beautiful cake. After blowing out candles etc, everyone was stuffed so we didn’t cut it and sent it home. Arrived down this morning to find a huge slice out of it! We’re having a celebratory lunch with my kids today and I just assumed we would do the old candles thing with the beautiful untouched cake for their benefit. Is it just me or do you not cut a cake without the birthday girl there? I am ENRAGED, but I can’t really be with them because they were baby sitting for me....so I’m raging on here instead. AIBU???

OP posts:
Original poster
Phuquocdreams · 05/05/2019 20:27

Cake was shared with all and sundry at noon today with a cup of tea. Rage over, I confirm it was a very nice cake!

OP posts:
DrFoxtrot · 05/05/2019 20:36

I'd have been pissed off too OP but would still have lit more candles for today's guests, with either a hole in the cake, or maybe some flowers or something to cover it. I'm glad you've all had a piece now.

Purpleartichoke · 05/05/2019 21:56

It was leftover cake. People are allowed to
Eat it. Just because some people at the original event made a show of wanting to pass on cake, doesn’t mean it wasn’t leftover cake. It’s not like anyone who wanted a piece could actually chime in and point out that it’s rude to present a cake and then not cut it for your guests.

GreenTulips · 05/05/2019 22:06

Have you read the thread about the bride who went for a wee and another guest guzzled her wedding breakfast? I’m sure that was ‘left over’

It’s not your unless someone asks first especially a full decorated birthday cake

Macandcheese05 · 05/05/2019 22:23

cutting someone elses cake is rude as fuck!

did they apologise or even act ashamed. i would have said "Oh, i was hoping to take a photo".

or gone and told DC they couldnt blow the candles out like i had planned because grandma already did it and when they cried i would have explained it was because the cake was cut Smile

NCforthis2019 · 05/05/2019 22:31

Stop being so dramatic op - are you 10?! You chose not to serve the cake!

jellyfish70 · 06/05/2019 15:37

It was leftover cake.

It wasn't, it was a new, untouched cake. Rude to cut and eat without checking.

Arkenfield3001 · 06/05/2019 17:35

Wouldn’t have happened to me as I would have automatically offered my babysitters a slice ! That would have been the gracious thing to do ... I would be happy for them !

FelicisNox · 06/05/2019 17:35

I would want to know who did it: you don't help yourself to someone else's birthday cake without asking 1st, it's basic good manners (interesting to see on this thread who clearly lack those manners).

It's not normal, it's not ok and it's not unreasonable to be bloody pissed off that some CF helped themselves to something that A) doesn't belong to them and B) didn't know there were plans for.

It's not any old cake, it's someone else's birthday cake... not only are they CF but they're greed fuckers with no self control.

Don't lose your shit OP but find out who did and make it clear you are upset and explain why.

Some of the comments on this thread are ridiculous. If you're that bloody desperate for cake then you need a word with yourselves. 🙄

Vivianebrezilletbrooks · 06/05/2019 17:41

Its rude but then I'd be annoyed if I was at a party and not offered any if the birthday cake, I always believed it was traditional that everyone has a slice of cake, like at a wedding. Annoyed yes but raging? Nope. You're not a child. It's just a cake! Hmm

TigerTooth · 06/05/2019 17:59

Wouldn’t bother me - you’d had the party for which she paid for the cake - what was sent home was essentially leftovers - ,cut or not, she probably wanted to try it, see if it was nice since she’d paid for it - it’s not like she ate it all! You’d finished with it. I do think YABVU and rather childish.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/05/2019 18:02

I think unless it’s your own birthday cake you should probably always check it’s ok to cut the first fucking huge slice out of it. Especially as an adult

This ^

There is something searingly beautiful about cutting into the pristine icing of a celebration cake.

It touches the very soul.

I would have been raging (inside, probably, under the circumstances).

TBH, I wouldn't even cut the first slice off someone else's batten burg, no matter how desperate for cake I might be.

MargotLovedTom1 · 06/05/2019 18:13

Can't believe the saccharine shot about the 'birthday girl' and making a wish. Grown arsed women getting in a strop about a cake. Just be appreciative that someone gave you a lovely cake and also looked after your children so you could have a piss up with friends!

MargotLovedTom1 · 06/05/2019 18:14

Shit not shot.

skybluee · 06/05/2019 18:15

This thread is ... something.

I can't imagine the cake journeying home in a taxi by itself, like it had had its night out and now was returning home to bed.

Why don't you ask the babysitters what happened?
Maybe they got it and thought you didn't like it, you hadn't cut it, and they were upset?

Knickerthief · 06/05/2019 18:22

Someone stole a tier of my wedding cake. It was a long time ago and I'm over it now.( actually I know who she was ....cake thief ...and it still shows on her hips) yes , well over it Angry

Yinderling · 06/05/2019 18:22

I would have been a gutted as a guest to not have a little slice of cake.

I obviously wouldn't have cut into it but would have been a bit surprised.

recrudescence · 06/05/2019 18:27

There is something searingly beautiful about cutting into the pristine icing of a celebration cake. It touches the very soul.

I needed a laugh today. Thank you.

OrangeSunsets · 06/05/2019 18:37

YWVVVU to not cut the cake even if people didn’t want it! To be raging that someone had a slice? Grin

RSAcre · 06/05/2019 18:46

YANBU for calling yourself the birthday "girl".
YANBU for wanting a second shot at blowing out the candles. It's infantile. Unless you are still 10 years old, in which case YANBU for being out drinking cocktails.

DishingOutDone · 06/05/2019 18:56

sounds greedy they couldn't wait? Why buy you a lovely cake then spoil it for you? I don't understand why you were upset before and its all giggles now?

Mumofone1593 · 06/05/2019 18:59

Whether you should have cut it at the party or not, how can the babysitter have so little self control they can't wait til the next day for some cake? And you were at a cocktail bar after dinner so it must have been 8/9 at night? Your babysitter so desperately needed a late night snack they had an uncut birthday cake before bed! Hope the sugar kept them up Grin Why are so many people thinking this is normal? (Also my parents offer to drive up and babysit on special occasions so doubt OP kept them home like prisoners as some are suggesting!)

DishingOutDone · 06/05/2019 19:00

Oh and another thing (on a swiss roll here), for those posters who are saying it doesn't matter and that you are at fault somehow, should the Op have simply given the cake to the people who wanted to eaten it, as in allowed them to take it home? After all, they paid for it, and the prime mover in getting cake on this thread seems be if you want it you must have it.

Come to think of it, why did they buy you a cake? Why not just buy themselves a cake?

Lweji · 06/05/2019 19:01

@RSAcre

YANBU for calling yourself the birthday "girl".
YANBU for wanting a second shot at blowing out the candles. It's infantile. Unless you are still 10 years old, in which case YANBU for being out drinking cocktails.

YANBU means the opposite of what you seem to think it does.

Cherrysoup · 06/05/2019 19:07

I’d be fuming if someone cut my pristine birthday cake. That’s very poor etiquette. Birthday person only gets to do that. So what if they were babysitting? Presumably they weren’t forced?