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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell him to go back at the 1850’s?

154 replies

Caffeineprincess · 04/05/2019 19:54

So my OH is getting more and more annoyed about the lack of service..

Backstory we have a DS, who is 2, and I work 4 days a week, from home but it still pretty full on. OH works full time and is on nights ATM.

He complains that I do not cook enough, that I should have food ready for him when ever he wants it.

Today I’m shattered, so I bought pizza, this is not good enough.

He said what’s the point of having a woman at home if I can’t have food now.

I do all childcare and housework and I do cook most days.

I told him to go back to the 1850s, as have had enough of this treatment

AIBU?

OP posts:
TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 04/05/2019 19:55

And you're married to this dinosaur because...?

Nnnnnineteen · 04/05/2019 19:55

Not at all. I think you were actually quite restrained.

formerbabe · 04/05/2019 19:57

He said what’s the point of having a woman at home if I can’t have food now

Ask him why you are having to go to work and earn money when you have a man in your life?

Unicornshopkeeper · 04/05/2019 20:00

Is this a change of attitude or has he always been a dickhead?

I couldn't be with someone who treated me so badly. Plus in a few years time your DS will mimic his behaviour

Beachbodynowayready · 04/05/2019 20:01

Maybe buy your dc a chimney sweep outfit....

MaverickSnoopy · 04/05/2019 20:01

My eyes just popped out of my head reading that!

Why are you working if he's "providing"?! 😉

Seriously though, there's a HUGE imbalance here.

HelenaDove · 04/05/2019 20:03

What formerbabe said. Its funny how these men want a 1950s service................oh but wait with 2019 bits thrown in.

nocoolnamesleft · 04/05/2019 20:04

So, you're working 80% of full time, he's working full time. And you're doing all the housework and all the childcare. So your total work is a metric fuckton more than his. Why isn't he cooking for you?

(Okay, yes, nights are a total bitch, but even so)

ICE50 · 04/05/2019 20:05

He's being unreasonable.

Mammylamb · 04/05/2019 20:06

He’s a cunt

formerbabe · 04/05/2019 20:06

What formerbabe said. Its funny how these men want a 1950s service................oh but wait with 2019 bits thrown in

Exactly!

Fivebyfivesq · 04/05/2019 20:07

My OH does all the food shopping and all the cooking. I’m on mat leave and he still does it. Because IT IS TWENTY NINETEEN and women have the vote and everything

EdWinchester · 04/05/2019 20:08

Ugh. Why are you with him?

Flamingnora123 · 04/05/2019 20:09

Wow, what a fuckwit.

Aprillygirl · 04/05/2019 20:12

So many of these kind of posts lately. Put up with being treated like a downtrodden maid or don't, only you can make that choice.

MikeUniformMike · 04/05/2019 20:12

Surely he should provide for the family, including paying the servants' wages.

cstaff · 04/05/2019 20:12

Well he sounds delightful OP.

Laodamia · 04/05/2019 20:13

what’s the point of having a woman at home if I can’t have food now.

He didn't suddenly turn into a dinosaur did he?

pointythings · 04/05/2019 20:14

You were very restrained. Any partner in that situation saying that to me would have been wearing pizza, or would possibly have had a pizza enema.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/05/2019 20:16

Well you know the answer to that then, go out. That way you won’t be at home.

Quartz2208 · 04/05/2019 20:18

So you work 80 of what he does and do 100% of everyone else and he still complains

Tell him unless he steps up and does something he wont have a woman at home and wil find he has to do 100% of everything by himself

DarkAtEndOfTunnel · 04/05/2019 20:18

You're working 4 days, and he thinks he's keeping you as a woman in the home??

My dad was like this to my mum. I hated every minute of living in their house and got myself out at the first opportunity. I suggest you do the same.

These kind of men do not want partners, they want slaves. Is that what you want to be?

Yinderling · 04/05/2019 20:19

He will get worse. What is the point of him?

MiraculousMarinette · 04/05/2019 20:19

Are you from a culture where women are generally oppressed? Just to give us a better understanding of your situation?

AssassinatedBeauty · 04/05/2019 20:20

Why are you with him? He thinks women exist to serve men? No. That would not be happening and I would permanently remove myself and my child from his toxic attitude.