AIBU to demand school let my daughter go to the toilet whenever she needs to?

[Janel85]

DD is 6 and has been having repeat urine infections since November. She has had kidney ultrasound and has a mild drainage problem. Long story short ended up in hospital last night because dd caught a bug. Couldn’t keep down any water or antibiotics and hadn’t been a wee in over 12 hours. The mild kidney dilation will be investigated further but doctor thinks the reason for repeat UTIs at DDs age is likely to be down to stagnation, holding onto her wee for too long because she feels uncomfortable going at school. Spoke to DD and apparently the policy of her teacher is that the children can only use the toilet at break times and snack time and if you ask at any other time then the answer is no. I think this is making my daughter very ill and it’s wrong AIBU?

@intheheat

Flexible with those with problems. A little harsh on those who haven't but they do get plenty of chances.

1 bottle is more than enough, they can refill at lunch if desperate.

What I don't understand is the complete lack of self-reflection on the part of schools about all this.

I mean if the best answer is 'ban students from going to the toilet and/or drinking water' then what on earth was the question?

If schools are so shit at maintaining discipline and/or interest in learning that they fear abuse of the right to go to the loo when you need it, then surely a more systemic solution is needed?!?

The same for bullying and sexual harassment. You can't solve problems of discipline/harassment/bullying/disinterest or high student/staff ratios by banning the use of toilets. Talk about treating the symptoms not the cause!!

Infection occurs commonly with pediatric dysfunctional elimination syndrome. The normal bladder is resistant to infection because of its ability to wash out and eliminate bacteria with every urination. If urine is held too long or is incompletely discharged, bacteria may increase.
The high pressure generated by muscles straining against themselves may break down the one-way mechanism of urine flow, which normally prevents urine from going back up into the kidneys from the bladder. It may also impede the flow of urine from the kidneys into the bladder.

childrens.uvahealth.com/services/pediatric-urology/dysfunctional-elimination-syndrome

Just thought this worth repeating from above as I didn’t bold it all

The National Union of Teachersown guidance on toilet issues in mainstream schools notes that:
“Having set times for access to the toilet can cause “I’ll go just in case” practices which means the bladder doesn’t get used to holding on until it’s full. Over time, the bladder capacity can reduce, increasing the need to visit the toilet more frequently.

Miss, have you seen this?

@Jessica

Yes I have seen it.

As a teacher I never stop a child from going to the toilet, you know the ones who go for a skive. You can say oh that’s twice you’ve asked in the last half hour I’ll have to phone home and ask them to take you to the doctor etc, that usually stops it.

Yes I have seen it.

And you realise you’re ignoring the National Union of Teachers own guidance? And you’re not going to reflect on that?

sweetkitty another sensible teacher following guidance. Great job.

@jessica

If you read my posts you would realise I do make exceptions and I am flexible.

You aren’t following guidance, clearly. This isn’t about ‘exceptions’ for conditions, but about best practice.

@Jessica

I'm not the only teacher/school to have this rule you know?

I'm not the only teacher/school to have this rule you know? so? You’re the one here on this thread. You’re not even following your own unions guidance! Not a good look.

YANBU... I had the same issue as a child and when I was in year 4 it was pretty bad. So the school allowed me to have drinks at my desk in class and I didn't even have to ask if I needed the toilet. I could just get up and go.

@Jessica

And what about the kids who mess about, ask to avoid? Are you saying that every request should be granted? Because that is unreasonable to expect.

I have 2 with medical reasons and they go when they need without asking

Are you saying that every request should be granted? Because that is unreasonable to expect.

Why? It's certainly my expectation as primary school teacher.

I think we've been here before with one particular pretty much illiterate poster.....

@Feenie

You have never told a child to hang on? Wait until playtime?

The only time I say anything close to that would be 5 minutes until playtime, in which case I'd be likely to say 'it's playtime in 5 minutes, can you wait?' And sometimes they still can't, and that's fine.

@Feenie

Thankyou. Sorry if the tone of my question came across wrong. The previous poster seemed to be indicating that they should be allowed on demand.

The previous poster seemed to be indicating that they should be allowed on demand

Surely you understand all schools and classes are different....

The previous poster seemed to be indicating that they should be allowed on demand.

They should be allowed when they ask or, as other teachers have implemented, nobody asks, they have a system so the teacher can look at a board and know who is in the toilet if needed. It’s reasonable to ask if they can hang on 5 minutes, but unreasonable to say no if they cannot.

You’re still not following guidance. If you have a problem or question around the guidance, talk to your union, ask them to help you improve as a teacher and manage the simple task of children using toilets. I mean god, any teacher who has this much of a problem with children using loos when needed ought to reconsider their profession.

They should be allowed on demand!

@Jacques

Yes of course. I realise that a no toilet policy may not work in every class/school, the same as I couldn't manage with an open door policy.

@Jessica

That is the point. My policy works for me and my class and the children who need to go do so.

I realise that a no toilet policy may not work in every class/school, the same as I couldn't manage with an open door policy.

Your responses are centred around you, and not what’s best for the children. You make exceptions only for those with a medical condition. You don’t follow the teachers union guidance and ignore the reasons they give for it. You shouldn’t be teaching if you don’t listen to your own Union and make children hold on.

@JessicaWakefieldSV

While maybe not the point of the thread, I am not aware at any point that Miss Buxton has said she is a member of the NUT, so why do you keep saying "your union"?