Engagement party disaster

[tonymac]

NC as potentially outing.

I had my engagement party on Saturday and it descended into slight chaos. To me, usual family drama, which ended up in a bit of a scuffle - my partner was joint equally to blame for it all - along with some random distant cousin who I've not seen for years.

I was annoyed, ofcourse I was - but I've been around long enough to know these things happen. I'd have preferred it didn't obviously, but I had a bit of a moan when we got home, and then put it behind me and forgot about it. It was an excellent night bar 5 minutes at the end and for me, it can all be forgotten about.

However, one of my friends (who was right in about it all and gave my stepfather a total mouthful of abuse for telling her to go away and stop antagonising the situation) just won't let it go. She's messaging me daily asking how things are and if my partner is still trying to make it up to me. Going on and on about how ridiculous she thinks the whole situation was and how she's so hurt for me. I do appreciate her concern and I know she's just looking out for me, but all I really want to do is forget about it. It's water off a ducks back for me and what's annoying me most is everyone still talking about it a week later.

AIBU to tell her for the millionth time that it's fine and I'm over it and no I'm not leaving DP for it, only with a sprinkling of back the heck off before we fall out included this time?

No, SGB, that'll be you.

Lol SolidGoldBrass is that you? I have missed your contributions in Relationships

"Wanking themselves crosseyed"... I'm snorting snot everywhere laughing

And it's also usually the people who have managed to make it into at least their late 20s without ever meeting anyone who isn't just like themwho get the most pant-wettingly excited concerned about witnessing a fight, or meeting someone who is LGBTQ, or being in a room with someone who once took some drugs.

And the award for the most specious conparison goes to...

I do agree the friends reaction is abit annoying. But then I find anyone who revels in the negative ignoring the positive unappealing. Mil is like that. I took pils on a day out, out for lunch, weather was beautiful etc. Got home accidentally set fire alarm off. Dh gets home mil doesn’t even mention the lovely day just a gleeful “mstswift set the fire alarm off”. Oh do fuck off.

Inwardly chuckling at idea of fight within my extended family the most gentle self effacing group ever . They have sleepless nights of guilt over the tiniest thing the “victim” won’t have even registered

Drama? Tell her that if she really wants drama, watch Eastenders or whatever and change the subject as you are getting bored now.

Not quite sure how the LGBTQs have been dragged into this, but my gay DB is even less likely to throw a punch than DH, and that's saying something.

And my misspent youth spent inhaling class As certainly suggests that lot are more likely to talk someone's head off or tell them how much they love them, than get into a punch-up.

But don't let that stop SGB wanking herself silly, as ever, over the opportunity to sneer at the 'mundanes' as she calls herself people. Because you've got it all figured out, right?

Although I don’t think it’s precious or snobby to be abit taken aback by physical violence amongst adults.

Just wanted to add to the list of people who have reached their mid-40s and never seen a scuffle or fists thrown at any social gathering they've attended. In fact, even on a night out in town, I've only ever seen a punch thrown once. And it was just the one, as the guy on the receiving end went down out cold.

It was the most exciting thing that's happened to her in her life so she is still excited by talking about it. She's a very sad person. Ignore her.

@ReanimatedSGB oh my is there any need to be so rude. You really feel that instead of celebrating with your bride to be and your family about the upcoming marriage you get into a brawl with your cousin and embarrass yourself? Really?

Mouthfuls of abuse, drunken punches, but it happens, it’s no big deal confused
It really doesn’t, op, outside the set of Shameless.

Oh, I don't know. I once went to a wedding where the reception ended with thr groom having a stand-up row with his mother-in-law, followed by a brawl with the bride's brother, friends of them both ended up getting involved and fists were flying everywhere. This was with a naice middle-class family, very affluent, in a leafy stockbroker part of Surrey.

To add to the fun, I was in the kitchen bleeding into the sink from a 2" gash in my scalp, sustained when a loudpseaker fell off a wall bracket and landed on my head. The groom's lovely uncle drove me to the hospital, waited while I was stitched up, and drove me 30 miles home.

It does sound like your friend is really enjoying this bit of drama and wants to drag it out. I’d want to know what the abuse was that she was shouting which helped to escalate it.

I’ve seen a fair few scuffles in my 40 years at different celebrations. One a wedding, another a first birthday party. My dad never drinks alcohol at a funeral do no matter the time of day as he’s witnessed many arguments and fights when alcohol and emotions are mixed.

Whether the norm or not I shouldn’t think anyone wants to still be going on about it after a week. It’s a shame if a whole party is overshadowed by a 5 minute scuffle.

That's the other thing with the people who are somehow proud of the fact that they have never seen anyone else get into a silly, drunken scrap that is over within minutes. They're incapable of recognising the greater danger - or at least tiresomeness - posed by a manipulative, attention-seeking drama llama like the OP's friend. If you're in the position of being able to squeal and hyperventilate about how 'Eww, violence is so common' then good luck dealing with any truly malevolent people you might encounter in the future. You won't see them coming, you'll fall for the concern trolling, and then something really nasty may well happen to you in terms of gossip, rumopuor mongering etc.

Or maybe we're much, much better at it.

Yeah definitely the problem is not male violence but the way manipulative females have encouraged it.

Great worldview, much enlightened.