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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for hilariously crap excuses you’ve been given?

275 replies

MatildaTheCat · 03/05/2019 18:54

I will start with one I recently received.

I have an old school friend who I have very sporadic contact with via email. When I contacted her for a catch up recently I made some reference to ‘we must get together some time,’ as you do.

She emailed me back a few days later with her news but added that she couldn’t commit to getting together this year because last year a pipe in her (adult) daughter’s bedroom had leaked and she needed to decorate her room. She doesn’t have a job or any dependent children just to be clear. Hmm

If she’d ignored that comment although or said she was up to her eyes in it OR even said ‘not really into meeting up’ I wouldn’t have cared at all.

It made me laugh anyway. So what totally silly excuses have you been offered?

OP posts:
PerfectionistProcrastinator · 03/05/2019 22:05

I once made arrangements with my sister. She was helping me with something that would take a few hours. I phoned her to talk through the details and her then husband got the hump and I could hear him in the background saying “I thought we were meant to be going to buy a new bin today” Hmm

EchoCardioGran · 03/05/2019 22:07

Baloon's story reminded me of a former work colleague who suddenly became incapable of working his one Saturday out of six. He cited "childcare problems" since he had split up with his wife, claiming that now he had sole responsibility for his son, and could not leave him on his own.

Someone pointed out that his son was 15 years old, and lived with his Mum full time. Dad was in fact travelling several hours each way from his English base every weekend to see his adopted footie team. Celtic saw more of Dad than the son did.

LemonMousse · 03/05/2019 22:08

Being in charge of the ‘late book’ in a Primary School a parent arriving with 3 children at 9.30 am said ‘Sorry we’re late - we’ve had some bad news’
I formed my face in to a suitable sorrowful one to sympathise with the death of a grandparent or family pet to be told ‘JLS have split up’

Orangedaisy · 03/05/2019 22:08

I once didn’t stay for a drink after a go ape date because I had to go to Homebase. Buying paint was more important to me than longer with him. Bizarrely he kept pursuing me for date 3.

miggeldysthepres · 03/05/2019 22:10

In fairness the cold sore excuse isn't that bad. The first one can be extreme. My first one swelled so much I couldnt close my mouth and was in absolute agony

Baloonphobia · 03/05/2019 22:10

JLS have split up GrinGrin

StealthPolarBear · 03/05/2019 22:18

What?! When did that happen?
I'm going to have to cancel work on Tuesday!

HerRoyalNotness · 03/05/2019 22:22

At my mothers house and she had a proper go at me as I was off to the movies with my dad and sister, how selfish I was and she wanted to spend time with me. Long story, but I’d been at her house for 2 weeks and she’d been away on holiday. She had said why didn’t you see your dad during the 2 weeks? So I went to get ready and overhead her furtively speaking on the phone “yes, yes, I’ll be there, don’t worry, she’s going out”

ThT was the moment I realised what an utter, manipulative bitch she was/is.

elliot18 · 03/05/2019 22:23

Oooo theres one from an old boyfriend

I found messages to a girl on his phone, ask the him how they got there.

'Well someone at work stole my phone and saved this girls number in it and then started to text her'.....

me: 'this has been going on for 2 weeks?!.....

him: 'well yes my phone was stolen every day at work and then I would find it again, they used to steal it when I was in the pub too'.....Hmm

Safe to say we didn't last!

MorrisZapp · 03/05/2019 22:28

'yeah I'm phoning in sick innit' - best line ever!

My mum cancelled a trip to see my very ill, very old gran because her 26 year old lodger had got nits and she had to stay and help.

That one isn't funny really in fact it still pisses me off years later.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 03/05/2019 22:28

I had set my class a piece of long-term homework, to be done over the course of half a term. One child brought in a note from their parent on the due date saying, "Sorry, Billy couldn't do his homework because he had a head ache."

billybagpuss · 03/05/2019 22:33

I’m a piano teacher so get more than my fair share of excuses for non practice.

My favourite to date:

I couldn’t practice the piano because my violin was out of tune. 😂

TheInvestigator · 03/05/2019 22:33

When I was in uni, we were all meeting at the pub and then going out. One of our friends called and asked us to wait for him as he would be late because his mate was coming along but had to wash his hair first. We all took the piss out of that... Then he turned up with his friend and that man had the most amazing head of hair I have ever seen. He really did need to wash it before coming out or it would have been a right mess!!

LittleDoritt · 03/05/2019 22:35

This will totally out me but I managed a girl who made a massive fuss about going to Paris for a long weekend. The whole department heard about nothing else for weeks in the run up to her going. On the Tuesday she was due back to work we didn't hear anything from her. On the Wednesday she called to say that she would be off for a few more days as she had such bad jet lag.
In fairness I've never been to Paris so it could be that the journey back to London is more arduous than I would imagine...

Illy603 · 03/05/2019 22:36

A friend failed to reply to my message (around 9:30am) when we were supposed to go out for lunch. I got a message the following day at 12:15pm saying she had fallen asleep and just woke up to my message ☺️

TheActualAlexa · 03/05/2019 22:37

One winter morning circa 2006, a colleague called in to say he was “snowed in” hence wouldn’t be in work. This particular fellow lived in the centre of a large town about 30 miles away and there had been some snow flurries in some areas, so a credible situation. But we were intrigued as there had been no snow in our location. So we went online and found a webcam round the corner from said colleague to check out the apparently wintry scenes. Not a spot of the white stuff, just bright sunshine!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/05/2019 22:41

A fellow community worker who was always about to have her appendix out ... no matter what it was that needed doing the excuse was the same, though admittedly it was different people she shared this "confidence" with

You'd think she'd have invented something different occasionally - or even realised that people compare notes

PenCreed · 03/05/2019 22:41

Friend who cancelled a weekend meet up (arranges several weeks in advance) because her mum was up for the weekend. May well have been true, but she cancelled the day we were due to meet and must have known her mum was coming several hundred miles at least the day before. That was just one of a long line of cancellations and her never being the one to rearrange, and she wonders why I stopped contacting her.

ThunderOnlyHappens · 03/05/2019 22:41

I had a friend say she couldn't come on our long planned city break because it had been snowing. Yes it had, but it had all thawed out. She really just wanted to have some time with her new boyfriend who turned out to be a tosser . I went still and had a great time but it has tarnished our friendship. Her loss and she still paid for half the hotel and train fare

pumpkinpie01 · 03/05/2019 22:59

My mum volunteers in a charity shop and the same colleague has rung in twice saying she can’t come in first time was ‘ the dogs are asleep on me I don’t want to disturb them ‘ and secondly ‘ I have no clean clothes ‘ some people!

MissCharleyP · 03/05/2019 23:39

When I got engaged to my ex we were thinking of getting married in Scotland (lived N England so not a hugely long way). My mum immediately said “Well we cant come, your dad won’t be able to close the shop.” They ran a bloody paper shop, not Harrods! This BTW was before we’d even set a date/looked at venues - it was just an idea. Then when I did get married (abroad, just the two of us) to DH she had a massive sulk that we didn’t do it here. Tough!

HazelBite · 03/05/2019 23:51

I phoned my yunger sister up to tell her our Mother was dying in hospital, (thinking she might want to see her) to which she replied "what do you expect me to do about that I'm having a dinner party tonight"

washinglions · 03/05/2019 23:52

A former colleague of mine phoned in sick one morning and said he felt really poorly. Fair enough. Sheer coincidence then that his favourite football team were playing in some match or other in Paris that evening. The next day we got another call from him saying he was still ill in bed.

That evening I was watching the news on tv. There had been a strike of some sort in France and all transport in the country had been brought to a standstill. Including the ferries. Which would explain why my colleague was clearly not ill in bed but on camera in one shot, standing folornly with a load of other football fans on the quayside in Calais waiting for their non-existent ferry home.

His bad luck that our boss was watching the news and saw him as well Grin

Bunnybaubles · 04/05/2019 00:11

I dont know if this even counts but it's so funny i have to share!

My daughter, who was 13 years old at the time, wanted to break up with her boyfriend and sought advice on how to go about it gently.

So when she came home I asked how it went. She said "Oh it went ok, I did what you said and told him "Its not me, it's you..." 😂

BadLad · 04/05/2019 00:13

My friend cancelled meeting me for drinks once, because a girl smiled at him on the train to get there.