When a waitress calls you 'dear'

[Rafabella8]

What does everyone think of this? Regardless of age (late 40s in my case) I find it pretty condescending and patronising to be called 'dear' by a waitress. However friendly they are being. It happened to me today - how would you react?

I think it would depend on tone of voice, and context, for me. I think there are some areas where it is perfectly normal and acceptable, so it wouldn’t bother me there, and if it wasn’t said in a patronising way, it wouldn’t bother me either.

I don't mind. Prefer that to service with a grudge and a grimace TBH.

I’d take it as the term of endearment/friendly gesture it was intended and respond in a similarly friendly manner. Then I’d go about my day and not be at all troubled by it.

I like it. Where I grew up people of either sex will call you "my lover" and I love that too. I'm all for endearments from strangers. It makes things less impersonal.

I think it's just another informal "name" like lover or sweetheart or love etc.

Would you have preferred ma'am?

Pfft. I'd find something more pressing to worry about!

I find it pretty condescending and patronising to be called 'dear' by a waitress.

Is it ok to be called 'dear' by someone else?

Whatever, it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Depends on tone. A colleague called me sweetie today in the most condescending manner today but if somebody just casually tossed sweetie onto a normal sentence, wouldn't bother me. Same with all endearments.

I just work with the intent rather than the execution. Was she trying to be patronising or was she trying to be nice?

It’s a term of endearment to some people.

I’m so fed up of this terminally offended bollox tbh

People being nice and friendly with no malicious intent doesnt offend me.

Some people call everyone dear, it depends on the tone of voice and whether they're calling everyone else that or just you/ just people over or under a certain age/ just people of the opposite sex...

It could be creepy from a man to a woman, or condescending... it could also be utterly normal friendliness. You already know though, from the tone etc.

A lowly waitress being overly familiar? How very fucking dare she. She obviously doesn't know her place. I hope you gave her both barrels Hyacinth.

'Ma am'? Noooo not at all - just a friendly Hi - what can I get you. I guess I just expected equality round the table. I noticed it happening on the next table too. The women were 'dears'.

However friendly they are being. It happened to me today - how would you react?

I wouldn't react. A trivial thing that requires no reaction. Just smile and let it wash over you.

I think some people have a bit on an addiction to being offended and the moral righteousness endorphin boost that follows.

@HairyCakeLemon I’m so fed up of this terminally offended bollox tbh

And me, its bloody tedious

I prefer dear to ma'am (makes me feel old). Sweetie is perhaps a bit much for an adult, ok for tots.

'Sorry, what?' with a

Usually does it.

Here they say “alright my lover”.....I can assure you this is not factually correct.

@TooTrueToBeGood 🤣🤣

managedmis but why, they haven't been rude!

Get a grip @TooTrueToBeGood . That's not what I meant - at all. It was a waitress - that was the situation I was in. It could have been any stranger in any situation.

'Sorry, what?' with a

Are you being serious? Good god that’s pathetic

ffs - so many people too easily offended