When a waitress calls you 'dear'

[Rafabella8]

What does everyone think of this? Regardless of age (late 40s in my case) I find it pretty condescending and patronising to be called 'dear' by a waitress. However friendly they are being. It happened to me today - how would you react?

It would not even register on my Giveashitometer.

I love this sayings I find them very nostalgic

Dear

Luvvie

Etc

I have no issue with them

I work in a place where political correctness does not exist. In the course of one day i get called everything from Miss, to Love, to Petal, to Treacle, to Mate, to Florence (dont ask).... I am quite happy with all of them!

I think OP's getting an unfair lambasting here, I see 'dear' when used colloquially as as slightly patronising term reserved for older women.

I'm from the North where 'luv' is routinely used and whilst I'm not a fan, it's a pretty all encompassing term, (bus drivers often call blokes 'luv') and it doesn't feel disparaging in the way that 'dear' would.

Ahh this made me feel a bit sad. My mum used to call everybody “dear”. She died when I was a teenager. It’s not a word I hear much now. It wouldn’t bother me if someone called me dear though.

If it was someone older than me then I would be fine with it. Someone younger than me and I would be pissed off!

My logic is probably squiffy though!

Theres a woman who works in a shop where I live and she calls everyone dear etc

What would you like dear?
Is that all pet?
Will you need a bag darling?
There you go now pet.
Bye dear.

That's just a small example.

Not in the slightest. DS preschool teacher in her late 50's often calls me dear, love, pet, she is a really kind lady. A young girl in the hospital shop called everyone in the queue pet or love, I thought it was nice.

I don't think I would mind if someone was significantly older than me but someone of a similar age or younger would get a mental eye roll. Not keen on terms of endearment form stranger at all really.

Oh aye forgot about love.

"Does it really matter? It’s not like she said Hi bitch, what do you want is it?"

Quite!

I couldn't imagine being offended by someone kindly addressing me in a colloquial term. Today I've been called duck, chicken, lovey... As long as they're friendly and polite I don't care.

Prefer it to when staff call me babe when i don't even know them.

When people are offended over 'everything'

Wouldn't bother me at all. Where I live everyone is Love. I like it.

Too many threads being started by people who think they’ve discovered a new ‘issue’ that will really get AIBU going.
Be honest pet, it didn’t really bother you did it?

Oh heck i must serially offend people 🤷‍♀️ i call people sweet it just a friendly term used a lot in my neck of the woods.As far i know i have never offended anyone but if i had i would rather be told but hey ho .

Rabbitty, are you always that condescending and patronising? Wow. You are, most certainly, not worthy of being called 'midduck'.

I loath posters who do this, it makes me cringe.

@Rabbitty, wow, that's just mean. And petty.

I think of all the issues and problems that affect us as an individual and society being called ' dear' or 'love' by someone who is using it as a friendly greeting and wishes no harm on me and is trying to be nice isnt a battle that I'm going to fight.
As ever,context is everything.