When a waitress calls you 'dear'

[Rafabella8]

What does everyone think of this? Regardless of age (late 40s in my case) I find it pretty condescending and patronising to be called 'dear' by a waitress. However friendly they are being. It happened to me today - how would you react?

So no, it's not a male/female thing.
I was just going by your initial reply, where it definitely seemed like it.

Bit of an extreme reaction regardless, probably something worth exploring.

I don't mind a female waitress calling me 'dear', but I do mind a male waiter/taxi driver etc. calling me 'love' in that patronising way that some do.

Iust have a glint in my eye as noone has tried 'dear' on me.
I get called love when I'm up north but I'm happy with that.

Then I would be a little aggrieved also.

I got called Sweetheart by a Curry’s deliver driver last week and he called our builder, mate. It was irritating but nothing to complain or get worked up about. I just said thanks dude and he stopped and looked at me curiously.

I wouldn't worry about it as long as the service is everything else it should be, such as prompt and polite.

@HairycakeLinehan

'Throttle' was merely a term used to describe my inner torment at a person more than half my age calling me 'babe'.

In other instances I'm ever so polite and non-violent, babe 😘

Inner torment?

Yep, definitely worth exploring that.

"Sorry, what?' with a hmm

Usually does it."

Will you follow this up with a withering "Did you mean be so rude?" 🙄

OP Madam is professional and acceptable from a stranger

Madams work in brothels

I guess I just expected equality round the table. Seriously? You were in a coffee shop! May I suggest that in future you stay at home if you're so easily offended. As a PP commented - we are not trolls purely because we disagree with you. The majority view seems to suggest, rightly, that you are wrong and have nothing better to do with your time than find offence where none was intended.

@isyourgooglebroken

People being nice and friendly with no malicious intent doesnt offend me.

completely agree!

Where I grew up people of either sex will call you "my lover" and I love that too Devon?

What an odd thing to worry about.

I like being called 'duck'. I would be thrilled if waitresses (or anybody else) called me that.

I wouldn't be offended at other endearments really, but 'Duck' would make me very happy. :)

Dear oh dear, OP!

I’m so fed up of this terminally offended bollox tbh

Yes it's getting so ridiculous now. I don't imagine these people would cope well with real problems if something so utterly trivial causes this much upset.

@BluntAndToThePoint. Nope. I didn't say where I was or how formal or informal the setting.

Bluntandtothepoint it could be said that you and your cohort have nothing better to do than post in disagreement on a thread that OP had a write to post.

I often disagree with threads; some days I don't post because it's all bollocks but to me, this thread is less offensive than every single Royal one that's trotted out for vile responses.

*right to post

@Hairycake

I'm on the phone to my counsellor as we speak, to 'explore' my issues.

Actually OP, I don't agree that there is any reaction to be done, other than being nice back to them. They are only being polite after-all unless they are being intentionally condescending it's really not worth getting worked up over (or metaphorically throttling anyone, apparently).

I wouldn't mind at all. I quite like gentle endearments.

@gokartdillydilly
Your male boss calling you babe is really inappropriate, most companies now do not allow this kind of language.
OP I can't stand shop staff calling you love, sweetheart etc it's just odd from a stranger.

@gokartdillydilly and that's exactly how I handled it. I was friendly towards her.

No problem with that - people are generally just trying to be pleasant and friendly. No wonder people won't chat to anyone these days - don't want to case offense.