To stop mentioning kids at job interviews

[AlwaysHangryy]

I've had a few interviews since having kids and have none got any of them. When they ask about me I usually mention I have two kids and have been a stay at home mum for two years blady blah and I never get any of these jobs.

Before having kids i use to get whatever job I interviewed for so I'm not sure whether it's down to me and I'm rubbish at interviews now or it's down to me mentioning my kids.

I've kind of given up applying for jobs as I just never get past the interview stage.

before children I could say no to jobs I didn't want because if I ended up homeless or in a crappy situation I only had to worry about myself

Yeah... most normal adults find it incentive enough not being made homeless with or without kids.

A 39yo single parent with D.C. can apply for financial support
A 39 yo person with no D.C. have more limited options

Oh that's good they can "apply" for all that support we throw at unemployed parents.

Childrem, today, in this country don't have enough food. Are living in cars with their parents. Food bank use at an all time high.

There's a long standing poster on another thread who is terrified because she's about to be made homelss after her housing benefit was cut with no reason. She can't couch surf. She has a kid. The council are doing fuck all. And if she doesn't pay rent with the money she hasn't got, she has intentionally made herself homeless.

. most normal adults find it incentive enough not being made homeless with or without kids.

Well, actually most normal childless adults take risks with employment daily. That was my point, they can take some jobs, and say no to others hoping another one comes along.

But even if you want to call me abnormal (nice) you DID just prove my point. Most people with children now have further responsibilities and even the abonormal ones like me will make the effort that they would not have made previously

I am actually shocked that people can take issue with the concept that a parent might have more incentive to not take risks. The whole of humanity is based on the concept of parents being prepared to die for their children.

But here, people take it as some sort of fucking personal slight. Get over yourself.

It's really hard to explain what you've been doing for years without mentioning dcs.

they can take some jobs, and say no to others hoping another one comes along

I can see your point but it's really not true for a lot of people.

If I turned down a job in the hope another might come along, I could lose my house and end up in a lot of trouble. It's not a risk I have ever or would ever take whether or not children are involved.

There is equally a potion of society who don’t have the luxury of risk taking - perhaps they don’t have many qualifications, have health issues and live in an area of high unemployment - many people are scared to lose their jobs and can’t just walk into another and not simply because they have children!

I think it’s very naive to make out like all employed single men and women are high flying and educated - it’s not true! The guy or woman who cleans offices may have done that job for years and have very limited other skills. Doesn’t make them any less afraid to lose their jobs or find new work

Having DC does not automatically disable you into having no opportunities, but a persons circumstances and life choices may have. They are not the same. I work in predominantly female workforce and having D.C. is not something that would ever prevent someone de getting a job but it isn’t a good reason to give someone a job based on their skill set of parenting

The only thing I mentioned at interview other than a brief mention of 'parental responsiblities' was that during my career break, I had served on two committees - one as treasurer, and the other as chair.

That seemed to go down all right.

I just wrote ‘career break’ (6 month gap when made redundant on mat leave).

Do any of the PP claiming superiority because they have children not genuinely see the hypocrisy ?

For decades women fought to be taken seriously for our minds and professional ability and now people want us to be given extra points for having children? We want people who don't have children to be seen as less dedicated than us? When we fought so hard for people not to see us as unreliable? The hypocrisy is genuinely disgusting.

It's wrong that men don't get asked the same question absolutely ,but let me ask this do you think men are in general going around saying Kevin should be promoted because he has children and is more dedicated to keeping his job than Dave is because he can't have children?

No they are bloody not

Let me tell you the entitled aspect is some mother's makes it so much fucking harder for every other woman to be taken seriously.

It's really damn hard to convince an employer to employ you on your merit when the woman before you twittered on about how she is so much better than her childless counterparts ....it makes us all look like idiots.

I am practically the poster child for strong independent women ...im senior in my industry and have two young children. I have fought sexism along the way and support the women that I work with with everything I have got, but I also support the men too and I don't appreciate people making it harder by spouting this entitled clap trap (not you OP I am referring to some PP 's theme).

@Shinyletsbebadguys

Love this. Spot on

It's really damn hard to convince an employer to employ you on your merit when the woman before you twittered on about how she is so much better than her childless counterparts ....it makes us all look like idiots.. Yes @Shinyletsbebadguys.

I've recruited thousands of people. I am not interested in your kids or how tired you are with a toddler blah blah. I'm int in whether you can do the job. So if asked 'tell me about yourself' talk about your skills and experience. Why on earth would you sit and chat about your kuds? It's a job interview not a coffee morning at toddler group.
I can see why you aren't getting offers!

I used to work a lot of retail/waitressing/bar work type jobs in my student days when I had three young DC at home. I never once mentioned them because I knew damn well I wouldn’t get the job. It’s sad but true, they are far less likely to hire you if you have children purely because you’re less flexible.

I mentioned them when I went for my teaching post and I think it was part of the reason I got the job. It depends on the job I suppose but most min wage jobs don’t want to hire people with children.

I have always worked FT and only took 4 months mat leave with DD.

In spite of that, I still noticed that suddenly I couldn't get a promotion, although I'd always got every one prior to having a child. I didn't tell people at interview, and I had no employment break, but I was of the age where it seemed likely, so I suddenly became far less employable.

I am actually shocked that people can take issue with the concept that a parent might have more incentive to not take risks.

You're not very clever then, are you?

'I've recruited thousands of people. I am not interested in your kids or how tired you are with a toddler blah blah'

Quite right. Why on earth do people think it's ok to blether on about their kids in a professional situation?

Well, actually most normal childless adults take risks with employment daily.

Citation? Because that looks like a ridiculous generalisation from here.

Well, actually most normal childless adults take risks with employment daily.

In my line of work, this would actually happen to be true.

It holds equally true for the married parents at the firm, though. It's just the way we work in a high-pressure, high-stakes environment.

@ParrotWithACarrot yeah I agree. As stated before, I would much prefer hiring older people who apply for positions in my restaurant. We're about 90% under 22s which is great for my labour costs but less so for the diversity! And it's much easier to cover a quiet Tuesday morning for a parent with a sick child than it is a busy Saturday morning when someone is too drunk to come in

@Shinyletsbebadguys - absolutely!!

I've never told anyone at interview that I have children, it's totally irrelevant. Like telling the nursery staff what you do for a living. They're not interested! I'd say I had some time out to care for family and leave it at that.

My new boss didn't have any idea I had a 1yr old until I told him.

Haven't looked at this thread for a while but I notice that a comment I made has caused some debate.

I said it is "possibly" relevant that as OP is a parent she might be more likely to stick with a job than a single person with no similar responsibilities.

People might find this offensive but the statistics above do support the fact that people with dependents are more likely to seek/ hold down employment. To quote the ONS:

"In April to June 2018, of those people aged 16 to 64 years living in households with dependent children, 6.2% were living in workless households, down 0.1 percentage points on the year. This compares with 12.7% of people aged 16 to 64 years living in households without dependent children who were in workless households."