To stop mentioning kids at job interviews

[AlwaysHangryy]

I've had a few interviews since having kids and have none got any of them. When they ask about me I usually mention I have two kids and have been a stay at home mum for two years blady blah and I never get any of these jobs.

Before having kids i use to get whatever job I interviewed for so I'm not sure whether it's down to me and I'm rubbish at interviews now or it's down to me mentioning my kids.

I've kind of given up applying for jobs as I just never get past the interview stage.

Why are you talking about your children when they ask about you? Your children are irrelevant to the job they are potentially hiring you for. Concentrate on demonstrating why you have the skills/experience/ competence for the role.

I feel ya! I've applied for a few jobs this year, met all the criteria, interviewed for one but didn't get it.

I too used to pretty much get any job I wanted before having two kids and being a SAHM for 5 years.

Have you asked for feedback? The one I went for said I interviewed really well, but another candidate had more relevant experience.

Also, love your username as that's me too! Sick of being hangry all the time

Well it's difficult to not mention when they ask what have I been doing in between the time of my last job and now.

Don't they usually say "tell us a bit about yourself"? Plus on application forms it says to list any volunteering you've done, so I always put the PTA and the volunteering I do in my kids' schools.

My last post was to TheBulb by the way.

Exactly, on the application form it says to explain any gaps in employment.

You do need to talk about yourself and skills you bring to the table

I’ve genuinely never been asked an open-ended question about myself at an interview, and while obviously the employment history part of my CV lists maternity leave, I’ve never been asked anything about it.

I don't think mentioning your kids is the problem. It certainly hasn't ever stopped me from getting any jobs.

It's more likely to be associated with your lack of recent experience. You don't have to hide the fact that you've had a career break, as presumably they'll have seen it from your CV anyway. However, in the nicest possible way, they're not really interested in your kids so don't talk about the time you've had off as it just emphasises it. You need to focus on relevant skills and experience for the job.

If you're asked directly about the time you've had off, be honest but talk about what you've done to keep your knowledge/skills up to date during that time - but don't try to pretend that you've learnt transferable skills from being a mum, unless you're applying for a job in childcare, as it just sounds a bit stupid!

I had a year off after my mat leave as took voluntary redundancy, I got the first job I interviewed for and was V open about my dc, taking a year off with ds and being ready to get back to career. I also had childcare arranged so was able to show that I had planned accordingly.

Ps how else do you explain the gap in employment?

I would try to gloss over any discussion about family as far as possible but ....

You have been out of the jobs market for 2 years but maybe other candidates haven't. So unfortunately, even if you are better than these other people, some employers will mark this down as a negative.

So what you need to do is work out why you are just as good as these other candidates. Has something changed in the field you work in in the last two years? If so how have you kept up to date? If not - emphasise the fact to the interviewer.

Also agree (and sad though it is) - do not talk about skills you have gained as a parent - however hard parenting is and however much it has made you better at your job, no one can give an independent assessment of what you have been up to during your mat leave/ SAHM time, so it is not relevant to an employer.

Possibly relevent is the fact that as a parent you have a far greater incentive than a single person to work hard and keep your job in order to support your family.

I wouldn't give too many details, rather focus on the fact that you made a positive choice to take some time out from the workforce (i.e. you weren't sacked) and have developed/continued developing your skills during that period.

You don't need to directly mention your family, simply say that you've been lucky to be able to take a couple of years away from the workforce (why is your business) and during that time, you've been involved in XYZ that's relevant to the job.

If you've been totally focused on your family over the past two years and haven't kept up your work skills, you might want to consider taking a course or getting involved in something now that will boost your CV. Good luck!

I think it depends on the job. If it’s a demanding position you have to make clear that you aren’t going to be their main carer any more.

Possibly relevent is the fact that as a parent you have a far greater incentive than a single person to work hard and keep your job in order to support your family.

Please don't say anything as ridiculous as that in an interview.

When they ask about you, say:

I am a marketing assistant, I have worked for XYZ and ABC Company, I achieved 123. I am really interested in this job as...

I have had family responsibilities for the past 2 years, now I am very keen to return to fulltime work, and this role seems great as...

They don't care about your personal life, just can you do the job and be professional.

When they ask you about you they do NOT want to hear about your kids! They want to hear 'i have XX years experience in XXX. I'm qualified in XXX. My main skillset is xxx'. Have a list of bullet points about why youre the right candidate and practise them! If they say, 'whats this gap in your employment', say 'i was fortunate enough to be able to take two years off to spend with my children. I'm now ready and very keen to return to work.' and stop there!

Great minds @Fr3d ! :-)

When they ask about the gap just say "I was on maternity leave" and then completely drop it, no extra info. It's none of their business and it's irrelevant. Immediately move the conversation back to yourself and your own skills and experience. Talk about how you kept up-to-date in the time you had off.

Before having kids i use to get whatever job I interviewed for

Were you already in work when you went for those interviews? That almost always makes you much more attractive to potential employers.

It’s not just in your head! Even small hints that a woman might have children has been shown to reduce her hiring prospects. There’s a ton of bias against mothers, often unconscious.

“Stanford University researchers sent otherwise-identical men’s and women’s resumes to hundreds employers with only one slight difference: an added line about being a member of the parent-teacher association, hinting to employers that the applicant had kids. Women’s resumes with the PTA line were half as likely to be called back as women’s resumes without it, while interestingly, fathers were called back slightly more than childless men.”

www.forbes.com/sites/emiliearies/2017/05/25/should-you-mention-your-kids-in-the-interview/amp/

Possibly relevent is the fact that as a parent you have a far greater incentive than a single person to work hard and keep your job in order to support your family.

Do not say this or anything similar, for any reason. A) it's not true and B) you have no idea about the interviewers' childrearing status. Lord above, if someone said that to my lovely friend who's the head of HR at a major firm and who can't have kids...actually, she would be absolutely professional about it. (Which is why, I suppose, that she has the job she has. I'd be incandescent.)

Possibly relevent is the fact that as a parent you have a far greater incentive than a single person to work hard and keep your job in order to support your family.

I hire regularly, and this would be a red flag for me. Do not, under any circumstances, say this or anything along the lines of it.

What I would actually understand, as opposed to hear, if told would be something along the lines of:

Firstly, I display a possibly troublesome lack of empathy for people in a different life situation to myself. Secondly, I happen to think that something extremely ordinary that most people do at some point in their lives makes me, in particular, special. You'll have so much fun bein the boss of me!

Hope that's not too brutal, but that's how it would come across to me.

Don't go there, OP.

Well it's difficult to not mention when they ask what have I been doing in between the time of my last job and now.

How long a break was that?