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AIBU?

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Original poster

to not want traditional fairy tales used in DD's class

405 replies

Blankiefan · 01/05/2019 20:09

P1 5yo DD's class are doing a range of activities around Fairyland being lost. I don't hear any chat from dd about anything challenging gender norms. For example, she tells me they are making a castle for sleeping beauty this week so the handsome Prince can come and wake her up. Obviously I've discussed the consent issue with her. This seemed to be new news...

AIBU in wanting a chat with her teacher to check on the truth and encouraging some challenge... or will I be "that parent"?

OP posts:
viques · 01/05/2019 20:42

Hell yes OP, you go girl. Those 12 dancing princesses, wearing their shoes out dancing every night, I bet they never thought about the poor little shoemaker children in a third world fairyland country sewing new ones with their little bleeding fingers.

Or how about Hansel and .gretel, did no one warn them about the dangers of obesity, diabetes and tooth decay from a sugar overloaded diet.

And what about Jack? Did his widow woman mummy not warn him about talking to strangers even when they have pockets of beans, or climbing up beans talks and actually walking into a strangers castle.

And Thumbelina!! FFS surely everyone knows that if you find a tiny child in your garden you inform social services and go through a proper fostering adoption procedure.

Geraniumpink · 01/05/2019 20:42

Counteracting the stereotypes of fairy stories at home seems like a good idea - but you have to know the original stories to enjoy the humour. School can still be horrifically gendered - especially primary.

Emma090 · 01/05/2019 20:43

Not sure if your DD is Reception or Y1 but this is part of the National Curriculum so if the school follows the NC they will have to cover them. From Year 1 English Reading Comprehension:
‘becoming very familiar with key stories, fairy stories and traditional tales, retelling them and considering their particular characteristics’
En1/2.2a/iii

BogglesGoggles · 01/05/2019 20:43

Well the prince kisses her to break the spell and therefore it’s a good thing bevause he is the hero. Really not a reasonable context to discuss consent because it confuses the issue. By all means do teach consent. It’s very important. But don’t make wild connections between fairytales and real life issues.

Iwantacookie · 01/05/2019 20:44

Op I agree with you.
From a very young age girls are presented with fairy tales where they learn certain messages.
Yes attitudes might of changed since the original were written but we are in 2019 now and these very very basic messages are what our girls are learning. Is that really what we want?

FusionChefGeoff · 01/05/2019 20:46

When we played princesses in the park the other day, the brave princesses were going to rescue a knight who'd got kidnapped by a dragon.

It takes effort, but, at this age, you do it at home.

If they were peddling gendered shite about looking good and being feeble at age 12 I'd have more of an issue with it.

jasjas1973 · 01/05/2019 20:46

Fairy tales can trigger a child's imagination & encourage reading from an early age.... secret castles, dragons, dwarfs, elves, wolves, Princess and evil mirrors... all absolutely brilliant.

There is a reason these stories have stood the test of time, anyhow... can you OP, prove that they are not factual?????

Chouetted · 01/05/2019 20:47

My own self was one of my favourites as a kid.

Here are several versions of it www.pitt.edu/~dash/type1137fairy.html

Doesn't really have any gender issues in it - you can tweak the genders and it makes no difference to the horror of the story.

Southwestten · 01/05/2019 20:47

Viques Grin Grin

Jossina · 01/05/2019 20:47

I think you're right to be worried Op. Aside from switching schools or homeschooling the best thing to do is make sure your daughter is getting another view point at home. From both her parents. You could also consider talking to the teacher. Seeing what other stories are being read/told. For example, if there is a hero or a doctor is the character always male? Encourage your daughter to ask questions in class. For instance, why does the princess need a prince to wake up? Is there ever a sleeping prince that needs to be saved? Why not?

maddiemookins16mum · 01/05/2019 20:48

The world is going mad. Go on, speak to the teachers, you’ll give them a right laugh in the Staffroom.

Maybe83 · 01/05/2019 20:49

I really really really cant get wound by shit like this.

RedSkyLastNight · 01/05/2019 20:49

Not sure how Prince kissing her to wake her from 100 years sleep is much different to giving mouth to mouth resuscitation? Or are you also suggesting that no one should do that as the unconscious person can't consent?

GabsAlot · 01/05/2019 20:50

i never thought it was rape in the first place if he doesnt kiss her she stays that way forever

rwalker · 01/05/2019 20:50

wow
but fair play for your reply

53rdWay · 01/05/2019 20:51

Didn’t he rape her in the original fairy tale? May be wrong there.

Yes. She gives birth to twins, and as they crawl up her sleeping body trying to breastfeed one of them sucks the splinter out of her finger and she wakes up.

ASmallMovie · 01/05/2019 20:52

Children (and adults) learn so much from fairy tales.
I was very happy for my kids to hear them and watch them and then, when they’re a bit older, you can teach them all about critical thinking.
They can then re-visit all the classic stories from that critical perspective, and they’ll have a lot of fun and learn even more about our world from that.
I think this kind of approach is much more beneficial for kids than for a parent going to a 5-yo’s teacher and asking them to change or, even worse, avoid all these incredible stories.

quizqueen · 01/05/2019 20:53

I bet that prince now wishes he's left that girl asleep forever after all the stick he's getting. Then parents like yourself can be accused of being guilty of 'sleepicide'!

Sofagirl · 01/05/2019 20:54

I saw the kiss was symbolic of the fact that love can break chains

Should we stop holding peoples hands and kissing loved ones in comas because they can’t give consent?

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 01/05/2019 20:55

The prince had to kiss her because she was bewitched so if he didn't she'd stay asleep for ever so consent would be fucking hard to give. Also you need to give your head an almighty wobble. How do you think all us grown arsed feminists got to think the way we did growing up on fairy tales?

Geraniumpink · 01/05/2019 20:56

The original story was the already married prince raping her her sleep and going away again for nine months.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 01/05/2019 20:56

Yes I’ve discussed the monster eating you as a consent issue in not now Bernard
A safeguarding alert that is.a monster not seeking consent before it eat ya

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 01/05/2019 20:56

We always discussed them in the historical context they were written in, talking about how girls had very few options etc. Nothing to stop you doing that with her.

WoWsers16 · 01/05/2019 20:56

OMG- yes you will be that parent and yes staff will probably appease you to your face- but honestly- this is where the world is going mad and snowflakes are just taking everything so seriously and running the simplest of things.
Not everything has to have a dirty secret or meaning to it- it can be a story, things can just be a fun thing to read- honestly it’s pathetic

WoWsers16 · 01/05/2019 20:58

And also if you are getting heated up about fairytales- maybe homeschool is the way forward as there’s plenty more to come that you won’t agree with I’m sure!!