to not want traditional fairy tales used in DD's class

[Blankiefan]

P1 5yo DD's class are doing a range of activities around Fairyland being lost. I don't hear any chat from dd about anything challenging gender norms. For example, she tells me they are making a castle for sleeping beauty this week so the handsome Prince can come and wake her up. Obviously I've discussed the consent issue with her. This seemed to be new news...

AIBU in wanting a chat with her teacher to check on the truth and encouraging some challenge... or will I be "that parent"?

Ha!
No, just don’t.
They’re fairytales, let your child be a child.

only on Mumsnet.

Fairytales are archetypal stories. There are often full of wonder for children. And tell many truths.

only on MN could people take objection to them and start hassling the teacher for not being PC enough.

They are 5 they are fairy stories that kids grow out of they aren't real life.
if you want to discuss consent talk to her about little red riding hood, that would be an interesting one.

Why don’t you be that parent in a different way and solemnly inform DD that the real story involved sleeping beauty waking up in labour with twins and then I think one of them gets eaten? Tell her to put hand up and inform teacher and class of this version loudly and clearly and ask the teacher question about it - should make the topic seem less appealing.

YABU

Ok I hear you all. My view is marginal. I'm glad I asked.

For the record, the NSPCC's "Pants" material is entirely supportive of the idea of consent for small children pants

You should definitely tell her the ‘truth’ OP. May I suggest you start with the original versions of those stories, which include, the evil stepsisters cutting off their own toes and having their eyes pecked out by crows, Red Riding Hood Cutting her way out of a wolf’s stomach and The Little Mermad walking on the pain of hundereds of daggers stabbing her.

Really?

Not at all U. Maybe that's the consensus but I think you are totally right OP

And tbh OP I do get where your coming from - personally think the sanitised fairy tales are worse as far as gender issues go than the horrifying original ones. Sleeping beauty in its original incarnation actually IS about consent and sex

OP, I get it. Fairy tales are part of the curriculum, but children should also be taught that they are very old and therefore old fashioned. Even from 5, children can understand that 'A long time ago, people thought that women should just fall.in love and get married. Now we know that everyone should make their own choices about their life'.

You could ask the teacher if they're looking at any versions of stories that challenge the gender role expectations. There are lots of good books out there where the princess takes control of their own destiny.

I read an article once about how the heroines in fairy tales are passive, waiting for their Prince Charming to come and rescue them from misery. You can’t get more passive than sleeping beauty!
I don’t like those messages but there’s so much now that you can read with your kids and talk to them about that I don’t worry about my children reading the classic fairytales. You can easily ensure that it’s not the strongest message they get.

They are traditional tales and part of our heritage. Yes, there are some themes that are outdated, but discuss those with your DC in your own time.

I have issues with the glamorisation of pirates in our school, but I keep it to myself as I seem to be alone in my concerns about water based criminality.

I think the NSPCC pants material is a far cry from fairy tales.

It annoys me too Blankiefan but I never say anything. Just try to balance it at home.

Joy sucker.

e.g. why does the Prince think it's ok to kiss someone who hasn't agreed to it

You do know the story don't you? The princess CANT agree to it, she's cursed and the ONLY thing which will wake her is the kiss of a prince. He knows that too, he's not some random bloke who has turned up. He's there with the intention of preventing her sleeping for eternity.

I think you are over thinking this.

The Prince had to kiss Sleeping Beauty because it was the only way to break the spell. I’m sure if flipping the light switch off and on and shouting “Wakey Wakey” was the solution he would have done that.

Be grateful it’s not the original. Didn’t he rape her in the original fairy tale? May be wrong there.

@PinguDance there is few versions but they agree on ra0e while asleep and giving birth to twins. One I heard said she woken up when baby sucken on her finger.
This is exactly what I meant by my post on page 1. Could be worse than getting prince waking her up🤷‍♀️

Didn't realise you had to get consent from a non responsive person to be able to give them the kiss of life. Something like "Hey you are not breathing and are dead but can I try and rescussitate you. I take it that's a no then."

You really are that parent!!

It's a bloody fairytale...

Clue is in the genre of story... FAIRY TALE
It's not real life.

Oh ffs your dds schooling is going to be a long old road for you.

Fairy tales are taught and used all the way to year 6. I'm guessing your childs teachers wouldnt have thought about teaching your five year old about consent ffs

Don’t be patronising OP. You’re not just patronising us, you’re also patronising your child.

It could be argued that fairytales were actually the first ever version of the PANTS rule. They were cautionary tales. That aside, your child knows they’re stories, she knows they’re fictional and she can slot it into place with other things she’s told, such as the PANTS rule and the things she learns about relationship every day. You need to let her be a child and you also need to let her work it all out in her own time. You’re seriously underestimating her and if you try and control everything like this, she’ll be at a serious disadvantage.

Miffed as to how you’ve managed to mix up the pants campaign with kissing in fairy tales like they’re in any way connected

I get fed up with “Prince to the rescue” fairy tales BUT fairy tales as beautiful, important stories that all children should know about. It’s like an older person not knowing who dickens was, as outdated as his works are. Let your daughter have a rounded education.