to not want traditional fairy tales used in DD's class

[Blankiefan]

P1 5yo DD's class are doing a range of activities around Fairyland being lost. I don't hear any chat from dd about anything challenging gender norms. For example, she tells me they are making a castle for sleeping beauty this week so the handsome Prince can come and wake her up. Obviously I've discussed the consent issue with her. This seemed to be new news...

AIBU in wanting a chat with her teacher to check on the truth and encouraging some challenge... or will I be "that parent"?

OP " the message of the Prince kissing sleeping beauty is a consent issue".

PP "OMG what else should he do? How else was he going to wake her up? It's basically resuscitation. Does that offend you? Do you want that banned too?"

OP "surely they can improve on this, move away from the status quo and challenge the narrative? "

PP "NO! Absolutely not! Read up on the historical versions, the kiss IS an improvement. What more do you want? Why are you so needy and entitled? It's only a kiss!"

One step forward for equality and then 100 steps back.

Consent required from someone in a coma - and how would you suggest they go about gaining that consent?

You really don't want to go looking into fairytales your head might explode.

For example Cinderella - originally it was a fur slipper and that was a metaphor

not 'wakes he up', 'wakes her up'!

Blankiefan...although you're receiving a lot of knee jerk answers along the lines of "it's just a story/traditions/fairy tales/loony...blah, blah" how many have actually thought about the content of the stories.

I actually think you've got a point. Traditional tales have some terrible examples-get lost in the woods-move in with 7 randoms and clean their house, if your mum dies and your dad remarries then step-mum will try to kill you...and don't even start me on Beauty and the Beast - why does he need to turn into a prince? If she liked him enough to kiss the beast why couldn't she just love him no matter what he looks like?

Fairy tales were intended as cautionary tales, to help children learn to stay safe.
Little red riding hood was a warning to girls about rape, Cinderella (or the original called Donkey Skin) about incest- the list goes on.

Read your daughter Dahl's Revolting Rhymes, they make the princess/girl into a heroine.

TapasForTwo hard to say which ones the originals are for a lot of these but here’s one of the earliest collections: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentamerone

OP
You’re not overreacting - you’re reacting where others fear to tread.

When other posters are talking about fairytales being ‘allegorical’ they may have missed the point. Allegorical means (Wikipedia) ‘an allegory is a metaphor in which a character, place or event is used to deliver a broader message about real-world issues and occurrences’

Follow that and you’re teaching your kids a while lots of stuff you haven’t thought about.

Fairy tales were made to teach children, and indeed adults (they weren’t specifically for kids) morals - hence the phrase ‘moral of the story’.

Tell a child at five a story and you are without doubt telling them about how the world is - or your view of it.

If you don’t see that you need to have a good think - other posters who think it’s all over reaction.

Having said that I’ve taken the view that more is better with my kids - and read them a really wide variety of stories.
I’m sure there’s a way to approach this without being ‘that parent’, but sometimes beong ’that parent ‘ is a badge of honour

God this is sad.

Please let your daughter be a child...she can learn the depressing realities of life when she’s a bit older.

or will I be "that parent"?

That ship has sailed

@fiveredbricks. As 🦇 💩 as I think the OP is in the original the prince rapes Sleeping Beauty and then she gives birth to twins (whilst still cursed) and one sucks the splinter out of her finger and that’s how she wakes up! So yeah he shags and runs!!

Having bated through the thorny bushes, the Prince lept through the window and gazed upon the sleeping Princess.
Hello? he called quietly, and then loudly.
She did it stir.
He coughed, and banged the door.
She did not stir.
He sat. He waited. His Mama had raised him right so he did not touch her sleeping body. He'd learnt about Making Someone A Cup Of Teaand knew about consent.
12 pours later the Prince was famished. He climbed back through the window, fought through the bushes and called up Wanda to see if she fancied going to the movies.
To this day the Princesses body, and those of her entire castle, lie lifelessly in a castle far far away

I’d have a chat with the teacher to see if this was actually true as this sounds odd.

I really can’t see it myself

@Passtherioja read Robin McKinley’s Rose Daughter. It’s an adult version of beauty and the Beast and they both get the choice of whether to be a prince and princess or remain as they are and they decide to remain poor and a beast - it’s actually such a satisfying ending because over the book you and Beauty have fallen in love with the beast not a prince.

"Check on the truth and encourage some challenge"

Fuck me, I've never read a comment more pretentious and wanky...... and that is without the context - which makes the OP sound completely unhinged!

Is this actually a real post!! I'm slightly speechless and I've always been a feminist as far as most people are concerned! I work in a male dominated industry and hold my own. Strange as I'm pretty sure my mum didn't ban fairy tales!!!

At 3 my dd knows a story isn't real, she knows she isn't going to come across a talking cat in thigh high boots, a tiger isn't going to knock on the door to join us for tea - and if one did we'd be in trouble! - just as she knows no one should touch or kiss her if she doesn't want them to. She loves the stories and movies, and knows she can do anything because that's what she's been taught.

Fairytales aren't going to hurt kids, 🦇💩 parents over reacting to every little thing just might do though. Why can't we teach our children how to tell reality from fiction instead of how to be offended?

Iamthere123-I'll take a look!

These stories are basically fascist. Gender roles are everywhere, everyone has a naively constructed binary-conforming gender, these things are full of strong archetypes and the characters are full of people acting in the interests of naive and deconstructed "right" and "wrong".

How are we all supposed to progress to state where we're all meaningless sexless amoral puddles of nothing much when schools insist on telling children fairy tales full of simple joy, cautionary analogy and humanly relatable archetypes.

I think that children can make the difference between stories and real life a lot more than we give them credit for. Traditional fairy tales will be balanced with other types of books.

I remember in year 1 DS' teacher made this big thing about an alien that landed in the school playground and she'd made this fantastic UFO out of boxes and all sorts of things to illustrate the book (can't remember the name of the book now) and 'that' parent complained because it's a CoE school and aliens don't exist. The kids absolutely loved the set up and it really triggered their imagination. I still can't believe a parent complained. Kids know it's a story, as long as it's balanced with other types of stories.

Jesus fucking wept!!

"Those 12 dancing princesses, wearing their shoes out dancing every night, I bet they never thought about the poor little shoemaker children in a third world fairyland country sewing new ones with their little bleeding fingers."

Should have gone to the shoemaker with the elves.

Pity nobody thought to write “NIL BY MOUTH “ above her bed.
Would have saved OP all this trauma.

So if you were unconscious and a man wanted to give you the kiss of life, he wouldn't be able to without your consent? Or you'd sue him? Ffs!

Consent is important to teach children from younger than 5, doesn't have anything to do with sexual consent, at that stage but boundaries - my favourite information on consent is by a police force using a cup of tea as an example... Who gives a flying f**k about being that parent! It's your child you get to decide what's important for them to know. Just like the folks who don't care, about it.

No wonder teachers are leaving the profession. They have a hard enough job without shit like this.