to not want traditional fairy tales used in DD's class

[Blankiefan]

P1 5yo DD's class are doing a range of activities around Fairyland being lost. I don't hear any chat from dd about anything challenging gender norms. For example, she tells me they are making a castle for sleeping beauty this week so the handsome Prince can come and wake her up. Obviously I've discussed the consent issue with her. This seemed to be new news...

AIBU in wanting a chat with her teacher to check on the truth and encouraging some challenge... or will I be "that parent"?

And this is what's wrong with the world, I LOVED fairy tales as a child, it didn't make me question things like consent, I just enjoyed the magic of the stories.

The thread is interesting because whilst part of me thinks that complaining about fairy tales for 5 year olds is ridiculous- I also remember that neither my sister nor I ever liked them. We also hated Disney and the pathetic princesses with their big eyes, blonde hair and tiny, tiny waists. I remember that we also innately disapproved of the concept of Royalty.....even though we both spent the best part of the 29th July 1981 in front of the TV .

We were brought up with both parents as doctors and they had defected from Czechoslovakia. They both had a type of awe and excitement about Western society, but also disdain at the lavishness - so I guess we were used to hypocrisy!

Both of us have gone onto work in male dominated world - my sister construction and me sport. We've both encountered sexism. My sister has three daughters - all of whom were obsessed with Disney and all of whom spent their childhoods wafting around in princess dresses. The most "pink and glittery" one is now captain of her University rugby team.

No i didnt miss the irony thankyou , as much as people would like to make all of children clones i know they wont be no matter how much you censor their world

I think you have hit the nail on the head Loopylou6. The fairy tales are magical and bear no resemblance to reality. I must have done something right because DD holds pretty strong feminist views.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think you are being unreasonable, I’m quite shocked though at how aggressive so many people have been in telling you that you’re wrong!

Everyone is banging on about how it isn’t going to affect girls re consent, they’ll still be taught about it etc - consider the rape and sexual assault stats. How many happen? How many are reported? How baby are prosecuted? Little boys are listening to these stories too and aren’t being taught to always seek consent. Girl/women aren’t reporting incidents because it is ingrained in them from so young that it’s ok for men to touch themif they want to. You might not think that’s the case, but it’s so deeply ingrained and accepted you need to really look at where those ideas came from. I was raped at 17. I didn’t report it straight away because although I knew I didn’t consent, I thought that maybe he got the wrong idea and it was my fault. It’s only years later, looking back at what happened and really diving into my thoughts and feelings at the time that it made me realise how far back it went that this idea that if a man wanted to touch a woman, he could.

As for the gender stereotypes, any chance at all to challenge this I think should be taken!

Thinking back to the stories where “Prince Charming” kisses an unconscious princess and saves her...... if I recall correctly in one case it was believed she was dead but I don’t remember in a single fairy tale the prince, or anyone in fact, knowing that “true loves kiss” would save her life. Put in that and suddenly comparing it to mouth to mouth resuscitation is very different - if you do that, you are attempting to save a life. Kissing someone you think is unconscious or dead, without any knowledge at all that a kiss could ‘cure’ them is absolutely not the same.