to not want traditional fairy tales used in DD's class

[Blankiefan]

P1 5yo DD's class are doing a range of activities around Fairyland being lost. I don't hear any chat from dd about anything challenging gender norms. For example, she tells me they are making a castle for sleeping beauty this week so the handsome Prince can come and wake her up. Obviously I've discussed the consent issue with her. This seemed to be new news...

AIBU in wanting a chat with her teacher to check on the truth and encouraging some challenge... or will I be "that parent"?

Yep, definitely ´that parent'. You will be the laughing stock of the staffroom. Chill pill. Let your child, be one

I find it interesting that so many posters have said that they grew up with the traditional/ original fairy tails, yet have no idea what the originals were.
The original tails were never ment for young children, but for telling in the evening to intertain when there was no tv,
Disney changed the story's to sell them to a family ordinance.
I wonder how many people objected to the changes made in 1959?
how many adults said, " it never did them any harm" etc.

out of interest I've just looked up ' when do women start planning there wedding?" And apparently 1/4 start at the age of 6.

You can’t rewrite a story

Of course you can. Fairy tales have always been rewritten, bowdlerized, re-gorified, and so on.

I find it interesting that so many posters have said that they grew up with the traditional/ original fairy tails, yet have no idea what the originals were.

When I was 5 it was 1964. No internet back then, we didn't have a TV and most of the films hadn't yet been made by Disney, except for Snow White, which I didn't see until I was about 10. So why would it occur to me for it to be any different? And it didn't occur to me as a mature adult to look into the background of the stories until this thread.

No-one I know in RL has ever suggested their origins either.

"out of interest I've just looked up ' when do women start planning there wedding? And apparently 1/4 start at the age of 6.

Really? How depressing. Marriage is the last thing on DD's mind.

"No, it simply means that there far more important factors in raising strong independent daughters. I'm surprised more people can't seem to grasp that

I don't think a single person has said this is the most important factor."

I agree with this ^^

I'm really surprised how small the feminist voice is on this thread.

I think there are lots of feminists on the thread, but no doubt you would accuse them of not doing feminism properly if their daughters watch Disney films.

Tapasfortea, I grew up in the 70s and you may remember back then Disney films could only be seen at the cinema. I say sleeping beauty once in my child hood.
We did not have many books, certainly dident have the original version of fairy tails in the house. My farther would tell us the story's he knew or made up. As I got older heft would tell me the real versions of these stories.

So you and I dident really' grow up with ' the Disney prinsses nonsense.
Young girls now and since about 1986 have had the videos/ dvds in threre homes to watch day in day out.

So, seeing a film once/ twice in a childhood would have little influence on that child, perhaps seeing lots of similar theamed films over and over again, and having all the dresses and being told how beautiful you are and seeing the media ctiticise women for not looking fabulous MAY have an influence.

I do find the subject very interesting, where influences come from, where we perceive them to come from.

I'd really like to know which versions of fairy tails tou were reading as a child, and how often?

Children have been told fairy stories for years- FFS- it didn't begin with Disney!

The stories I was read as a child in the 1970s were adaptions from Hans Christian Andersons or The brothers Grimm who had written stories they had collected, mainly from German folklore and that was in the 1800s. The stories were being told for centuries before this!

Disney of course put their own spin on things- but most books of fairy tales have sod all to do with Disney! The Ladybird ones used to be very Popular, as were usbourne, and every good children's bookshop has a copy or adaption of the original Brothers Grimm tales.

If anyone is interested in the original tales This book and
this book stick reasonably closely to their original versions and both are beautifully illustrated cloth bound versions.

"I'd really like to know which versions of fairy tails tou were reading as a child, and how often?"

Hans Christian Anderson, and the brothers Grimm mainly. It is a long time ago, but I think we had the Ladybird books with fairy tales in them as well. I can't remember how often. It was too long ago

I do remember when I was slightly older reading Norse myths and legends, and they were rather dark. I also read Andrew Lang.

Everyone had ladybird Books in the 1970s! They were fab and didn't sugar-coat the stories either. I had all of them- Rumplestiltskin was my favourite and I loved Puss-in-boots, The Frog Prince and Beauty and the Beast. (no singing cutlery, no Gaston!). They had great traditional tales like The Little Red Hen, The Three billy Goats Gruff, and The Wolf and the Seven Little Kids too. Children who don't get to hear these these stories enough to know them by heart are missing a vital part of childhood in my view!

They have changes some of the lines in nursery rhymes as well. The old woman who lived in a shoe used to beat her kids, now she does something else (I can't remember what though)

I was a little shocked when I read some Enid Blyton stories to DD because there was quite a lot of slapping going on. It goes to show how much we have moved on these days.

Oh heavens... She is 5. Its a fairy tale. Imagination and magical. Can't we just let kids be kids. The world is hard enough. No harm In a little make belief. It's not going to alter how she matures and views herself and others.

Beatrix Potter involves more beatings than you'd like too.

I wonder if schools do stories were the kids get beaten for bad behaviour....on the one hand that might be great for discipline...on the other hand I really bet they don't.

You can fix the bad influence of fairy tales by gender swapping all the characters.

So a wizard casts a spell on a handsome prince who falls asleep until rescued by a brave princess....

All the girls can dress up in armour...which the can keep for next week when this time they get to rescue the hapless trophy princes from the clutches of a ravening dragon.

The week after the girls can rescue the helpless boys from the tower they've been trapped in by their evil stepfather. It will take slightly longer for the boys to grow their hair long enough to allow climbing because they are starting from shorter hair.

Then there is Jackie and the beanstalk. The girls can climb the bean stalk and tackle the giantess and steal the golden goose. The boys can sit it out (or tidy the cupboards or something) because they aren't in this one.

After that we will have the girls doing some mining while exhibiting all sorts of varied and exciting character traits. The boys will just lie on the table having been poisoned by a wizard for threatening his most beautiful in the kingdom title.

I forgot cinderella...

I can't wait to see all the boys acting out all that catty step-sibling rivalry...and an excellent opportunity to hone their domestic chore skills.

"Beatrix Potter involves more beatings than you'd like too."

Oh yes. The Tale of Samuel Whiskers is horrible.

Nativity - did Mary consent ?

milli that one is okay I think...I mean she is recorded as saying 'let it be unto me as you have said'

Didn't really have much of a choice though did she ?!

OMG what is wrong with people on this thread?

Be that parent OP!! What is wrong with being the parent that points out the harm in gender stereotypes? Why not talk to the school.

If only more parents were like that.. And teachers too. .

Do your kids really not know that just because an anthropomorphic rabbit in old fashioned tale gets a clip round the ear does not mean that anyone thinks that's ok to happen to them in real life. Do they not distinguish between fact and fiction, or between past and present day?
My dd read lots of Beatrix Potter- it hardly comes across as something that should happen now!

Don't forget to add that your daughter can only have sweets with no sugar, no gluten and certified organic.
Have a fit if there's any pink or blue in the decorations for activities and ensure that her clothes are all beige.
Seriously. I'm all against gender-specific (or limiting) clothes, colours etc. but this is all too much.
You are THAT mother.

@ Fresta noboby is saying that a child would think that everything that happens in a book is literally true (or acceptable) in real life.

But are you suggesting that children’s (and indeed adult’s) ideas about gender and gender roles aren’t influenced or shaped in any way by the stories/ literature/ books that we read? That would be quite a claim!

This is another one where the OP asks if they're being unreasonable, and the overwhelming majority say yes, you are, the OP says 'no I'm not, my views are right because..... ............'.

Actually Luna, I've done the opposite. I asked

AIBU in wanting a chat with her teacher to check on the truth and encouraging some challenge... or will I be "that parent"?

I've said twice now on this thread that however disappointed I am that my view is in the minority, as a result of this thread I wont bring it up with the school.