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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ditch baseball cap wearing date

154 replies

Bubblegumicecream · 28/04/2019 20:08

Currently sitting in a nice bar on a first date arranged through mutual friend... and said date is wearing a fucking baseball cap.

Smart shoes. Smart jeans. Smart top. Well groomed. Handsome. Then polishes it off with a bright white baseball cap which is almost burning my eyeballs.

I know for a fact he's not bald. Imo baseball caps are reserved for baseball fans, playing tennis, playing golf, children, chavs.

I just imagine him laying his outfit out for tonight and thinking 'yes, this finishes me off nicely. She'll love this cap!'.

Seriously thinking of making a dash for it when he goes for a bathroom break. Could write 'baseball cap?' in lipstick on a napkin so he gets the message.

Wwyd?

OP posts:
cabcab · 28/04/2019 21:13

My son wears one, he hates his severe alopecia and people bloody staring.

Sparklingbrook · 28/04/2019 21:13

Nothing wrong with a man in a baseball cap.

To ditch baseball cap wearing date
DeftandGlory · 28/04/2019 21:14

So he’s not allowed clothes with holes or mist matched clothes but he is “allowed” a baseball cap? How does that work.

Alternative fashion is fine but a base cap is neither original or attractive.
Not wearing hats inside is a sartorial rule and not conforming by wearing a stupid kids hat comes across as cocky and a bit ignorant.I think so anyway.

keepingbees · 28/04/2019 21:14

Maybe he had a dodgy haircut. Or his hairs thinning and he's conscious of it. Maybe it's just a confidence thing. Or maybe he just likes it and it's his style...
If you like him why judge. It's only a hat.

motherheroic · 28/04/2019 21:15

It's a cap, ask him to remove it. Massive deal over frig all.

motherheroic · 28/04/2019 21:16

@DeftandGlory How do you suggest men keep the sun out of their face?

ForalltheSaints · 28/04/2019 21:16

You had time to write the first message, so cannot be good. Seems like no second date.

Basic manners for a man to take their cap or hat off indoors.

cabcab · 28/04/2019 21:17

Not wearing hats inside is a sartorial rule and not conforming by wearing a stupid kids hat comes across as cocky and a bit ignorant.I think so anyway.

How fucking judgemental when you have no idea why.

Smumzo · 28/04/2019 21:19

Wearing a hat inside is bad manners but I can't imagine not giving someone a chance over a hat!

AgentPeggyCarter · 28/04/2019 21:19

Maybe he’s judging you for being on your phone long enough mid-date to post that OP.

ToEarlyForDecorations · 28/04/2019 21:21

not conforming by wearing a stupid kids hat comes across as cocky and a bit ignorant

This^

Feel free to judge those who judge. It seems more acceptable somehow.

Doyouneedthetoilet · 28/04/2019 21:23

Ask him if he is not planning on stopping, if he asks why you can mention the hat.

SadOtter · 28/04/2019 21:24

The question is is it a clean baseball cap? DH went through a phase of wearing a grubby baseball cap, its not a deal breaker for me but he did take it off our first few dates so I got to know him before I'd seen it. I'd give him a chance.

64sNewName · 28/04/2019 21:24

I know it’s shallow but baseball caps really put me off too.

I have associations of scary (as in violent) types of men wearing them - I am sure NABaseballCapWearersALT but regardless I’m always going to dislike them. (Anyway they look really ugly)

spicypickle · 28/04/2019 21:25

I think they look sexy on a man Blush

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 28/04/2019 21:26

It's only a hat, it's not like hes wearing a t shirt with an offensive slogan on it or something,give him a chance.

SpaceCadet4000 · 28/04/2019 21:26

DH regularly wears a baseball cap. He's also a scientist with a masters degree and a thoroughly decent bloke. He is American so I maybe it's different as it's normal here, but I don't really see anything wrong with it?! It stops his scalp from getting burnt and shields his eyes from the sun...

To me, they are informal not "chavvy". At least half the guys in the bars around here would have one on.

GabsAlot · 28/04/2019 21:28

does it matter really? how old are you

chatnicknameyousuggested · 28/04/2019 21:29

That's nothing. STBEH wears a PANAMA hat. And likes Grime. He's 52.

crackofdoom · 28/04/2019 21:30

YANBU at all.

I had a date last week who turned up wearing flip flops. On a rainy night in April. It was a definite no from that moment, even though I had to finish my pint before I left Grin.

My thumping great crush on Clive Lewis hit the skids the other day when I saw him speaking at a demo in a baseball cap.

Dinosforall · 28/04/2019 21:31

Spacecadet it's dark here at the moment though!

echt · 28/04/2019 21:31

I can see why someone would wear a baseball cap to keep the sun off, but indoors is naff. Same for wearing one while driving.

MyKingdomForBrie · 28/04/2019 21:33

cabcab OP clearly said he does not have hair loss.

I'd give him a chance though. You don't know why he's wearing it.

JenniferJareau · 28/04/2019 21:34

Run!

To ditch baseball cap wearing date
CleverQuacks · 28/04/2019 21:35

My brother wears a baseball cap all day, every day. He is visually impaired and struggles with bright lights (including indoors). He is an amazing guy though and any woman would be lucky to have him.