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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ditch baseball cap wearing date

154 replies

Bubblegumicecream · 28/04/2019 20:08

Currently sitting in a nice bar on a first date arranged through mutual friend... and said date is wearing a fucking baseball cap.

Smart shoes. Smart jeans. Smart top. Well groomed. Handsome. Then polishes it off with a bright white baseball cap which is almost burning my eyeballs.

I know for a fact he's not bald. Imo baseball caps are reserved for baseball fans, playing tennis, playing golf, children, chavs.

I just imagine him laying his outfit out for tonight and thinking 'yes, this finishes me off nicely. She'll love this cap!'.

Seriously thinking of making a dash for it when he goes for a bathroom break. Could write 'baseball cap?' in lipstick on a napkin so he gets the message.

Wwyd?

OP posts:
TanMateix · 29/04/2019 02:18

I do cringe with base ball cups in the same way some people cringe with smelly feet (I also cringe at that) should I give him a chance because it would be judgemental not to? no, not if I am the one who would be going out with him or are woman still supposed to shut up about their likes and dislikes and be grateful for the attention of a man they have disliked?

Whizzler · 29/04/2019 02:21

I think it's weird to equate baseball caps with stinky trotters.

That being said you can be turned off by someone for the most trivial of reasons. It's your right. But if the baseball cap is the only crime he's committed I'd be inclined not to write him off just yet.

Humpy84 · 29/04/2019 02:23

What happened op ? I’ve a feeling you ended up together.

MustShowDH · 29/04/2019 02:23

As it's 2am and you've not managed to update, I guess the date got better ( you dirty stop out!!!)

floribunda18 · 29/04/2019 02:35

I would definitely ask if his head was cold, or if there was a particular reason he felt the need to wear a hat inside a restaurant/pub.

InionEile · 29/04/2019 03:09

Where’s he from? If UK, then you’re right to have doubts about his style, personal grooming, general sense of what’s appropriate. If he’s from the US, or maybe Canada, then you can cut him some slack. A lot of perfectly sane and normal men here wear them, and women too. Especially where I live which is a sunny state. Caps are good for keeping the sun out of your eyes. They’re also a way of signaling an interest in a certain sports team etc.

Ihatehashtags · 29/04/2019 03:20

A baseball cap in a restaurant?! No that’s bad manners. Outside , fine, inside at a bar or restaurant no.

SenecaFalls · 29/04/2019 03:26

They’re also a way of signaling an interest in a certain sports team etc.

Yes, indeed. DH's favorite one has the University of Georgia logo on it. Go Dawgs.

What kind of head gear do golfers wear in the UK? In the US, you see a lot of baseball caps on the golf course. Would that be considered a bit classier?

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 29/04/2019 03:40

Fuck this website.

Imagine he was posting on here about something you had the audacity to wear? They'd be baying for blood.

I think if a baseball cap is all you have to worry about you're doing well.

mouldyhousemouldylife · 29/04/2019 03:46

Imagine he was posting on here about something you had the audacity to wear? They'd be baying for blood.

That's what I thought. A man posting about a woman wearing a hat or something else inoffensive would get ripped to shreds.

Coyoacan · 29/04/2019 03:50

Yeap, tell him he needs white socks to look more like Arnold Palmer

yuckyuckyucky

Polestar50 · 29/04/2019 04:04

I reckon someone told him he looks good in one once, or there's a photo he likes of himself where he happens to be wearing one. So it's him trying to present his best side.

I would feel the same as you though, fecking hate them.

If EVERYTHING else about him was amazing, I could probably let it go, at least until I felt comfortable enough to confess my dislike of them but, yes, it is a pretty major turn off.

Polestar50 · 29/04/2019 04:05

I reckon someone told him he looks good in one once, or there's a photo he likes of himself where he happens to be wearing one. So it's him trying to present his best side.

I would feel the same as you though, fecking hate them.

If EVERYTHING else about him was amazing, I could probably let it go, at least until I felt comfortable enough to confess my dislike of them but, yes, it is a pretty major turn off.

Polestar50 · 29/04/2019 04:05

I reckon someone told him he looks good in one once, or there's a photo he likes of himself where he happens to be wearing one. So it's him trying to present his best side.

I would feel the same as you though, fecking hate them.

If EVERYTHING else about him was amazing, I could probably let it go, at least until I felt comfortable enough to confess my dislike of them but, yes, it is a pretty major turn off.

Polestar50 · 29/04/2019 04:06

I reckon someone told him he looks good in one once, or there's a photo he likes of himself where he happens to be wearing one. So it's him trying to present his best side.

I would feel the same as you though, fecking hate them.

If EVERYTHING else about him was amazing, I could probably let it go, at least until I felt comfortable enough to confess my dislike of them but, yes, it is a pretty major turn off.

Polestar50 · 29/04/2019 04:06

I reckon someone told him he looks good in one once, or there's a photo he likes of himself where he happens to be wearing one. So it's him trying to present his best side.

I would feel the same as you though, fecking hate them.

If EVERYTHING else about him was amazing, I could probably let it go, at least until I felt comfortable enough to confess my dislike of them but, yes, it is a pretty major turn off.

Polestar50 · 29/04/2019 04:07

I reckon someone told him he looks good in one once, or there's a photo he likes of himself where he happens to be wearing one. So it's him trying to present his best side.

I would feel the same as you though, fecking hate them.

If EVERYTHING else about him was amazing, I could probably let it go, at least until I felt comfortable enough to confess my dislike of them but, yes, it is a pretty major turn off.

mouldyhousemouldylife · 29/04/2019 04:15

What's that???

IHaveBrilloHair · 29/04/2019 04:25

I'd have spied before meeting him and wouldn't have shown up if he was wearing a cap in public (unless prior warning of health issues etc)

feesh · 29/04/2019 04:34

I quite fancy men in baseball caps, if they’re outdoorsy/water sports types. I live in a hot country and I wear one, as do most blokes.

Iflyaway · 29/04/2019 04:36

You sound an awful snob.

And judgemental.

Seahorseshoe · 29/04/2019 05:18

I remember going out on a second date and him saying "I prefer it when you wear your hair down". Wtf, he didn't get a 3rd date.

Is he nice, how's the conversation going?

I don't think you can tell him to move his hat. If the date goes well and you go out again, see if he wears his hat again. Then decide.

Figure8 · 29/04/2019 05:40

Lots of Canadians wear them too. I don't love it, but fairly normal for many

cricketmum84 · 29/04/2019 05:43

I read this post and remembered I met a man last night who wore a cowboy hat. But the more I think about it the more I'm realising it was just a dream.

cricketmum84 · 29/04/2019 05:44

OP is the baseball cap on your bedroom floor? Is this why you never came back? 😂

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