Beer Fear - WTF do I do?!

[GotTheBeerFear]

Posting for traffic, and looking for guidance as to what I should do as I'm in no fit state to make a sensible decision.

Have name changed too as I don't want to out myself.

Got massively drunk last night, not proud of it & paying the price this morning although truth be told I still feel pissed.

Must have text an old 'acquaintance' last night... cut contact months ago as I fell for him (I know, I know) and despite him getting in touch several times I've just ignored him.

Changed phones and deleted his number in fact, so the temptation hasn't been there.

Anyway, wake up this morning to a text message from him asking who it is... wtf do I do?! Got proper beer fear and scared to even open the message and read what I must have sent him last night. I was transferring photos from my old phone yesterday and came across his number so it can't just be a coincidence :-(

Do I ignore, or own it and admit who it is? Read the message or just straight delete (and block so there's no repercussions)!

Tbh it did sting a bit to read him asking who it is but we've never ever text before so he can't have my number stored and he'd have known who it was over messenger or WhatsApp.

Please tell me what to do!

Yay! I said texting back would be the right thing to do!

Now don't over think it, meet him, and just be honest about where you are at and what you want and see if its the same as what he wants... no need for games and mind fuckery! :D

I thought you had bear fear and I was wondering how likely you were to come across a bear. Your story is a little less exotic but your message is not that bad and a sorry wrong number would suffice

Wow just saw the update, have fun!

So happy for you! wipes away a romantic tear.

Just read through the thread now. So pleased you're meeting up with him, please keep us all informed, good luck OP!

Eeeee!

DH started following me on Instagram, he didn’t look my ‘type’ so I didn’t pay much attention. A year later we randomly bumped into each other on a pub stairwell, and in person I realised he was hot as fuck.
Sadly, we were both on dates with other people, but 19 months later we were both single, and we had a date.

10 months on from that first date we were married. I was 41, he was 48. Neither of us can believe we wasted 2 years on each other’s periphery, but here we are, planning on spending the rest of forever together.

Funny how things work out.

Keep us all updated! We’re rooting for you!b

See that's the thing... the sex IS great with him, not gonna lie. But it doesn't feel like it's just all about that.

Well over the years i've had a few of the "fuck like rabbits" things on the go problem is that isn't the basis for a long term decent relationship.

Still nowt ventured nowt gained. If i were him I think i might be more "impressed" if that be the right word!, if we'd keep out of the sack on the first date, not that you will of course;!

Sooo when's the date?!

This was my expertise subject whilst at uni until I met my husband 😅. Hmm. These texts are arranging sex. Not a booty call as such and you’ll go out for drinks first but the texts are essentially say let’s agree to have sex at a point in the future.

That’s such a cringe response from him - I’ve been sleeping in my king size bed! (does he thinks he’s special because he has a KSB?) Secondly that’s a sex directed text and he’s gone straight into that. Which is fine if you’re looking for that (albeit as above he’s done it in cringey manner) but you’re not. he’s not heard from you in ages and his first reaction wasn’t oh hi wow I was wondering how you were etc how’s things let’s get a beer etc but sex chat. So I’d say he hasn’t been pining for you. You’ve then responded with sex chat - bed would be better together. It’s hard to restart and redefine a relationship later when it’s been something else and you’ve already shagged a lot but I hope you guys can do it if he is more interesting than his king size bed chat! I hope it’s what you want and that you don’t get hurt (you’ve mentioned a fair bit not wanting to go back to say it was before).
Anyway just my tuppence.

I wouldn't read into this. When it happens to me I think to myself, 'haha someone's been on a night out' and think no more of it. If I wanted some sex then I'd know where my easy pickings are.
His replies indicate the same. 'I've been asleep in my king size bed' is just an opener for you to say you'd like to be in it. Personally I find that really lame.

Any update, OP? Hope all going well.

No update as yet I'm afraid

We agreed to meet up this weekend last Saturday when I was posting but work commitments have put paid to that... so it's been delayed a week.

We've been messaging though, which has been nice. It's good to be back in touch.

There's been no more talk of beds... just general chit chat and how much we're looking forward to seeing each other again.

I will update again after I've met him... even if it doesn't go to plan because without the support of you guys it would never have even got to this point!

I keep checking back for updates. Is there one please?

Hi All.

Well it's been pretty quiet I'm afraid which is why I haven't been back to update

Due to circumstances out of both our control we've not had an opportunity to meet up. So I took the bull by the horns and told him how I felt over messaging one night.

I thought that was the best option as sod waiting another month or god knows how long until we get round to actually meeting up in person. The last few weeks have felt like proper head fuck so I'd rather just get it out there, see where I stand and either try and progress what we had or move on.

It seems like it's the latter now which really I am ok with...because it feels like closure.

He didn't completely blow me out, but at the same time didn't give me confidence that he liked me enough to want to arrange another date to see me.

He seemed surprised and said he never realised I felt the way I did, that he liked me too and always loves hearing from me. It was all kind of left up in the air. He was off out for the evening so I wished him a good one, and then it's just been radio silence since. Which tells me all I need to know really.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my initial post, because I'm sure without it I wouldn't have got to where I am now.

I am disappointed I didn't get the response I was hoping for, but hey ho... onwards and upwards!

I know the next thing will be for me to block and delete, which seems so final. But I know I don't want to find myself back in the position of sending random drunk messages at silly o clock in the morning

Thank you for the update- and maybe you won't need to block and delete. You know the score- he's not that interested. Flattered, maybe, because he likes you. So it does his ego good to know you are interested. But not interested enough to commit. He's not the one, sadly.

That's a shame OP, but it's always best to know isn't it. Now you can start to move on and find yourself someone yummy who wants to be with you.

Thanks for updating. Sorry it didn't go as well as it sounded it might.