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Original poster

Beer Fear - WTF do I do?!

217 replies

GotTheBeerFear · 27/04/2019 11:25

Posting for traffic, and looking for guidance as to what I should do as I'm in no fit state to make a sensible decision.

Have name changed too as I don't want to out myself.

Got massively drunk last night, not proud of it & paying the price this morning although truth be told I still feel pissed.

Must have text an old 'acquaintance' last night... cut contact months ago as I fell for him (I know, I know) and despite him getting in touch several times I've just ignored him.

Changed phones and deleted his number in fact, so the temptation hasn't been there.

Anyway, wake up this morning to a text message from him asking who it is... wtf do I do?! Got proper beer fear and scared to even open the message and read what I must have sent him last night. I was transferring photos from my old phone yesterday and came across his number so it can't just be a coincidence :-(

Do I ignore, or own it and admit who it is? Read the message or just straight delete (and block so there's no repercussions)!

Tbh it did sting a bit to read him asking who it is but we've never ever text before so he can't have my number stored and he'd have known who it was over messenger or WhatsApp.

Please tell me what to do!

OP posts:
mybaloney · 27/04/2019 13:28

Oh op. I can't believe you never told him. I'd get back in touch, suss out if he's single and if he asks why you disappeared say something like 'I realised I was ready for dating that could be more serious and I didn't think you were looking for a relationship and I wanted to find someone who was.' See what he says. He might say he wasn't, in which case you say 'yes I thought it was for the best we stopped our thing for that reason'. You've lost nothing then. If he says he did/does, then bingo.

diddl · 27/04/2019 13:28

"I kind of batted it off at the time..."

Good Lord!

If you really thought that he was only after a shag though-that doesn´t say much about what you thought of him.

LuckyLou7 · 27/04/2019 13:29

I think you should message him again - it really sounds like you have unfinished business. Text back and say sorry for the late text, does he fancy a bacon sandwich and a bloody Mary and a general catch up. Go on, you know you want to.

JoinTheMicrodots · 27/04/2019 13:29

Did you just ghost him, then? Poor bloke!

Just reply saying ‘It’s Beer, just woken up with a banging hangover. Sorry to have bothered you! Hope you’re well and happy.’ See what he says.

Original poster
GotTheBeerFear · 27/04/2019 13:29

@SoupDragon It sounds like that doesn't it, reading it back?

I replied it was a lovely thing to say and would be good to see him soon... we met up loads after that and it was never mentioned again.

Yes, I really do want to msg him. But at the same time I don't want to hear if he's met someone, or moved on etc. I think that would upset me more than not ever knowing if he felt the same

OP posts:
ginghamtablecloths · 27/04/2019 13:31

Could you reply, pretend that an old phone has been passed onto someone, you don't know what's happened and will delete?

IvanaPee · 27/04/2019 13:32

But you’d have closure!

Seriously, you can just text casually saying it was you, you were drunk lol! Sorry about that but the hangover is punishment enough.

Nice and breezy. Gives him an opening. If he doesn’t take it, you haven’t embarrassed yourself!

MissGruffalo · 27/04/2019 13:33

You were thinking about him last night because you need closure. Whichever way it goes.
He may be in a relationship now. Or he may be open to reigniting what you had.
Either way, you need to communicate and out things to bed (so to speak Grin )

pineapplepatty · 27/04/2019 13:34

Message and say it's you!

Original poster
GotTheBeerFear · 27/04/2019 13:37

No I didn't ghost him... for background we met in 2017 on a dating site.

Neither of us were looking for relationships and he was bloody hot!

I honestly did not expect to get on as well with him as I did... and the chemistry was just wow!

It was me who suggested not messaging and get too entwined as that's when I thought it could get messy, but every 6 weeks or so we'd spend a weekend together and always had an amazing time. Spoke about going abroad together too although that never happened.

God this sounds messed up writing this and it's got me feeling quite sad Sad

Because it was so casual I've not really opened up about it before but it's affected me more than I care to admit

OP posts:
colditz · 27/04/2019 13:37

Get some toast down you. Could have been worse, could have been a tit shot.

IvanaPee · 27/04/2019 13:38

Bloody text him back woman! Grin

Original poster
GotTheBeerFear · 27/04/2019 13:40

@colditz GrinGrinGrin

I've got a headache kicking in now. Not moved from the sofa and don't intend to for a while.

Toast won't cut it, pizza will but I can't face opening the door to the delivery driver just yet

OP posts:
MakeLemonade · 27/04/2019 13:44

There is a show on Netflix by Dr Brene Brown - more of a lecture I suppose - it’s about vulnerability and finding courage. Good things don’t happen if you’re too scared to make yourself vulnerable is the general theme and could be helpful for future if not this time.

www.netflix.com/title/81010166?s=i&trkid=13747225

CraftyYankee · 27/04/2019 13:50

Woman up and text him! How can you stand not knowing what if???

f83mx · 27/04/2019 13:52

Oh god definitely message saying it’s you, you were drunk and hope he’s well. See what he replies!!!

cricketmum84 · 27/04/2019 13:53

Omg just text him back woman!!!!

Original poster
GotTheBeerFear · 27/04/2019 13:55

@MakeLemonade thank you for posting that video. The last bit around reaching the end of your life and not turning up really hit a chord with me.

I honestly think my feelings for this guy are something I'll take to my grave.

And I'm putting together a message in my head but building up the courage to send it. This is so hard!

OP posts:
IvanaPee · 27/04/2019 13:58

What do you have so far?

I’d keep it light and airy.

Original poster
GotTheBeerFear · 27/04/2019 14:00

I was thinking:

"It's drunken bum from (town name) - he will know it's me from there. Obviously I was 3 sheets to the wind last night, sorry! But hope you're well anyway.

How does that sound?

OP posts:
OldUnit · 27/04/2019 14:05

I'm of the opinion that your intuition has already made you back away from this guy once and to put your heart on a plate to him again would be potentially catastrophic.

Leave it. Heal.

MitziK · 27/04/2019 14:06

Perfectly reasonable.

neveradullmoment99 · 27/04/2019 14:08

This is a non issue. You didnt say anything inappropriate. He doesnt know who you are so what exactly is the problem?
Delete and move on.

WontYouDance · 27/04/2019 14:08

OP woman up and text him! You’ll never know what could have been if you don’t!

That message sounds ideal. Go for it

SandAndSea · 27/04/2019 14:08

I honestly think my feelings for this guy are something I'll take to my grave.

Not on my watch you won't! Smile Bloody hell, woman! You need to own this! Don't live with regrets.

Come clean.
Let him know you've been thinking of him and what might have been.
If he doesn't jump at the chance to be with you, at least you'll know and you will have lost nothing but the regret of not trying.

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