Beer Fear - WTF do I do?!

[GotTheBeerFear]

Posting for traffic, and looking for guidance as to what I should do as I'm in no fit state to make a sensible decision.

Have name changed too as I don't want to out myself.

Got massively drunk last night, not proud of it & paying the price this morning although truth be told I still feel pissed.

Must have text an old 'acquaintance' last night... cut contact months ago as I fell for him (I know, I know) and despite him getting in touch several times I've just ignored him.

Changed phones and deleted his number in fact, so the temptation hasn't been there.

Anyway, wake up this morning to a text message from him asking who it is... wtf do I do?! Got proper beer fear and scared to even open the message and read what I must have sent him last night. I was transferring photos from my old phone yesterday and came across his number so it can't just be a coincidence :-(

Do I ignore, or own it and admit who it is? Read the message or just straight delete (and block so there's no repercussions)!

Tbh it did sting a bit to read him asking who it is but we've never ever text before so he can't have my number stored and he'd have known who it was over messenger or WhatsApp.

Please tell me what to do!

What age are you op?

I would leave the chat until the date/after sex. Give him a chance to remind him how lovely you are.

OP I'm so pleased for you, please come back and update us after your date!

Everything crossed it all goes well lass.

Oh Beer Fear - I've been lurking & I'm really excited for you too! Get that pizza ordered, neck some painkillers & then doze off the rest of the day!

That’s brill! Now it’s time to be honest with him. You want more than fwb. Don’t be his fuck buddy until he finds a gf.

I agree that you shoukd see how date goes before bringing up the subject of wanting more than FWB.

Beer delurking to say that this thread has cheered me up no end!

Of course we will need regular updates too!

Argh! You HAVE to tell us how the date goes. And invite us to the wedding!

Personally I don’t see the point in waiting.
He’s not forgotten you, that’s quite obvious, and you don’t need to see how the date goes as you’ve done that part too without it being labelled as such.
If you’d be happy for it to continue as FWB then I’d say crack on, but if it would actually really upset you if it didn’t lead to anything more (which I suspect is the case hence the silent anxiety earlier on the day) then I’d maybe address the reason why you both stopped talking in the first place.
You don’t have to have THE talk but it’ll get him thinking.

I'm mid-thirties but feel like a giddy teen at the moment

I completely get what posters are saying about telling him before.

If I knew, 100% that he was not wanting a relationship with me and it was just occasional company and sex he was happy with I would without doubt never see him again.

We live a fair way apart to never bump in to each other, and have no connections such as mutual friends etc.

I think I'll just gauge it on the day/night and take it from there.

As someone earlier said, I don't want to lay all my cards on the table! I'll find out subtly what he's looking for as it may have changed in the nearly 2yrs we've known each other.

Will definitely keep updating! You guys have seen me through today!

Yay, Well done op!

You didn't message him last night with a booty call, but suggesting that you wanted to talk to him, so I'd say he realises already that you have things to say. Am very excited for you.

You have to lay it out before it restarts!

Just ask him what he is looking for, that you've moved on a little and are looking for a proper relationship now.

Good luck with it, hope the date goes well

@NeverTalksToStrangers that's a fair point and I would never have looked at it that way.

I really hope he does realise as that would make the situation a whole lot easier to deal with. Only if he feels the same of course!

I'm still thinking that if he really liked me he'd have said, but driving myself mad thinking there must be something there for it to be the way it is when we're together.

Guess I'll soon find out! Going to try and put it to the back of my mind for now as it'll drive me crazy otherwise

Just read this thread. What a rollercoaster ride! So excited for you op.

Placemarking for after date goss

Oh this thread has taken a lovely turn. Can I organise your hen party?

Sorry if I missed it, when are you getting together?

Ach you never gave him a chance to, Beer! And it sounds like it was leading that way.

DON’T freak yourself out!!!

Have your pizza, watch The Good Place or something, drink your coke, sleep like the dead then tomorrow we’ll pick your outfit! 😂

This is so exciting! I'm really pleased for you, OP.

I think you should either message him or tell him soon that you're looking for a ltr now. Don't get sucked into another fwb situation as it could be unnecessarily painful.

This is making me want to 😢

did you see you have a PM?

Ahhh super update! So please for you OP, enjoy the excitement and butterflies 💕

Day turned out well then, didn’t it!

🥰

what a lovely outcome considers drunk texting the one who got away