That one poster...

[StillCoughingandLaughing]

... on every regular MN thread who crops up with a ridiculous, irrelevant or ‘jokey’ comment that’s so annoying you want to eat your own face. Example:

OP is worried about a legal issue. Up pops that one poster who insists on informing us: ‘This wouldn’t be an issue on Scotland’. Well, that’s genius advice, isn’t it? All the OP has to do is master time travel, go back to before said issue occurs and move to West Lothian first! Or, if she’s mastered time travel, go back and make sure the issue doesn’t happen in the first sodding place.

On a non-drivers thread, someone says they don’t need to drive because they live in central London, and don’t have the money or the space for a car anyway. That one poster chimes in with ‘Well that’s all very well, but what would you do if you lived in a one-street village with buses twice a decade?’ At a wild guess, I’d suggest maybe they wouldn’t move from central London to said village! Or if for some reason they did, maybe it might just be the incentive to learn to drive that hadn’t had before?

On a door answering thread, someone says they don’t answer the door after the dark if they’re not expecting anyone because they live in a rough area. That one poster: ‘You miserable, unsociable lot! Don’t your neighbours ever just pop in for a cuppa? What if it’s a little girl looking for her lost cat? What if the old lady up the road baked you a cake? Bless, she’s probably lonely’. It’s never some scrote on the scrounge, is it?

OP’s mother-in-law criticises her child-rearing, cooking, housekeeping, sexual morals etc. Unless the husband cuts his mother permanently out of his life, that one poster will appear to decree that ‘You don’t have a MIL problem - you have a DH problem’. So hang on, it’s his fault she’s a rotten old bitch?

OP asks ‘Is my sister a bitch for doing XYZ?’ Most people say ‘Yes’. Someone says ‘Actually, I can see her point’. That one poster ‘hilariously’ dives in with ‘Are YOU the OP’s sister?!’ Yes, because that’s the most likely possibility on a site used by millions. It couldn’t possibly just be someone with a different view to the majority.

Any others?

Or you cant mention anyones age.Sometimes you need to.Context is everything.

Plus its not always easy to say no.Some people just railroad you in to an answer.Not everyone is assertive.

Oh I can't read those novel like OPs that go into every little detail and grievance (often written by men - sorry men), and continue in the same long-winded vein in their response to replies. I just think 'blimey no wonder she dumped you!'

f you had to mention everything in your op,it would be like reading War and Peace

Exactly and highly identifiable.

People who read a thread and think it's about them.....

I don’t like posters claiming double standards eg “if a man posted that”.

We live in a misogynistic world and actually some things do make a difference if it’s a man v a woman due to structural differences. I’m reading an interesting book on this at the moment about how the world is set up assuming that (white) men of a certain age are the gold standard etc.

I also hate people claiming that there’s a MN “hive mind” with statements sounding as if there is one MN view. (Apart from them of course, the lone sensible outsider )

I disagree with plenty of posters on this thread, for example!

I also hate getting into arguments with some posters who completely refuse to understand subtleties and quote of context. Or provide no logic or evidence to their claims.

But that’s the beauty of this website. Plenty of different views.

People who read a thread and think it's about them.....

Imagine if it was.

All that its outing.I do be like pff.And then i write something and its like.If someone i know read that ,they would know its me

Posters who suggest get a dog as a solution to a temporary issue, in what way is that practical ?

Also people who post along the same lines as “don’t you have anything better to worry about” or “get a hobby” (just happened to me on my thread 🤗😂🙈) - clearly I do have the time on my hands as I’m on an Internet forum! And the whole point of it is to discuss/moan about stuff, however trivial.

'No is a complete sentence' always really bugs me. It is not.

Technically it is, though. A sentence forms a complete thought. No, and yes, are both complete thoughts, therefore they're sentences without anything else.

I'm probably guilty of several irritations mentioned on here

I get irritated by posters who read the first post by the OP then don't even bother to read their updates. They then continue to give the wrong advice.

When the poster talks about a common or garden prick or cocklodger, and someone else thinks it must be their ex.. 'does his name begin with G?'
FFS abusive knobs are ten a penny!

“Get a cleaner/nanny” comments.

Which you can pay for by letting your spare room and taking in ironing

When my daughter was a lot younger I would post about the fact that she was a terrible sleeper...there would always be at least one who felt the need to chime in about what a good sleeper their child was

Wanted to throat punch tbh

The “taking in ironing” suggestion is hilarious. How does one even go about “taking in ironing” anyway? It sounds like something from the 1950s.

Thoroughly enjoying this thread.
Already has examples of one of my pet hates on it: the posters who join in just to say, "You shouldn't be on social media if people irritate you so much. Live and let live". They're obviously such zen, tolerant people and can just float past irritants... Except they can't since the opening post sparked a reaction. Nobody is never irritated by any interaction with another human (inserts quick IMO here, just in case I've missed the odd saint). Just because you don't know someone, it doesn't mean they can't rile you.
I'm an equal opportunities bitch
Also dislike people who furiously attack someone who doesn't agree with them, then indicates that they're weeping with hilarity or laughing in a tinkly fashion when you know they're grinding their teeth into absolute stubs and have just broken three nails on the keyboard while hammering out their post.
Also (getting into my stride here) I wish people would RTFT. Or, at least, that they wouldn't attack the OP based on reading the first post and nothing else and, also, that might prevent them triumphantly making some barn-door obvious point that ten posters have already made. The latter is harder to do, I realise. One person's obvious point is another's genius idea.

OP you're spot on here.

Poster: 'I'm eight months pregnant and my SIL accidentally stood on my toe, so I punched her in the face, and she fell and hit her head. Instead of comforting me, my DH rushed her to A&E. AIBU to feel neglected?'

Reply: 'Is your DH always so selfish, you're going to be the mother of his child and he puts his sister first? You're entitled to be unreasonable when you're pregnant, who hasn't punched someone in the face for a minor transgression?'

My mind is regularly blown by the number of posters who see pregnancy and post natal hormones as a perfectly valid reason for treating everyone else around you appallingly. And I'm not talking about minor things like being over emotional at something daft, or over reacting to something small through lack of sleep, which I would guess that anyone who has been pregnant probably has done. But major things, like behaving terribly at work or cutting people out of your life for being slightly insensitive.

Steff13, a complete sentence always contains a verb, expresses a complete idea and makes sense standing alone. 'No' isn't a verb, it isn't a complete idea nor does it make sense on its own. The shortest complete sentence in English is, "Go!"

Steff13, a complete sentence always contains a verb

Really? Maybe in the written formal sense (although I struggle to believe that)

When expressing things, we can do that without using a verb yet the expression is “complete”.

It’s grammar pedantry to say that every sentence contains a verb - when it’s clear what the poster is getting at? I.e the point is that you can say no without any further explanation.

Erugh it's like when I'm looking to fill a job spot on Facebook or what not . Theres always like 3 people who go " oh I wish I could, I could've if it was 2 days later, I'm 5000 miles away etc." Its like... christ that's not helpful!!!

What really annoys me is when two posters derail a thread by having a petty argument between themselves, going back and forth with insults.
It's so rude and self absorbed.

then indicates that they're weeping with hilarity or laughing in a tinkly fashion when you know they're grinding their teeth into absolute stubs and have just broken three nails on the keyboard while hammering out their post

10/10

Fantastic thread!

I actually quite like troll hunters, sometimes. Unless the OP is genuine, but the TH behaves like a pit bull with lock-jaw and just won't let it go.

Thread hijackers. Not everything needs to be about you.

I hate 'are you me, OP?'

'I've found my people'... when you're talking about something as inane as whether you put your loo roll on over or under.

Those posters where it's obvious the OP is clearly BU, but they feel the need to play Devil's Advocate.

Armchair psychologists. Not everyone has MH, cognitive or personality disorders. Some people are just shite.

People who post stuff that adds absolutely nothing to the discussion.

People who write a post asking for suggestions and end it with 'aaaaaand, GO!'. Like we had no purpose before but now because of OP we do and we're all supposed to suddenly start scrambling for the honour of coming up with suggestions and posting a response.

People who say “I just spat my coffee all over the keyboard laughing at that!!” Or “I just woke the baby laughing so loudly!!”

No you fucking didn’t. At the best, a smile will be had. I think MN has made me actually LOL once or twice ever.