That one poster...

[StillCoughingandLaughing]

... on every regular MN thread who crops up with a ridiculous, irrelevant or ‘jokey’ comment that’s so annoying you want to eat your own face. Example:

OP is worried about a legal issue. Up pops that one poster who insists on informing us: ‘This wouldn’t be an issue on Scotland’. Well, that’s genius advice, isn’t it? All the OP has to do is master time travel, go back to before said issue occurs and move to West Lothian first! Or, if she’s mastered time travel, go back and make sure the issue doesn’t happen in the first sodding place.

On a non-drivers thread, someone says they don’t need to drive because they live in central London, and don’t have the money or the space for a car anyway. That one poster chimes in with ‘Well that’s all very well, but what would you do if you lived in a one-street village with buses twice a decade?’ At a wild guess, I’d suggest maybe they wouldn’t move from central London to said village! Or if for some reason they did, maybe it might just be the incentive to learn to drive that hadn’t had before?

On a door answering thread, someone says they don’t answer the door after the dark if they’re not expecting anyone because they live in a rough area. That one poster: ‘You miserable, unsociable lot! Don’t your neighbours ever just pop in for a cuppa? What if it’s a little girl looking for her lost cat? What if the old lady up the road baked you a cake? Bless, she’s probably lonely’. It’s never some scrote on the scrounge, is it?

OP’s mother-in-law criticises her child-rearing, cooking, housekeeping, sexual morals etc. Unless the husband cuts his mother permanently out of his life, that one poster will appear to decree that ‘You don’t have a MIL problem - you have a DH problem’. So hang on, it’s his fault she’s a rotten old bitch?

OP asks ‘Is my sister a bitch for doing XYZ?’ Most people say ‘Yes’. Someone says ‘Actually, I can see her point’. That one poster ‘hilariously’ dives in with ‘Are YOU the OP’s sister?!’ Yes, because that’s the most likely possibility on a site used by millions. It couldn’t possibly just be someone with a different view to the majority.

Any others?

Oh, "did you mean to be so rude?" is not the scathing response that some on MN think it is. Rude people don't care that they're being rude. 🤷

Oh god yes all of these! So annoying.

I hate ‘keep your beak out’ when someone is asking for advice. It’s such a nasty way to minimise someone’s concerns.

I don't usually return to a thread I've commented on unless someone has tagged me in another comment. So I sometimes wonder if my stupidly long and rambling posts annoy people, specially if I don't reply. People don't fully quote people's user names with the @ symbol regularly. This irks me a bit because I don't have the time to trawl through every thread I've posted on, to check if anyone has tried to respond to me.

I hate it when a poster is in dire financial straits, but lives near family, friends and work etc. and posters say, "just move somewhere cheaper," as if uprooting yourself from your entire network is so easy and straightforward.

I was once told I was selfish for not moving to the town my step children live in.

I live 200 miles away (at the time) with my own children who had grown up here and were at school here and so have a really good job here

I was told I was selfish for living near my elderly parents and being a carer for them. Because as an educated person I owe it to the country to move somewhere with better salaries and therefore pay more tax.

I'd probably need to earn about half a million a year before I'd pay out in tax what I saved the taxpayer by providing round the clock care for several years

I hate myself when I go on high heel shoe threads to slag off high heels.

Big bug bear of mine us when a poster is describing a situation that occurs regularly in thier life and is distressing/annoying/ or plain awful and 20 posters agree its a common occurrence and they hate it too, then some freaking smart alec comes along and says "Well thats never happened to me, how unusual in other words i don't believe you "

Just because its never happened to you, you really think its not possible?

Sod off.
If its never happened to you wtf is the point in posting on that thread? What use is your wonderful inciteful post to anyone?
Lots of things never happen to a lot of people but they still happen every day to others its not difficult to understand.

This happened on a recent thread..someone said their "DP" had money/mental healrg/accommodation problems but they hadn't been seeing thus person very long so didn't know hkw involved they should get.....someone actually posted " can't his mum help him out" ...there was zero references to parents in OPs thread.why do people assume other adults parents are still alive????and that they are in a position to help?

I think it's the awfully middle class lead in of...."can't you just/ can't his mother just".....it really irkes!!

The one that really annoys me is the assumption that everyone has a garden (maybe because summer is approaching and I wish I did ). ‘If you’re desperate to relax, why not just got and lie out in the garden for a bit? It’s a lovely day!’ Never a thought to ask whether said outside space exists.

On a related point, Koko, it makes me squirm a bit to read posters referring to a fairly recent boyfriend as their DP. I don't see it as an accurate way of describing somebody you don't genuinely share your life with in the sense of sharing accommodation and/or finances, future goals, family etc.

The ones that annoy me are the totally wrong legal advice or employment advice that is given that would only make the situation worse. I have wondered sometimes reading advice about employment situations how some people manage to keep their jobs.

I don't like A and E ones full stop. I am always aware that even if it sounds like a minor issue, nobody on the site knows the full story. So maybe feeling faint is nothing and the OP is a bit of a drama queen. Or maybe the OP saying she feels a bit faint, actually means she can not stand up and walk even a few steps. Impossible to judge.

Someone always has to suggest Balonz on every baby name thread.

Le sigh.

I think a lot of people are bad at putting themselves in someone else's shoes, and it shows on MN.

Reposting a huge quote in bold and typing 'this'
Or 'this with bells on'

'How could you even see your vagina without a mirror or torch? Oh, did you mean vulva

People constantly suggesting sleep consultants on posts when OP has said they can’t afford them.

The phrase “little family” Like every other member of your family is no longer important or relevant once you’ve had a baby.

Posters who say "I couldn't get to the end of that" or "paragraphs are your friend" when some poor poster has just poured their heart out, is struggling with an upsetting situation and is clearly distressed.

Can they really not manage to read a body of text because it's not properly set out in paragraphs or has grammatical errors. It's a post on social media not a bloody academic essay.

Two I really hate. One is where someone comes in and describes a relative or friend (OK, usually MIL) treating them like absolute shit and then the first reply is "you really don't like her do you " like yeah no I love her to bits, I'm the new Mother Theresa.

And then, the ones where someone asks for a moral judgement and doesn't get it. "My best friend told me she wanted to organise me a 30th birthday party and then instead she organised a skiing holiday for that weekend with five of our best mutual friends and she knows I don't ski, what's that about" and the first reply is "there's no law against going on a skiing holiday, she's perfectly entitled to do that if she wants to." That's not the question, the question is is she a total cow, and the answer is yes.

The one that annoys me,is when the op misses a little point then mentions it.And then are torn to shreds for "drip feeding".

If you had to mention everything in your op,it would be like reading War and Peace.

What really makes me want to weep is when posters do not read even the opening post, especially when the poster is obviously troubled. I read one this evening where a teenager right at the end of their post stated their age. Couldn’t have been clearer. First response from someone ‘How old are you?’
If you can’t be bothered to read the whole post don’t bloody reply!
On a lighter note the ‘No?’ And it’s less popular variant ‘Yes?’ Also make me want to scream! As a pp said, so patronising.

'No is a complete sentence' always really bugs me. It is not. People saying it are obviously just repeating something they have heard without understanding it.
Others are, 'get your ducks in a row' and 'be kind'.
Also, when someone is saying what an obnoxious brat a bullying child/teenager is being, people slate the OP and gasp in horror that the OP doesn't like them because THEY ARE A CHILD! They just need love and they will suddenly change into a perfect little person!

The Christmas opposites from November onwards are irritating.

OP will say they will be spending the day alone and ask for a bit of advice/moral support when all of a sudden somebody pops up with 'I have 100 people AND their pets visiting I cook and clean after all of them consider yourself lucky'

Then there's the person who gets dumped on at Christmas every year. They will be the slave to 20people and want a bit of encouragement when up chimes 'I've not a soul to spend it with consider yourself lucky'

I can’t be doing with the first post that takes 15 minutes to read with no paragraphs and lots of and he said then she said and urs usually something that could have been summed up in one sentence.