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To be a bit sad that my parents didn't push me more as a child?

377 replies

Cleopatramanuf · 25/04/2019 09:45

I've been reflecting on everything lately and feel a bit sad, like I've missed out on things which I could have been really great at and enjoyed.

For example, in primary school, I was very good at athletics. I was always chosen to represent my school at athletics competitions and would often get through to the final against the best other kids in the (very large) county and win. My sports teacher at the time was always telling me and my parents that I have great aptitude and that I should really keep up athletics after leaving primary school. My high school didn't have any athletics and so I asked my parents if I could go to one out of school. They agreed but I was very shy and came home and told them that I enjoyed it but felt shy. Rather than encouraging me to keep going, my mum just said 'oh well, you should quit then, no fun to be doing it on your own'. Now I wish she'd encouraged me to stick at it, I could have done really well!

Another thing, gymnastics as a child. I loved it. My mum stopped taking me because the centre was a bit grimy. I begged her to let me carry on but she just said no after that rather than looking for a different centre for me to go to.

Another example, I went to a cycling velodrome as a kid with a friend's parent and won loads of the races. The instructor came up to my friend's mum specifically to tell her that I showed real possibility and should go back. When she told my mum, my mum just scoffed and said 'bet they say that to all the kids' and left it there. I never got to go back.

A further one, when I was studying for my GCSEs, I told her that I wanted to be either a doctor or a vet. She immediately told me that I wasn't clever enough for that which really demotivated me when revising. I still did very well and in hindsight, with her encouragement, would have had a very good chance of getting into these careers. I am actually pretty bright!

There's so many similar examples and whenever I watch competitions or videos of all these people talking about their life or competing at a high level, I get a twinge of sadness that that maybe could have been me. I feel sad that she didn't push me to develop my talents and encourage me to reach my goals.

OP posts:
Cleopatramanuf · 28/04/2019 21:33

@Mary1066 wow, thank you so much, you've made me cry! Flowers

OP posts:
mary1066 · 28/04/2019 22:39

Cleopatramanuf You are not alone and I so wish you were my daughter so I could be there for you especially now. When I asked my mum to tell me one important thing she did for me she shamelessly answered, 'I gave birth to you'! It took me years to get over that by accepting she's not normal and I couldn't expect her to be normal. Their words and actions can be so cruel and leave deep scars but with help we can live a happy life. It takes a lot of hard work but it's so well worth it. Mindfulness & Meditation and yoga proved effective when medications had failed me for nearly 20 years. Before that a couple of excellent therapists worked wonders too. To be understood by them was so liberating. Mapping out what I wanted in life and finding out how to get there by breaking it up to small bites bore fruit for me. All very Mindfully and Meditatively, of course. Wish you the very, very best in life, my dear xxx

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