To think this sounds like a holiday from absolute hell??

[tiffanygoldduck]

DHs grandmother has just died and so his parents have just inherited a decent amount of money.

They have offered to pay to take our family (me, DH, DS6, DS5, DD3 and DS13mnths) and SILs family (SIL, her DH and 3 kids B13, G8 and G5) to Disneyworld in the summer holidays for 2 weeks. They plan on booking a villa and then us doing all the amusement parks, having some time to explore and go shopping etc.

All seems ideal- aside from the fact DH and SIL don’t get on and haven’t spoken for nearly 2.5 years (she hasn’t even met our youngest and has met DD a handful of times and I doubt our elder 2 will even know who she/their uncle/their cousins are). There have been attempts of phone call reconciliation to no avail. She has refused to come to every family event if DH is attending (meaning that most have been split 50/50)

SIL has agreeed to this holiday being aware that DH has been invited too- but she is very greedy, hates spending money and both me and DH have agreed she will be nicey nicey until we are on holiday and all hell will break loose which will ruin the holiday for everyone and upset MIL because it isn’t going to be cheap and she is trying to do something that none of us will ever be able to afford otherwise without getting into debt.

SIL is MIL “golden child”- and MIL thinks it effects DH, when in reality he couldn’t really give a shit anymore. DH is very reasonable in that he always tells MIL to put SIL first- which he can’t see then gives SIL a golden ticket to rub it in his face even more.

DH has suggested I go with the D.C. and he stays behind, which I don’t think is fair- especially when it’s his family paying.

He doesn’t want to suggest his parents taking SILs family and us doing something else, because he doesn’t want to see as being grabby.

We are both gutted —mostly for us not the kids— that there doesn’t seem to be a easy way round this

AIBU?

I wouldn’t go. I would also be hoping SIL would be eaten by a croc.

Could you go one week each with MIL staying for the duration of the entire holiday, but your family and SIL’s family going for one week? May be you can go and stay somewhere less expensive and more suitable for your younger children for the second week and pay for the second week yourself, if it’s in your budget?

No,no and no again. Lovely kind gesture maybe, but keeping kids happy without squabbling for two weeks is hard enough,never mind the issue of the adults not seeing eye to eye. I would be sincere, express my gratitude but politely decline. If MIL wishes to then propose an alternative then great, if not, no hard feelings. You wouldn't have had that holiday anyway so no big loss.

Just decline politely. Sounds like hell on too many levels.

For people saying Ops dh should grow up we have no idea what the falling out was about. Having no contact with a family member can be for legitimate reasons. Plus op has said her dh has tried contact and it sil who is refusing.
I wouldn't want to go on that holiday even if everyone was talking as that many people in a villa sounds like hell. Think of all the children getting exhausted and then different parenting styles will lead to conflict.
Also OP this holiday seems geared more for sils children as yours are too youbg to get the most out of it.

I would say that your children are too young and you would prefer to go with MIL in 18 months in cooler weather. See what she says?

Don't go to Florida in the summer, I lived there for 3 years, I've been to places with 40+ days, nicknamed the badlands and that's more bearable than Florida. Especially with young children and family feuds. It would be pure hell. If you have to go, go in October or over Christmas.