For not wanting to holiday abroad?

[chocolatelog]

Myself and 4 out of 5 of the children haven't been abroad. We don't even have passports.

Dh and the 3 oldest all want to go on holiday this year. Dh has found a holiday for 10 days in Spain and is pressuring me to go but I've got zero interest. My eldest (17) has been with her friends family so she's got the bug and is begging me to go.
A part of me feels like I should go because before long the kids will be older and won't be interested in going with us, but I just can't be bothered with it all. I filled in one passport form and that was enough to make me go 🙈 it took 5 attempts at getting it wrong, so the thought of filling in 5 people's worth is enough to put me into an early grave!

The two youngest are 5 and 2 and I feel like it won't really be an enjoyable experience for me, dh is very hands on with them but I'm a stress head and get into rage pretty quickly 😬

Plus the money for passports and the actual holiday for 7 people makes me think we could use it for better things, we both need a new cat each and I'm thinking I'd rather those than a pissing holiday 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don't know if my attitude to it all is because I've never been abroad, I'm quite happy to spend a week in Cornwall or Dorset or anywhere else that this country has to offer. The thought of flying and watching the kids like a hawk just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. Is it a case of what you've never had you never miss? Or should I just put my happy face on and agree to going?

I think it’s pretty obvious nothing would persuade you to go OP! I do think you are holding your family back from something they (and maybe even you!) would love, but it also sounds like there are some valid reasons too (like not having the money and your DH being, by the sounds of things, a useless and lazy twat who would leave it all to you).

One thing that stood out earlier in the thread was you saying you’ve never even been away for a week in the U.K. could that be a compromise? It would give you the opportunity to make some memories and share precious time together but for less money and without the heat / passports issue.

Well I wouldn't call her DP lazy and useless. Guy is working hard enough to feed family of 7 and afford holidays and/or cars and home improvements 🤷‍♀️

@HBStowe I've suggested a week away here but he refuses. Says he won't waste he's money here anymore when for a bit more we can go abroad. The thing is I love this country and haven't even seen it all yet, it's beautiful. All the gorgeous countryside, coastlines ect why would you want to go and discover elsewhere when you haven't even explored your own country 😌 plus after a couple of days the kids will be moaning to get home to their friends 🙈

@InspectorClouseauMNdivision thank you. He's definitely not lazy, he works 14 hour days.

What about France? A camp ground next to a lake, where you could hike and enjoy the beauty and they could sunbathe by the water?

@mimibunz that sounds great. I'll run it by him. Their thinking more beaches, pools and water parks 🙈 not my cup of tea what so ever.

Frankly OP you sound like a real killjoy. If I were your DH or one of the older kids I'd be pretty pissed off with you.

Stop whining, go on the holiday and try to live a little.

not my cup of tea what so ever
As if you'd even know but yes, its all about "me, me, me". Why should what the whole family wants matter? As long as you are happy screw the kids and dh!

‘AIBU?’

‘A bit yes’

‘No I’m not’

For anyone that hasn’t RTFT

Ladies and gents, be gentle.
OP is probably being messed about by pregnancy hormones....

@mushroomsandtoadstools how are they missing out exactly? I didn't feel like I'd missed out as a child, I had a happy childhood

That’s exactly my point. You don’t think you missed out because you were never allowed to go, and now you can, you’re using every excuse under the sun because of the anxiety that you selfishly refuse to do anything about and hold your family hostage to (and I’m willing to bet you’ve got it off your parents and them likewise whether you acknowledge it or not).

Children who don’t go abroad are missing out on other cultures, languages, experiences, and you are happily denying them that because you refuse to get better.

The main point in my other post was your selfish refusal to stop forcing your family to live according to your anxiety and push yourself to get well and you completely ignored it.

You can’t bury your head in the sand forever. Your children will resent you for it, even the ones who might be lucky enough not to pick up your anxiety.

YABU!

Everyone else in the family wants to go, don't be a stick in the mud!

You've done it your way your whole life now try it someone else's way. You don't have to spend the whole time sunbathing to can go for beautiful walks.

You can explore the UK when you're old and travelling is harder, the kids are only young once.

Wow this is still going hours later - you don't want to go, you've made your decision, you don't want to hear people's advice, you have an excuse for everything - DONT GO THEN!

@sighrollseyes not excuses. Reasons

Not, they arent reasons. They are excuses and they keep changing/growing as the thread goes on

Reasons / excuses whatever you call them - you've made your choice - don't go! Buy a car end of! You don't want to hear what anyone else says so just go buy your car and stay in the 4 walls of Blighty till you die. Sorted.

YABU

If I were your DH I'd pack up myself and the 5 kids, take us all off abroad and leave you home alone to wallow in your self-absorption.

^ this !!!!

If I were your DH I'd pack up myself and the 5 kids, take us all off abroad and leave you home alone to wallow in your self-absorption.

Oh I'd love nothing more. Have my own holiday at home. But he won't 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 I've even offered to pack 😥😥😥

There are loads of great camp sites in France, have a look at companies like Euro camp or even Belgium or Holland. We have been to Centre Parks there, loads cheaper than the UK and with the car you can get out and have a look a round. So much more things to do and see as well as the kids splashing around a pool you could get out and explore. Even the supermarkets and food shopping is intriguing!

What about the fact that your eldest has had this exciting experience you've never had, and she wants to share it with you. Don't you think she will feel disappointed that you will probably never go abroad with her because it's outside your comfort zone?

Maybe he wants to have a family holiday! Do you want him to actually get so fed up and leave you and your family. He will do if you're not careful! Sounds awful that you don't want to do something of his choice as a family.

Meant to say as well you would only have 5 passports to get as your DH and DD must already have one.

@KittyInTheCradle OP doesn't care about her kids or DH point of view - only her own!