For not wanting to holiday abroad?

[chocolatelog]

Myself and 4 out of 5 of the children haven't been abroad. We don't even have passports.

Dh and the 3 oldest all want to go on holiday this year. Dh has found a holiday for 10 days in Spain and is pressuring me to go but I've got zero interest. My eldest (17) has been with her friends family so she's got the bug and is begging me to go.
A part of me feels like I should go because before long the kids will be older and won't be interested in going with us, but I just can't be bothered with it all. I filled in one passport form and that was enough to make me go 🙈 it took 5 attempts at getting it wrong, so the thought of filling in 5 people's worth is enough to put me into an early grave!

The two youngest are 5 and 2 and I feel like it won't really be an enjoyable experience for me, dh is very hands on with them but I'm a stress head and get into rage pretty quickly 😬

Plus the money for passports and the actual holiday for 7 people makes me think we could use it for better things, we both need a new cat each and I'm thinking I'd rather those than a pissing holiday 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don't know if my attitude to it all is because I've never been abroad, I'm quite happy to spend a week in Cornwall or Dorset or anywhere else that this country has to offer. The thought of flying and watching the kids like a hawk just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. Is it a case of what you've never had you never miss? Or should I just put my happy face on and agree to going?

Out of curiosity, does he get on with his DM? I'm wondering whether he could take her instead?! He'd have to sort it all then and do the donkey work. Could that be a possibility?

Blimey the OP is getting a right drubbing here. OP I think this is one of the occasions where you'll have to suck it up and go. I know it's hard and I sense your anxiety is causing you to put out all of these excuses, but if you can afford to go, what's the worst that will happen.

But every time someone brings up something valid you have an excuse going.

There not excuses though. There reasons why I don't want to go. If your dh was banging on about a holiday when you needed all this other stuff. Suffered with depression and anxiety. And wasn't interested in going because you just know what it's going to be like, would you go?

If we go and we get back and he's van finally breaks he won't have the money to buy a new because he's wasted it on a holiday?

We're not millionaires we have bills, and stuff that needs paying and buying. He lives in his own world where he makes crap on the minute decisions without looking at the bigger picture.

He can not afford this holiday and I've told him that. And I can't sit around on a beach somewhere trying to enjoy a stupid holiday knowing what we've got to come home too. That's why I'm the sensible one and if it was left to him we'd probably be homeless.

He lives in his own world where he makes crap on the minute decisions without looking at the bigger picture
if it was left to him we'd probably be homeless

Errr ... I thought you said he was "a great husband and father"?

@GimmeChocolateNow yes he does and I've told him to take her but he's not having any of it. He wants me to go and I'd rather put pins in my eyes 🙈

@Puzzledandpissedoff he is.

OP sounds like my sister in law. They don't go abroad either. Not because they can't afford it, but because of endless excuses. Some of the ones I can remember are: husband has been abroad he went on a pilgrimage to Lourdes and didn't like it, might be too hot, might be too cold, weather might be better at home, can't get time off work, need to get the car serviced instead, have nothing to wear, everything's sold out, can't get a passport, might not like the food, not sure about flying.... list is endless.

She's not depressed or anxious. She is just one of those people who never travels more than 10 miles from her home. EVER. We live 200 miles from them, she has been to our house once and we've lived here 15 years. Her children are 16 and 14 and have never been abroad. They have never had family holidays. She actively discourages school trips because going abroad is a waste of money and she's sure they won't enjoy it anyway.

She is one of hte most narrow minded and boring people I know. She never goes anywhere, sees anything or does anything. Means she has nothing to discuss save the latest ITV talent show. Dull, dull, dull. And yeah, her kids are shaping up to be exactly the same.

You have 5 children. You need to grow up.

First it's that you absolutely CBA. Then it's MH issues, then it's money. What will be next? Whole family perished after eating Chorizo so no way you go to Spain?

@InspectorClouseauMNdivision I don't like the heat either 👍🏼

Well then there are clearly bigger issues at play. I wouldn't want to go on holiday with people I didn't like.

Yep, he's a really great husband and father. You're ill mentally, but he insists you go abroad when you don't want to and do all hte donkey work for the family instead of doing it and taking them off himself or even taking the older ones off on his own so it looks like you're the bad guy for not kowtowing to his plans and organising it all then sitting with the younger ones and having their meals ready when they come back from swanning off.

Op do you even like your family? The way you talk about them and how you "rather put pins in your eyes" then enjoy a nice holiday with them is devasting. Im sure they dont deserve a mother (and wife from you dh pov) who thinks like that about them. Seems like you have bigger problems then just being selfish and close minded

Honestly, it just reads as such a sad situation. I don’t know what to recommend OP

The fact that you'd rather put pins in your eyes than go on holiday with your family is desperately sad. If you don't like them that much, don't have any more!

The thing is you seem to be in block everything mode.

If you really can't bring yourself to leave the UK then you need to find alternatives that will suit you AND your husband - be it 10 days hillwalking in Wales/surfing at Newquay/crabbing at Cromer.

He clearly wants something different from a weekend away and he's found and costed a holiday he wants to go on. Stopping blocking and offer alternatives.

@GreytExpectations sometimes.

@Ginger1982 because you've said that I think I'll start trying for another soon 👍🏼

Well you're clearly just taking the piss now. But if it makes you feel better, rock on 🤘

Wow op, you arent even taking this seriously anymore, are you? Why keep posting except to be goady?

How do you know you’ll dislike something if you’ve never done it?
Your children are missing out .
Holidaying in Spain doesn’t mean cheap sangria and lager louts .
I couldn’t imagine just holidaying in this country every year even though I don’t mind Cornwall or the Lake District for a few days .
It’s a huge world out there and if you’re not fussed then don’t go but hold your kids back from enjoying other countries , let your dh take them

Also , holidays abroad are comparable with the cost of a break over here nowadays so you can’t use that excuse .

@Pk37 he won't take them 🙄

OP, serious question. If you don't like your family, why are you adding to it? Hoping you'll like the next one more??

I can't believe that anyone would put their own whines above the other 6 people in the household. You just want everyone to sit at home, twiddling their thumbs, instead of actually seeing something of the world.

@GreytExpectations not goady just being polite and replying. It's rude not too.

@Omzlas they can see the world 🙄 I'm not stopping them. Dh won't take them. Read the comments.

@chocolate would YOU do it if your DH said "you go, take all the kids and go by yourself"?? Sure as shit I wouldn't.

You're being selfish and lazy and expecting everyone else to live by the same standard.

You also came to AIBU - you've been told that you are but you're just rolling out drip feeds and rehashing the same excuses over and over.