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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my OH is a complete twat?!

211 replies

Fatandpregnant · 23/04/2019 21:21

So I’m 6 months pregnant and we all know insecurities come with being pregnant. None the less my “classroom clown” OH still loves to make comments on other women on the telly and whatnot... it’s half said in jest but it’s often enough that I just roll my eyes and tell him he’s annoying. His most used phrase is “I’d fold it” to pretty much anything with a pulse. Don’t get me wrong we have quite a jokey relationship and don’t take too much to heart. But today he has waaaay overstepped the mark.

I messaged him on Instagram showing him a celebrities story as they were doing a really cool giraffe feeding thing with their kids saying “wow isn’t this amazing, id love to do this”. His response was “do you wanna know what I wanna do”... I said “no, safari?”

Then the next thing to come through was a photo of a girl off the telly on a trashy show in her underwear. He’d mentioned she “was a bit of him” last night.

AIBU to think it was so unnecessary, disrespectful, insensitive and down right rude. I am livid. And I told him so. Did I get an apology? No. Instead I was called a boring c**t for not finding his joke funny.

I’ve been on and off in tears all day since.

Please tell me I’m not overreacting or being hormonal?

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 23/04/2019 22:44

I'm sorry, it must be hard.

And AIBU, this particular talk board of Mumsnet, can be harsh. That was what I meant earlier.

Do you have much support around you?

MaryShelley1818 · 23/04/2019 22:44

He sounds absolutely vile OP.
I just think it’s so very sad how much some women will put up with, you need to value yourself more.
Also a ‘great dad’ does not disrespect his partner and call her a cunt. He’s disgusting.

PresidentHump · 23/04/2019 22:45

Why do women breed with these men. I don't get it. Let them die out. If a few of us women have to be childless as a result to even it up so be it.

Original poster
Fatandpregnant · 23/04/2019 22:45

Perhaps.

OP posts:
IncrediblySadToo · 23/04/2019 22:45

I’m glad you realise it’s not acceptable, there’s no excuse for calling you a cunt because you don’t find him sending you images of women he wants to fuck (however unlikely) funny. Especially when
You have already told him how crap you’re feeling about yourself.

IndiaLee · 23/04/2019 22:46

@Fatandpregnant

You’ve hit the nail on the head there. I was literally just thinking the same and how I’m sitting here now defending him.

I think in reality it’s hard to hear you might have made some wrong choices and It’s hard not to try and defend yourself. That’s what I was trying to get at when someone asked how we get on other than all this sexist shit.

He needs to change. I need to as well.

Just taking a bit of time to sink in!

Fair enough OP. Sorry if I sounded harsh. You deserve better that's all, and it makes me mad when women sell themselves short. Good luck. Flowers

Please don't put up with this. Tell him you won't be spoken to like this!

MissLadyM · 23/04/2019 22:48

Grotesque. I feel really sorry for you

Original poster
Fatandpregnant · 23/04/2019 22:50

@autumncrow

Thanks for the comment, I have plenty of support thank you! And in all honesty people can say what they want, I don’t know them and they don’t know me. It’s interesting to hear all kinds of opinions. Be them sharp or not.

I’m not perfect by any long shot. I’ve made bad decisions and let things slide that shouldn’t. Don’t quite think I should be vilified for it but hey ho. Each to their own.

I appreciate people have taken time from their day to comment. So thank you everyone, whether your opinion has been well received or not.

OP posts:
IncrediblySadToo · 23/04/2019 22:52

It’s natural to be defensive, partly because you love him (at least some of the time) and because it reflects on your choices. However, you seem to be seeing that too now...

The earlier poster meant why did you post in AIBU rather than in Relationships, NOT why did you post on Mumsnet 💐

Sometimes actually seeing someone for who they really are is really quite upsetting & worrying.

MN is actually really supportive, but Relationships really is a better place to post.

Original poster
Fatandpregnant · 23/04/2019 22:53

Ahh should have probably had a little
Mooch around before I posted 🙈 sorry to rile all you guys up!

OP posts:
IncrediblySadToo · 23/04/2019 23:02

Oh you didn’t, not one bit. Post where you like...but if you want more reasoned answers then AIBU is not the place 😖. It’s a bear pit on a good day 😖

The other ‘Topics’ are far nicer, more helpful and reasoned. Mostly 🤣

Original poster
Fatandpregnant · 23/04/2019 23:04

Haha thank you! I know now for next time that I’ll get my head bitten off if I post in here. Right that’s enough for one evening. I’m going to try and sleep through the sore back and hips and hopefully tomorrow can sort this mess out!

OP posts:
alittleprivacy · 23/04/2019 23:04

Sorry OP, it must be like living with Jay from The Inbetweeners.

Singlenotsingle · 23/04/2019 23:05

What a creep. Eugh!

AutumnCrow · 23/04/2019 23:06

I think Relationships is a very supportive board on Mumsnet. AIBU, not so much sometimes.

Original poster
Fatandpregnant · 23/04/2019 23:06

@alittleprivacy haha you’re actually not far off. Albeit he is older and dare I say better looking!

OP posts:
w0man · 23/04/2019 23:06

So you were trying to plan something to do as family and he turns it into a discussion about who he wants to fuck?

Would he see the funny side if men were making jokes about wanting to "fold" you, or his dd when she grows.

He sounds like a childish schoolboy who is sex mad and when they're not watching porn they're making jokes about their female classmates, who also get called boring and frigid for not laughing at it.

I'd start doing the same, when he asks what's for dinner say you fancy a bit of some blokes cock. That's stopping to his level I suppose. I wouldn't be happy with not being able to discuss a day out for the kids while his head is thinking of fucking women.

If you find that humour funny he should still know there's a time and a place and when your wife is asking to do something with kids, that's not the time.

Original poster
Fatandpregnant · 23/04/2019 23:07

@autumncrow yeah they are all wankers on here.... JK guys before you hang, draw and quarter me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fatandpregnant · 23/04/2019 23:10

@w0men you are so right! It missed the mark so badly It just instantly got my back up. There is a time and a place (albeit that would never have been funny) and today was not that time. It caught me so off guard I Literally couldn’t believe he’d sent me it. And he’s still denying he’s done anything wrong so I’m going to have to talk to him tomorrow when I’ve calmed down a little.

I just pray he sees that it was so gross and he can’t behave like that.

Fingers crossed!

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 23/04/2019 23:10

You should feel more secure because you’re carrying his baby not less.He should be even more on your side and fighting your corner.

TooBusyHavingFun · 23/04/2019 23:11

misogynistic arsehole

^This and a twat, sorry if you're stuck with him now....

BillyGoatGruff007 · 23/04/2019 23:18

And one day, some other idiot will say “I’d fold it” about his daughter.
I wonder if he’ll defend that ?

Crunchymum · 23/04/2019 23:21

Hope you aren't having a daughter. Although I don't imagine he's a good role model for a son

RightOnTheEdge · 23/04/2019 23:28

He sounds like a pig OP.

I hope you can have a good talk with him tomorrow and make it absolutely clear that you find the 'joke' and the way he spoke to you unacceptable and that he listens and understands.

Good luck Flowers

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 23/04/2019 23:33

These types of men are gross.